That visiting PIL once a week with DD is enough?

[FirstTime1308]

I visit my PIL who live 10 minutes away once a week during Monday - Friday. I have done this since baby was born.

MIL works from home so I try to work around her. FIL is retired. We then often see them on a weekend for a couple of hours.

Do you think this is enough?

I got to 2 baby classes a week and see my mum who is widowed twice during the week.

I want to keep everyone happy!

You go twice a week then, I think that's more than enough. And I think if you're doing this out of obligation rather than because you want to then you need to wind it down. You job isn't to keep everyone happy. It's to look after your child while not losing yourself in the process

They can always come and see you too OP ?

What do you WANT to do?

I wouldn't have done as much as this and I liked my MIL.

I do it because I want DD to have a good relationship with her GPS. Sometimes I have days where I can’t be bothered cos my social battery is low but I try my best

@ChangedmynameagainforChristmas they usually come to us on the weekend or out for food

@MrsTerryPratchett I love PIL, great RS with them, just worry if it’s not enough when I see my mum much more in the day. She is widowed though and she is my mum!

My DD lives 6 hours away and I am absolutely thrilled that she makes the effort to bring her baby to see us every couple of months. I think what you are doing is absolutely fine!

I don't get what the issue is. Are they asking for more time or?

@BabyOnBoard90 no issue but I was wondering what others thought and what they do 😊

Well, my child (7 months) hardly sees GrandPs, not my choice they just have no interest.

In an ideal world I would've loved to have had active actively engaged and involved grandparents for child. Would ease burden of childcare and also allow DC to be engaged with their senior lineage. But that's just not was written for us.

So I guess my view as often you /they like or is convenient.

@BabyOnBoard90 Sorry that your little one doesn’t see their GPs! They are the ones essentially missing out. They will realise one day I imagine, and it’ll be too late

Keep yourself happy first.

Once a week is plenty; they're not your own parents.

That more than enough.
its not unusual to visit your own family more than in laws is it.

There's no right or wrong answer here. If it's working for you, baby and PIL then there's no need to change anything.

FWIW I live at least 2 hours away from family so visits are usually every other month. If we lived closer then once during the week and occasionally on weekends seems reasonable to me, but I wouldn't want to feel tied.

What do you want to do? Having a baby is hard work and you should allow yourself some downtime to relax and stop trying to please everyone else all the time x

There's no right or wrong answer here.

Exactly. I know everything from never to every day. If your social battery is low, reschedule! That's OK.