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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I kidding myself about my weight problem?

151 replies

gainingweight · 05/01/2023 00:30

I’m really not sure what to think about this

i started gaining weight out of nowhere despite no diet or health changes - I think it started around 9mo ago but I only noticed it around 5/6mo ago and have been trying to lose weight on and off since then

I don’t look noticeably heavier and I don’t have any obvious heavy lumps or areas that would account for the new weight. My thighs are slightly bigger but not hugely and I’m still wearing the same size of leggings albeit slightly tighter but they still fit. I’ve gained around 1.5-2 stone since this started 9 ish months ago.

I’m trying to lose weight and am eating healthily and am in a calorie deficit everyday (calculated by my BMR and BMI). I’m exercising everyday too. I’ve gained 3 lbs in the last week despite being in a 400 calorie deficit per day, even over Hogmanay and xmas. I’m measuring my weight at the same time each day, obviously it fluctuates throughout the day but my weight gain each day is consistent even between time fluctuations. I’m drinking the same amount of water each day (measured so I know the amount).

am I missing something in this dieting thing? Or am I making some mistake, or is there a reason I might be gaining weight like this? Just slightly frustrated and miserable about it all. I’m also not on any meds including contraception pills, I’m not near menopause or even peri menopause age, and I had a blood test 10 months ago but unrelated thing and everything was normal.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 05/01/2023 00:32

I’m also not on any meds including contraception pills, I’m not near menopause or even peri menopause age

Done a pregnancy test?

gainingweight · 05/01/2023 00:35

NoSquirrels · 05/01/2023 00:32

I’m also not on any meds including contraception pills, I’m not near menopause or even peri menopause age

Done a pregnancy test?

I actually haven’t had sex in well over a year, but I did a pregnancy test just in case so I wouldn’t have to worry about it, haha, it was negative thankfully.

OP posts:
workshy46 · 05/01/2023 00:36

How many calories are you eating each day and how old are you?

GriddleScone · 05/01/2023 00:37

What kind of blood test? Did they check thyroid function?

Potatomashed · 05/01/2023 00:38

Get your thyroid checked and see a doctor

Jourdain11 · 05/01/2023 00:38

Do you think you could be underestimating your calories? If your portions are bigger or more calorific than you think, you may not actually be in calorie deficit even though you think you are.

dicker · 05/01/2023 00:38

gainingweight · 05/01/2023 00:35

I actually haven’t had sex in well over a year, but I did a pregnancy test just in case so I wouldn’t have to worry about it, haha, it was negative thankfully.

why on earth did you do a pregnancy test if you haven’t had sex for over a year?!

MintJulia · 05/01/2023 00:40

Thyroid?
What sort of foods do you eat?
How much alcohol?
Have you given up smoking recently?
How much exercise do you do a week?

Have you talked to your gp? If you really are in calorie deficit then there may be a medical reason, and needs checking.

gainingweight · 05/01/2023 00:42

GriddleScone · 05/01/2023 00:37

What kind of blood test? Did they check thyroid function?

I actually don’t know exactly- a full one I believe.

previously before wall this, at the beginning of last year (January 2022), I went through a time of passing black stool (several times over the course of a few days) and had multiple blood tests but other than being slightly anaemic they were all absolutely fine. I had a camera in my stomach and also a sigmoidoscopy and we never found a cause other than IBS which I already knew I had. That was before the weight gain started, but then I had blood tests for a few months afterwards (which takes me up to when the weight gain started) just to keep checking things. It was those blood tests I mean but I don’t know what they were for other than they were all normal. I don’t think thyroid would have been included because it was totally separate to that as far as I know

OP posts:
gainingweight · 05/01/2023 00:48

dicker · 05/01/2023 00:38

why on earth did you do a pregnancy test if you haven’t had sex for over a year?!

i mean, does it really matter? I was worried I had my dates mixed up or somehow wrong, besides when I did the pregnancy test it was probably less than a year. I suppose I started panicking and for the sake of 10 quid I get better

OP posts:
gainingweight · 05/01/2023 00:55

MintJulia · 05/01/2023 00:40

Thyroid?
What sort of foods do you eat?
How much alcohol?
Have you given up smoking recently?
How much exercise do you do a week?

Have you talked to your gp? If you really are in calorie deficit then there may be a medical reason, and needs checking.

