Rant - school kids

[Nonsense12]

My DD (in Reception) has this friend, let's call her Maya. We've known Maya since they were in nursery at the same school. We had several playdates and we became friends with the family.

After helping with the nursery several times I realised that Maya is very disruptive, doesn't like following routines, doesn't sit down and generally hard to deal with. Maya's parents pushed for Maya to be in the same class with DD which has happened. I wasn't very happy about it as I thought Maya will be a bad influence on DD.

They started school and it's clear Maya has struggled. She often says to her parents she doesn't want to go to school, she cries in the morning and DD told me Maya is often sent in time out by the teachers. DD is very well behaved and hasn't been impacted negatively.

This morning Maya's mum contacted me to tell me that Maya didn't want to go to school today as yesterday DD told Maya that she doesn't like school and so Maya was very upset this morning, cried and didn't want to go because of what DD said.

I'm gobsmacked that she would contact me about it. Kids say a lot of crap in the playground and DD may well have said it, but to make me feel guilty about what DD said the impact it had on Maya it's weird. She asked me if DD was OK going to school and I said yes, she couldn't wait to go. Then I told her, yes, DD sometimes says she doesn't like school as she doesn't have nice teachers, but she's happy to go and happy when she comes out. She said: oops! (That she diesnt doesnt like school,). And that was it.

AIBU to think it's weird to contact a parent about this? Especially with Maya having such history of struggling at school.
Is this what I should expect from now on from other kids' parents?

If you're friends, I would read that message as asking whether what Maya said was true, and then just saying "oops" like "ah bugger". Not as in blaming anyone.

I think you need to go a little easier on her friend, they're very little and the roles may well reverse at some point.

Seems a bit OTT to step back over one text comment. Possibly she was wondering if you were facing the same issues she was with Miya. Hoping to have someone relate to what she’s managing.

The message was a bit odd, but I think if nothing else is said then the text is one thing of nothing.

I think she was looking for solidarity "our kids not wanting to go in", either to discuss the school, or to discuss some specific issue, or to discuss strategies.

Before they started school in Sept they kept motivating Maya by saying her friend (DD) will be there with her and how fun it was going to be. Felt like they used DD as a crutch.

This is a perfectly normal thing to say to a child who is nervous about going to school. You are way too over invested in this, as if you are worried that your DD will "catch" something from Maya.

It's quite clear from your posts that you think Maya's struggles are down to crap parenting, I can assure you they aren't.