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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to do something about this now? *** Trigger warning sexual abuse***

6 replies

Luckysdadsrules1 · 06/01/2023 01:24

I was sexually abused by a family member from the age of 13 to 18 after being groomed from the age of ten. Only when I got brave enough at 18 to get out of the situation did it stop when I felt brave enough to tell him that it had to stop it I would tell his wife. i didn’t report it at the time but did tell family who mostly didn’t believe me.

Essentially, this abuse has affected my whole life. I suffer from crippling health anxiety and PTSD. My ability to trust is non existent. Recently my mental health has got worse and I know it sounds bad (and possibly too late) but I want him to suffer like I have!

can I do anything about this now? Is it too late?

OP posts:
Mayameemamoe · 06/01/2023 01:25

It’s never too late to report historic events involving children.

Original poster
Luckysdadsrules1 · 06/01/2023 01:27

I don’t know if I could talk about it IRL. Would I report to the police?

OP posts:
BabyOnBoard90 · 06/01/2023 01:28

Never too late to report a crime.

But it's from your post how much time has passed? Like is there any evidence you've held onto that authorities can work with?

Murdoch1949 · 06/01/2023 02:49

You could start by talking to a specialist helpline for survivors of sexual abuse. By beginning to talk about it you will get an idea of whether you want to proceed with a police report. Even if it is decided that the police cannot proceed with a case, as a minimum they would talk to your abuser, making him aware that he has not got away with his crimes against you. It may be that there are other victims who have already come forward or your abuser may be in a position where he is in contact with other girls. Your taking this further may help not only yourself but others.

FromTheFront2theBack · 06/01/2023 04:27

Murdoch1949 · 06/01/2023 02:49

You could start by talking to a specialist helpline for survivors of sexual abuse. By beginning to talk about it you will get an idea of whether you want to proceed with a police report. Even if it is decided that the police cannot proceed with a case, as a minimum they would talk to your abuser, making him aware that he has not got away with his crimes against you. It may be that there are other victims who have already come forward or your abuser may be in a position where he is in contact with other girls. Your taking this further may help not only yourself but others.

This is great advice op. I definitely think the first step should be specialist advice. They can talk you through what would happen and the potential feelings it would bring up. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Andypandy799 · 06/01/2023 07:43

@Luckysdadsrules1 So sorry to hear about this terrible trauma. I recently passed the details on for an organisation who can help to a female friend of mine.

napac.org.uk/

Call our free, confidential support line:

0808 801 0331

Monday to Thursday: 10am – 9pm

Friday: 10am – 6pm

Saturday and Sunday – Closed

good luck in getting the support you need

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