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Original poster

How do I make myself like the cat again

35 replies

someperspextive · 06/01/2023 11:32

Posting for traffic as I know I ABU - but I really want to know if anyone else has gone through this!

So we currently own three cats. One has lived with us since 2017. He was my first baby and I loved him to pieces. We got him along with his brother who was born with severe kidney deformation and spent thousands paying for surgery to get it fixed. Sadly he still passed away very young.

After that, the cat seemed lonely so we got a new kitten in 2018.

This worked perfectly and two cats felt like plenty.

Then my MIL sadly passed away in 2020 and left a 6 year old moggy cat, who we adopted as we didn't know what else to do - and since we had two anyway it didn't seem that it would make that much difference.

I've never warmed massively to her but always thought she was perfectly fine.

However - since having DD in 2021 and getting pregnant again this year, I am finding this cat unbearable.

I have so much anxiety about toxoplasmosis and this cat seems incapable of cleaning herself. She's had dried poo around her bum in the past (which DH had to sort out), she scratches everything, she malts like crazy. I'm terrified she's going to leave poo on a surface that I'm going to pick up toxo from and I feel like I'm cleaning up all the time after her.

I don't know what to do - how do I make myself get through this? Has anyone disliked their pet (that they didn't want in the first place!!?) and got over it?

She has toys, goes outside and is still destructive by the way!

OP posts:
Sakura7 · 31/12/2023 10:30

Cheesestring67 · 31/12/2023 08:58

Why on earth would I? I now have a lovely clean, pet free home it's wonderful.

You're clearly not a pet person. OP is, she just needs to tackle her irrational anxiety about one specific cat out of three.

A healthy cat doesn't wee all over the house for no reason, so your experience is not typical of cat ownership in general.

laclochette · 31/12/2023 10:55

Take the cat to the vet to check there aren't any issues making it harder for her to clean herself. It could be physical or psychological or both - upheaval and stress and change can make cats wee where they shouldn't, as can some medical issues.

And then, have her groomed regularly (eg every 3 months minimum) including a "hygiene trim" or as we call it, her Brazilian... A nice shave all round the rear. They can also brush out a lot of the loose fur much better than you will be able to. Some groomers will come to your house which makes it much more convenient and less stressful for the cat. Your vet will probably have some recommendations for groomers, or ask on local groups.

Cheesestring67 · 31/12/2023 11:11

Im not an animal person in general, however to each their own. Happy New year!

Violina · 27/03/2024 20:11

How long did you have to wait to love your cat again? I’m at the same situation right now. But I only have one cat and feel so sorry for him

Violina · 27/03/2024 20:18

Universalsnail · 30/12/2023 10:04

I went through a stage where I dislikes my 2 cats when my children were born. To the point the only reason I didn't re-home them was out of a stubborness about it being the wrong thing to do. This dislike seemed to naturally go away by itself as my child grew and now I love my cats again. I would just wait it out tbh. You'll probably feel better about the cat the older your child gets, I think this is a pregnancy newborn thing.

I would take the cat to the vets about it struggling to clean it's bum though. Cats are very clean animals and it not cleaning itself properly isn't really normal. Could be some kind of mobility issue.

How long did you have to wait to love your cat again? I’m at the same situation right now. But I only have one cat and feel so sorry for him

IloveAslan · 28/03/2024 02:27

Cheesestring67 · 31/12/2023 08:58

Why on earth would I? I now have a lovely clean, pet free home it's wonderful.

The question is why did you ever have a pet in the first place? People like you just reinforce why it is that I prefer animals.

IkeaMeatballGravy · 28/03/2024 03:39

It's quite normal to go through a phase of seeing pets as a threat during pregnancy/post partum. It's just a bit taboo to talk about. It needs to be talked about more so less people rehome pets for a temporary issue.

My baby is 5 months old now and adore my cat again, but until DS was about 3 months old I saw him as a threat to DS which was so upsetting.

Get the cat to the vet OP and find a groomer to sort out the bum hair. Get the poo problem sorted now before baby arrives.

HiCandles · 28/03/2024 04:06

Don't assume you're immune OP. It's often said that cat owners will have been exposed to toxoplasmosis already as many on this thread have repeated. It wasn't true for me, I have had cats my entire life and never bothered washing hands after touching them, have cleaned up poo and prey umpteen times, but I chose to have a blood test to check when I was pregnant and I'd never been exposed. That meant DH was on litter tray duty.
I'd be checking cat is healthy first off OP with the vet.

Notinthemood12 · 28/03/2024 06:10

Cheesestring67 · 30/12/2023 04:41

I may sound harsh, but get rid. Your mental health and general health is much more important than the cat

what a vile person you are

Violina · 28/03/2024 08:20

HiCandles · 28/03/2024 04:06

Don't assume you're immune OP. It's often said that cat owners will have been exposed to toxoplasmosis already as many on this thread have repeated. It wasn't true for me, I have had cats my entire life and never bothered washing hands after touching them, have cleaned up poo and prey umpteen times, but I chose to have a blood test to check when I was pregnant and I'd never been exposed. That meant DH was on litter tray duty.
I'd be checking cat is healthy first off OP with the vet.

Agree. Especially if our cats are indoor. I didn’t do a test as I got my cat at the same month I got pregnant but my few friends did and they were “clean”.
But I completely understand the fear. Pregnancy and the first months after make us a different person

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