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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset and angry about this

25 replies

Alwayshungryiam · 05/01/2023 15:55

Worked as a senior member (one below the head of department) of my department in the company I’m at now for 14 years and many more years in more junior roles in this department. Our head of department finally left this week after 23 years. Last year when they were recruiting for his role I put myself forward but no instead they’ve hired someone from outside the company with no where near as much experience as me and less qualifications. Really upset and angry as clearly they don’t value me enough to be head of department but picked someone younger with less experience (a lot less) and less qualifications.

OP posts:
EndlessRain1 · 05/01/2023 15:56

I guess they had their reasons, but that doesn't mean you aren't right that they don't value you. In your shoes I would probably look to move elsewhere....

Sirzy · 05/01/2023 15:58

Maybe they thought after so long fresh ideas were needed? With so little change in senior management maybe they didn’t want to risk stagnation?

ClangingBell · 05/01/2023 16:00

It’s much easier to get promoted by moving companies. It sounds like you’ve been there too long to bring anything new to them, but somewhere else you’d be the fresh outside person.

OrigamiOwls · 05/01/2023 16:02

Time to start looking elsewhere OP.

Idontevenknow · 05/01/2023 16:06

Have you asked for feedback? If you want to progress, you need to look elsewhere now

Onefootinthegroove · 05/01/2023 16:06

Did you ask for interview feedback? I did this in similar circumstances and was lucky to be sent the interview notes verbatim which showed that it was considered easier to bring in a new manager and leave me at asst Manager level to support than promote me and hire a new asst manager.
I left not long after.

Backtoreality1 · 05/01/2023 16:11

Move - its damn near impossible to get promoted inhouse when you have been there that long. You will get much better progression if you move on.

KathyCornwall · 05/01/2023 16:13

Did they interview you OP, and have they given feedback? It could be that person has specific skills which align to the operational goals, which doesn't necessarily present in terms of "years" of experience. See what the feedback gives you and then decide if there's a path to promotion or if your time is up with them.

Catspyjamas17 · 05/01/2023 16:14

Definitely move on.

I bet the only reason they've hired someone younger and less experienced is so they can pay them less.

BabyOnBoard90 · 05/01/2023 16:15

Use this as motivation to take your talents elsewhere where if you truly believe you're qualified and better for a more senior position.

Purplecatshopaholic · 05/01/2023 16:15

Defo ask for feedback. It’s time to move on - get the CV updated and start looking.

BabyOnBoard90 · 05/01/2023 16:16

YANBU. Civil unrest all over the world.

Edinburghmusing · 05/01/2023 16:16

Time in post doesn’t mean you’re the best for the job

Onefootinthegroove · 05/01/2023 16:16

BabyOnBoard90 · 05/01/2023 16:15

Use this as motivation to take your talents elsewhere where if you truly believe you're qualified and better for a more senior position.

This 100%.
As soon as I put in my notice I was approached by another division within the same company and basically head hunted.

Theunamedcat · 05/01/2023 16:17

Don't get stuck into mentoring them or supporting them if they valued you they woukd have given you the job

MaverickGooseGoose · 05/01/2023 16:17

Time to move. Loyalty doesn't get you anywhere, if you want promotion / payrise you need to move on.

EarringsandLipstick · 05/01/2023 16:23

Really upset and angry as clearly they don’t value me enough to be head of department

You can't be an experienced manager and be this naive?

Of course you will feel upset a d disappointed not to have been successful.

However 'angry' is inappropriate. The other candidate met their expectations better, and on the day, performed to a higher standard.

In general that's the case - of course sometimes it is a poor appointment or other factors are at play.

In terms of moving on, yes, you probably should consider this. Not in response to failing to get the promotion but practically speaking, it's unlikely a new promotion opportunity will arise soon, and it might be time for a new environment / role anyway.

Definitely get feedback. Though sometimes there isn't much they can say - I was in a somewhat similar disappointing position (tho for a temporary role, and I still enjoy my current one), didn't get job despite more experience. I was disappointed; I knew I'd done a good interview. I didn't get useful feedback - ultimately I had to accept they preferred the other candidate to me, which was hard but is just one of those things.

