To think changing primary school is disruptive

[Goldenperfume]

My husband disagrees with me and thinks children adjust very quickly. I’m not so sure.

Background is that the children start school this year. We will eventually have to move as we can’t afford a bigger place where we are right now but my husband wants to change jobs this year so it’s hard to move until that’s all sorted. He thinks we can easily move them in a year or two and people do this all the time.

I feel like this would be unsettling. We are looking at prep schools so an additional factor is passing assessments and getting a place for two children at the same school.

Other option is to move in temporarily with parents (who live close to where we want to be in the future)

We moved dd half way though year 1 (across the country) and will be moving area again sometime in year 6 probably (she’s year 4 now). No choice, we have to move. to a better place.

Luckily she’s very outgoing and easy going and makes friends easily and people just instantly like her.

My ds was had just finished first term of A levels when we had to quite abruptly move across the country (literally had 6 weeks from deciding to moving), and he was fine too.

I moved primary schools 3 times and I really wasn’t okay - but I was a bullied, anxious, depressed child with shit parents, so I wouldn’t have been okay anywhere.

It is definitely disruptive but depending on the children and school the disruption can be temporary and quite quick. It definitely depends though, in some areas, even private schools are massively oversubscribed so you'd have very little chance of getting two places at a decent school. I think past around year 4 friendship groups do become a little harder to break into to. Some kids are more sensitive and less resilient to change than others too. I do think the majority of children settle fairly quickly though as long as the school is friendly and supportive.

@Thepeopleversuswork

Thank you - it has given us food for thought about getting her the tools to handle the change to secondary school so that’s something we can prepare for.

it was a huge surprise to see such a change in her when she’d previously handled life changes easily. Parenting - endless surprises!

I think both statements are true.

My dc have had to change school.

Ds wasn’t too bothered. He was in reception so hadn’t had chance to really get a foot in and make friends. He adapted to the new school easily.

Dd on the other hand was in year 2 and had made close friends. She was quite upset and having to leave her friends behind and start a new school. I wish I could say her old friends and her kept in contact but no. However, she’s been settled in her new school for 3 years now (she’s year 5), and has made better friends. It took her a little while to truly settle in, but now she loves her school

We moved when dd was going into yr10. My Dh business was bought out and he took semi-retirement and we moved from the se to the sw. Dd had been bullied at her previous school so she needed to change schools for her benefit. She fitted into her new school easily and became a much happier child within weeks of starting her new school.

Every child reacts differently to changing schools and a lot of that is down to how the schools handle it.

When we moved we expected my eldest DD to struggle as she is quite an anxious child. We managed to time the move so she was changing from Infants to Juniors so there was always going to be a change. The school were brilliant and gave her a personal tour of the school by the headteacher and her class teacher before they started as she wasn't coming from a feeder school. They really looked after her and she settled really well with only a few minor issues.

We thought my younger DD would be fine as she is very outgoing and makes friends everywhere. Unfortunately we did not get the linked infant school for her that we wanted but were allocated a place at another school. On paper its a fab school and seemed like it should be great but she absolutely hated it. Her whole personality changed as she was so unhappy. The school were not great at helping her settle although they said all the right things. Thankfully a space came up at our preferred school and we transferred her (does mean 3 schools by age 6) and they have been amazing at getting her settled and looking after her. The change in her was almost instant. She loves school again, has made so many friends and is her bubbly outgoing self again.

Ok seems like quite a mixed bag but generally most people think it’s not too bad to move when they’re young. That’s good to know.

I think the other key thing that a previous poster touched on was whether the schools we want would even have places down the road for two. They are already quite full so I’m not optimistic they would get a place if we applied later. If that happened then we would either have to go for a school we don’t like as much or stay in this house for another 7/8 years, neither of those are appealing prospects!

I went to 8 different schools in 3 countries and don't believe I have suffered any trauma from this

They are already quite full so I’m not optimistic they would get a place if we applied later. If that happened then we would either have to go for a school we don’t like as much or stay in this house for another 7/8 years, neither of those are appealing prospects!
If that’s the case then I’d move to your parents early. Disruption wouldn’t even come into it.

Our children chaged PS at ages 9 and 10 ( to avoid a second year with a rabid evangelist/racist teacher) and again at 6, 10 and 11 (housemove). They coped absolutely fine both times. As a teacher, I regarded their extended school and social experience as an advantage they benefited from.

We moved our two sons in primary (long story) best decision ever, they made friends in new school that are still besties with them many years on, despite going to different secondary schools ... they were 8 and 10 when we moved them, I would not worry about it