To ask to stop giving presents to DS

[Itsnotalternateuniverses]

Hello. We have a 20 month old, soon to be two years old. We're very lucky in that people buy lots of gifts for him. The problem is that he has so much that he won't need anything for the foreseeable future. His birthday is in April, would it be unreasonable for us to ask family not to buy him a gift? If so, how do we do this without offending anyone?

Thank you.

People should ask you what you need- personally I think it’s a great chance to stock up on future clothes. Age 2-3/3-4 etc

What about suggesting tickets to local attraction. Our local aquarium has a years pass

Premium bonds are good and a way of saving

Deffo opt for experiences. Farm vouchers, soft play vouchers, cinema, train ride, toddler friendly theatre shows etc. things that they can potentially do with you to enjoy the experience too or even ( if you are up for it) take ds out themselves to give you a little me time.

They only need so much stuff before it gets unmanageable! Xx

I feel the same with my baby and thinking the same for his 2nd birthday.
I would just tell them thank you, but they don't need anything as they have so many things already. If they then insist or ask what you want then just tell them if there's something you need (or suggest a voucher).

Token gift and money in savings account? It's really hard not to gift a small child something to open on their birthday!

I think it's fine for a 2 year old who won't miss presents. If people want to give a little token they could give a book. People love to give and see the pleasure it gives. Asking for experiences is a fab idea and can suit every pocket.

Thanks everyone. This is just what I was thinking.

Good call, he will need a few quid for his first car or uni and if all wins are spent on more bonds, it is an effortless way of building up a nice little nest egg.

Money into a savings account or voucher for a play center or both ?

Set up a savings account. If anyone asks say that he doesn’t need anything right now but you’re saving a fund for when he’s older in case he’d like to go to university or set up a business or buy a car etc

a book

YANBU. I feel like this specifically for toys.

My DC is 7 months and has toys for 12m+ and even 3+. None of which she is interested in.

My sister bought a cuddly toy (DC already has like 8 teddy's etc) and I said thanks but asked for no more toys as DC doesn't play with them yet. Some weeks later she shows up with a 12m+ "educational toy".

Like the baby is 7 months, not even walking and more interested in our smartphones than the toys.

But I appreciate how ungrateful I sound.

@BabyOnBoard90 This is us! It was baby’s first Christmas and she got a stupid amount of toys.

I even made a gift list of presents (with the heading please don’t get anything 😂 but if you do baby would like…) and people still bought off list things like more teddies, more things that we don’t need (books for much older children etc ). We can’t cope with all these presents and have filled the two baskets we have for toys already.

I think I’ll just resell on local mums groups in future and buy the things baby is interested in instead. (Is that mean?)

It’s really a tough request. Family want to give.

you can ask for books. We have a savings fund going for university and family make contributions to that.

I find the easiest is to ask for are consumable art supplies. Crayons, markers, paint, paper. It lets people buy something at any price point and without worry of duplicates. It all gets used eventually and with very young children you don’t need to be too specific.

I'm sure etiquette varies according to how your friends and famiIy do things. But aside from that, I'd say giving any directives about gifts is not good etiquette. It's up to the giver to decide what gift they want to give, if any, and it's fun for them to pick out a gift they think a little kid would like.

I'd definitely suggest other options if I was asked though. Otherwise, I'd limit my involvement to what I did with the gifts after I received them. If you can't use a gift, you could try to return or exchange it, regift, save for when the child is older or donate. Just my opinion.

i used to keep a “rainy day” drawer into which I would put toys & books which were too advanced for DC or, were just too many to be played with at that time or going forward.

When DC was poorly or had been very very good, it was a reward system that DC could choose something from the Rainy Day drawer.

Worked really well and is still remembered with joy how much pleasure it gave DC to have the opportunity to choose something new.

Books! Mabye a book and a "event" (a afternoon with grandma, tickets to the zoo, mesueum ect)

How about asking for a donation to a charity? Adopt an animal or give a toy to a local food bank? That sort of thing is very popular around here.

All fantastic ideas, thank you. He just has so much in terms of books, toys, craft materials, musical instruments that he just doesn't need anything else.

I've tried no gifts, premier bonds, lists of things he needs, vouchers, money towards experiences, all ignored
I think people just like shopping for baby stuff rather than giving useful gifts. Ungrateful I know, but we have a tiny flat and I'm having to donate half of DS Xmas stuff as nowhere for it to go

Oh this drives me batty - I have 3 DC and we have SO MUCH STUFF. Every birthday and Christmas it’s just more and more. It gives me anxiety. I just siphon things off now and give them straight to charity. If you do it immediately the kids don’t notice as they forget all that they got. In my experience it doesn’t matter if you ask
people not to they just do it anyway.

I absolutely get where you’re coming from as I feel exactly the same. I’ve just figured now that people in my children’s lives want to give them gifts- I have tried to direct it/limit it, but they do what they do. We say thanks, and we give a lot away to charity. I genuinely am grateful to have people in our lives that love our kids, and I don’t want to offend anyone. I can only really control what we decide to keep, I say thanks for the gifts, that’s it.

Donate to kids less fortunate