EarringsandLipstick · 05/01/2023 16:24

Catspyjamas17 · 05/01/2023 16:14

Definitely move on.

I bet the only reason they've hired someone younger and less experienced is so they can pay them less.

You've no idea if that's true. In my sector, this would be impossible.

Aprilx · 05/01/2023 16:30

You seem to equate age with experience with being the best person for the job. Maybe this person has higher quality experience and / or was appointed because of potential.

I could understand if you said you were disappointed, but I think you are being childish to say you are angry when you really don’t even know why they appointed somebody else. You seem to be dismissing as being inferior out of hand.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 05/01/2023 16:36

Sometimes it's not about experience. It's about shaking things up, making changes, being an inspiring leader. Doing a job really well doesnt always mean you will do another job really well. Even if you're reappy valued.

Silvers11 · 05/01/2023 16:43

As others have said, maybe time to think about moving on and I would definitely ask for feedback too as that might help

BUT I have seen others feel the way you do after being overlooked for promotion who are very bitter that someone 'younger and with less experience' get the promotions and they get knocked back for it every time and they don't see what others can see as to why they don't get the promotion. Age and length of time in a job does NOT automatically follow that they are the best person for the job and attending an interview with that attitude can actually mean that the person is so sure they are the best and they don't sell themselves the way they should at the Interview as a result, which doesn't help.

I don't know why you didn't get the promotion, but being 'angry' rather than 'disappointed' may be an indicator that you don't have the right skills, including how you react to certain situations for a higher position. I do think you need to ask for full feedback as to why you were not successful though and can then take things from there.

MRSDoos · 05/01/2023 16:56

This is a sign that it’s time to move on. I was at my previous job for 10 years and kept mentioning to the boss I was keen about taking over a certain job that I was easily capable of but instead they hired someone less experienced but paid them more. I left and earn 10K more a year.
It’s not the same for everyone of course but sometimes you get a bit forgotten about or become “part of the furniture” when you work somewhere for a while.

When I told them I was leaving they tried to offer me a payrise and put me above this new colleague! So I think sometimes they just undervalue you.

Maybe they wanted someone with fresh ideas but no idea

XmasElf10 · 05/01/2023 17:00

Leave, experience acquired outside a company always seems to be worth more than that gained inside the company. I left company A after 14 years with them and a similar passing over…. Did wonders for my career! The new company REALLY valued me, the old company just thought I was “steady”. I hadn’t changed!

Survey99 · 05/01/2023 17:14

You need to ask for feedback instead of getting angry. And be honest with yourself. You might be bloody good at your job but not shown the skills or self motivation they are looking for that step up.

Our head of department finally left this week after 23 years.

This makes it sound as though you have been waiting quietly in the wings for 14 years. Have you been comfortably stagnating for 14 years getting good at your day job, in your comfort zone, waiting for the opportunity or have you spent 14 years pushing for personal development, cross department secondments/experience, building up to and asking for key roles in challenging projects/people management.

Have you delivered transformation strategic change in your current senior role that has added value and shown you are ready for the step up. Have you over the last 14 years asked for a mentor, told them this role was your career goal and asked what you needed to do to get it and exceeded expectation in everything they asked?

It is possible they haven't seen this in you day to day, but the interviewee convinced them they they do have these skills. This is why people move, it is easier to convince someone you can do something in a couple of hours interview than what they see in you over 14 years!

Salome61 · 05/01/2023 17:21

So very sorry, it is very common. I hope you can ask to go on new training courses and progress your career internally.

My late husband had been at his company for twenty years and had worked his way up to Director when his MD was made redundant and his division restructured. He applied for the new MD post but wasn't interviewed for the job, he was fifty and it almost broke him.

A young graduate trainee my husband had recruited five years previously was given the job - but luckily my husband did like him, and just sucked it up. They were away together on business when his new 'boss' received the devastating news that his baby had died from a cot death. My husband was glad he was there to comfort him and drive him back safely, and he realised how lucky we were to have our two beautiful children at home waiting for him. He never put work first after that.

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