To dislike the assumption that all women over 30 will be having children soon

[Cheeeeeeese]

Have been asking when I'm 'having children', not if I wanted them, just when I'll be having them.

I was out with some friends recently, one who has a baby and one who's recently married. The mother looked at the newlywed one and said "It's your turn next." 🙄 friend has never expressed wanting any.

Does anyone else find this, that it's just assumed? I don't want any and i tell people this, don't expect to have to justify why either. We don't ask people to justify why they do want children. You

Sorry ignore the random 'you' at the end

Yes it's annoying and rude for people to make such an assumption.

I agree with you, it's just as valid a decision not to have children but we're stuck with the idea that everyone wants them. It's also inappropriate to bring it up because you don't know know the circumstances and whether or not there are fertility issues etc.
I

Nobody cares if you have DC. They are just making conversation. Just ignore or tell them you don't want DC. I'm sure you do things that they could choose to be offended by sometimes.

Yes I agree about circumstances you're not always aware of.
I dislike how we're expected to justify why.
Not everyone wants it, just like I don't want to live in X country, don't want to do X job, and so on.

I'm sure I do but this isn't what the thread's about. You can make conversation without making assumptions, there are different ways of asking, e.g. 'Do you want children?'

It’s rude. I have a DC but would never assume that others want children unless they’d mentioned it. Or they might want children but be having problems conceiving.

When my DC was a few months old my window cleaner informed me that “the next one would be along soon”. Bizarre.

I am currently 8.5months pregnant but I had an early miscarriage in September 2021. It took 8 months after this to fall pregnant again.
I used to avoid going to family events after this as I got so fed up of people asking me when I would be having a baby.
DH and I met friends for lunch earlier this year and I’ve since found out he texted one of the friends asking her not to ask me about babies because I will not want to discuss it (incidentally I was pregnant and found out the next day).
I would never ask anyone questions of this nature unless they brought it up first.

Yeah, it's very, very annoying on a personal level (and on a bigger level, a bit depressing that we still think it's anyone's business what women choose to do with their lives or that we assume motherhood is an automatic).

I've just started saying "CHRIST no" and people tend not to elaborate after that, haha.

It's rude and intrusive and can be very painful. People should mind their own business. They don't though!

It's even worse when you have one and people say
Oh they cant be an only child
They'll be spoilt
When are you having another!!

I got this when my first was a baby!!

Just totally insensitive
We were planning more but it's nobody else's business

I wish we were able to just say "It's none of your business."

It's rude. I went through many years of infertility and being on the receiving end of this.

I don't ever ask anyone what their family plans are. I will only engage in a conversation they started on the topic

Yeah it's ignorant. I don't think it's malicious the majority of the time but it's tone deaf.

I soemtimes go with “that’s a very personal question?” 😁

Just wait til there's a family funeral and say the same to her....

Joking of course!