Housebarassment & relatives coming to stay

[Geminijust]

8 months ago, relatives contacted me and said they would be visiting from Australia in January and could they stay with us for a few nights as part of their trip. We'd not long had a loft conversion and still had work to do but it gave us the incentive to redecorate our old room as a guest room and get the stairs & landing decorated & carpeted. Due to costs, DH has been doing most of the work himself. We've been very busy but managed to get the room finished by the skin of our teeth. The stairs & landing are almost finished but we ran out of time & money for the carpet which I was rather disappointed about but not the end of the world.

They arrive this weekend so I've been running around getting the house ready when, to our horror, discovered a water leak under the kitchen floor a few days ago. It's got steadily worse, causing damp all up the walls & starting to infiltrate the cupboards so we've had to empty some of them into the lounge. After frustrating & stressful dealings with the insurance company, their contractors are due to come today to drill up the concrete floor & stop the leak. The place is going to be an even bigger mess and I'm mortified. We then face weeks of disruption as the damage is repaired. I have pre-warned the relatives in a lighthearted way and they've said "awww don't worry, we'll take you as we find you". However, I feel so stressed & worried about the whole thing.

It's too late to do anything about this weekend but they're due to go off round the country and stay another weekend in a couple of weeks before flying home. God knows what state we'll be in by then.

I feel so bad about the whole thing and wonder if I should be trying to sort alternative accommodation for them, although it's a cost they won't have budgeted for.

Arghhhh.

I know it's a pain, but as a guest in someone else's house it's really not something I'd be worrying about! The main thing is a comfy bed and working bathroom - everything else we'd be pretty self sufficient in 🤣
I know it's a pain and I too hate living in chaos, but it's not your fault and just one of those things that can happen to any of us

I would message them and explain that the scale of the disruption you are now facing means that unfortunately they will need to find alternative accommodation. I would apologise but say that it's major not minor damage and disruption, and so you wanted to let them know ASAP since it will no longer be possible for you to host anyone. They probably think you are exaggerating because you are house proud, so be polite but firm that they cannot stay.

Yabu to use the term "housebarrassment". It's not a thing, no matter how much marketing companies try to make it a thing! You'll be fine, they should be appreciative of the free accommodation.

Don't worry - my experience of Australian visitors is that they are happy to rough it, and don't fuss about things being perfect.

I would not host guests under those circumstances. I would tell them they need to make alternative arrangements. It's just one of those things, unfortunately.

If you are otherwise okay with having them to stay, and it’s the embarrassment which is the issue rather than stress and lack of space etc, then don’t worry . They are here to see you, not judge your home.
could you arrange some nice trips out to show off your area?
also, maybe start a mood board or Pinterest with ideas of how it will all look when it’s done, that you can share with them?

Yabu to use the term "housebarrassment". It's not a thing, no matter how much marketing companies try to make it a thing! You'll be fine, they should be appreciative of the free accommodation.

Lol, I know but it sums up perfectly how I feel. I am pretty houseproud and was pissed off enough about having no staircarpet but this is a whole other level of embarrassment!

Housebarassment

Please let's not make a Wickes Kitchens slogan a common phrase....

Please let's not make a Wickes Kitchens slogan a common phrase...

Ironically it is a Wickes kitchen. Embarrassing.....

If the guest room and the bathroom facilities are warm and clean, then that's the main thing. They're family, they presumably have affection for you. They'll be able to see that this is a genuine crisis and in no way your fault. Keep the food and cups of tea coming.

Tell them what you have said on here. If they are still happy to stay then just muddle through. Not everyone is judgemental.

People always remember the way you made them feel… not any faults
Make the house homely.
Put cheap bunch flowers in vase in room , or all over house. or 2 so vase is overflowing.
Make up bed with sheets, layers, plump pillows up , plump up cushions.
leave them with lots towels.
Light candles, dim the overhead lights.
Have nice food, open some wine.
Enjoy their company.
Put the empty kitchen cupboard stuff away .. in boxes under stairs or whatever.
order takeaways if kitchen out of bounds!
Guests are not here to see a perfect home… they want to see you!

A few years ago we had friends visiting from Oz, for a week, we had the ceilings down in kitchen diner, we gave them the option of still staying with us they chose to stay in local hotel, but spent everyday with us. It worked very well.

Or take a deep breath and laugh about it! You couldn’t have foreseen this happening and your visitors will take their cues from you. It will be part of the story they tell about their trip and you can either laugh and all muck in together or you can be uptight and miserable. (Yes I know it’s stressful too, we have builders coming and the mess and intrusion isn’t fun) but as far as visitors go they’ll probably be delighted to eat fish and chips off their knees in chaos than in houseproud perfection. They’re here for a holiday and to see you. You can send photos of the new kitchen. Relax and enjoy your visitors

Let them stay and see how it goes. We’re all different I know, but I’d see it as a great opportunity not to worry about whether everything was neat and tidy and providing them with ‘full board’ accommodation.
If they’ve got a clean comfy bed, somewhere to store their luggage and a bathroom that will be enough. They will be able to see for themselves that you are living in chaos and if they then decide they don’t want to impose it’s their choice to stay elsewhere.

I think anybody who has travelled and stayed in hotels for more than a week or so it’s just so grateful to have an actual homely environment they won’t mind at all

Honestly, this is such an extreme level of actual damage, I don’t think it’s a matter for shame. Anyone can have a burst pipe etc.

Arghhh. It just got worse. Contractors have now said they can't get here until next Thursday - god knows how wet the kitchen will be by then. Have given insurance Co a rocket and awaiting response.....

If water is continuing to leak out, you may need to shut off the stopcock and, yes, move out temporarily. What have the insurance company said?

If water is continuing to leak out, you may need to shut off the stopcock and, yes, move out temporarily. What have the insurance company said?

They're coming back to me but, yes, we may have to do that as it can't be left leaking like this.

no idea why you would get stressed about this tbh

They won't care

I don't understand the embarrassment aspect. I would be embarrassed if things were just generally a mess, but not if I had good reason for it ... like emergency repairs. I would find having visitors when everything is upside down very stressful though and would want to cancel for that reason.

I agree with pp's though - not wishing to stereotype, but we've had quite a few Australians stay over the years and they were, without exception, completely uninterested in the state of my house (and it's usually in a state ...!)

Insurance have confirmed they cannot get anyone here for a week. They suggest we try to get our own plumber but, if not, they will cover all water damage including any caused by the delay in them getting someone out. That's all well & good but I would rather avoid unnecessary damage! I asked if they would pay for alternative accommodation if we couldn't get a plumber and decided to turn off the water and move out. They said they'd consider it.

I get they're busy and it's a bad time of year for insurance claims, but I can't help feeling this is rubbish service. Nothing like the adverts!