I’ll try and answer in order apologies if it’s too long

  1. fine AFAIK, I’ve never had any other problems with it. I don’t think the blood test checked that specifically though so I don’t know for sure
  2. Meat, fish, brown/wheat bread, fruit, vegetables, I do eat things like choc and treats in moderation. I usually eat hearty type dinners - meat, fish, potatoes, veg, that sort of thing. I count calories strictly though, down to things like oil and weighing butter. I just have a very normal diet
  3. I don’t drink alcohol very often, I’ve had one alcoholic drink in the last year. I don’t really like it to be honest
  4. no I’ve never smoked at all, I’ve never even tried it
  5. i do a mixture of running and cycling and general fitness and cardio workouts. I exercise most days but I haven’t upped it or done anything to gain bulk or muscle recently, and I don’t have any notible difference (I haven’t suddenly gained abs or core muscles IYSWIM)a I walk my dog 3 times everyday as well on top.
  6. no I haven’t talked to them, I thought I might be missing something and doing something wrong and I just couldn’t wrap my head around it or how it’s possible to be still gaining weight
OP posts:
gainingweight · 05/01/2023 00:57

Jourdain11 · 05/01/2023 00:38

Do you think you could be underestimating your calories? If your portions are bigger or more calorific than you think, you may not actually be in calorie deficit even though you think you are.

I did think that at first but I’ve been really strict with it- logging absolutely everything, weighing everything I eat down to oil to cook things and butter on bread, and I’ve logged everything and weight out my portions

OP posts:
gainingweight · 05/01/2023 01:02

workshy46 · 05/01/2023 00:36

How many calories are you eating each day and how old are you?

My BMR is just under 1600 calories a day (so if I didn’t get up from my bed all day and did absolutely nothing other than breathing)

for days with very little exercise (just normal walking about at work etc) it’s around 1700-1800, and I base how many calories I’m going to need by calculating how much exercise I’ll do IYSWIM, then I work out a deficit from that x

OP posts:
saltinesandcoffeecups · 05/01/2023 01:02

gainingweight · 05/01/2023 00:57

I did think that at first but I’ve been really strict with it- logging absolutely everything, weighing everything I eat down to oil to cook things and butter on bread, and I’ve logged everything and weight out my portions

Keep doing this and give it another week or two. I found water retention could really mess up weight gain/loss on any random day.

gainingweight · 05/01/2023 01:06

saltinesandcoffeecups · 05/01/2023 01:02

Keep doing this and give it another week or two. I found water retention could really mess up weight gain/loss on any random day.

Thanks. How long did you take to start seeing results?

ive been trying to lose weight for approximately 5/6 mo (I say on and off because I had cheat days and days where I was unwell and my diet had to change temporarily IYSWIM) but the last week in particular really surprised me because I really expected to lose weight, not gain it 😞 how long did it take you to start noticing the difference and for water retention to stop affecting it? Just wondering if im looking for solutions too soon and need to be more patient x

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 05/01/2023 01:15

Previous health issues coupled with mysterious weight gain .... I would be back at the doctors. The problem you may have is that mysterious weight loss is taken seriously but weight gain isnt, so take your diaries with you and keep going back.

It could be you a underestimating but it doesnt sound like it.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 05/01/2023 01:24

I was a little a different in that I didn’t start off trying to lose weight, but did start exercising daily. Then I started really paying attention to calories and logging.

I spent some time on my fitness pal, and they were pretty good in the forums. Generally speaking the main advice is, if your not losing you’re not being accurate with your calories or exercise. I found this to be true personally.

Cheat days and general blow off days can scupper your progress for the week pretty quietly and effectively. I usually averaged my calories for the week. And for my weight, activity level, and goal I was trying to average 1400-1450 calories a day. I was generally successful and lost about to 50-60 pounds. I’ve gained a bit back as I’ve figured out my maintenance levels but still well under where I started.

mackthepony · 05/01/2023 01:31

How old are you? It doesn't get easier as we age

😒😒

saltinesandcoffeecups · 05/01/2023 01:33

I’m 47 if that gives context

PyongyangKipperbang · 05/01/2023 01:34

mackthepony · 05/01/2023 01:31

How old are you? It doesn't get easier as we age

😒😒

It doesnt but it shouldnt be that much. I read an article from a Dr that said that women over 40's will on average gain half a lb a year with no changes. The OP has put on nearly 2 stone....something isnt right.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 05/01/2023 01:37

I will say I’m not trying to come off as a know it all. I think every person needs to figure out what works for them. As long as it doesn’t start veering into disorder behavior, give some thing a try and see what sticks… some swear by intermittent fasting, others by strict calorie restriction.

Hell I ate a lot of fast food when I was doing the calorie thing, because it was easier for me to figure out the calories!

My biggest piece of advice is don’t beat yourself up along the way.

2023goals · 05/01/2023 01:41

I was contemplating writing a post like this today. I’m going through similar although mine is just due to a yo-yo diet and less exercise. Since WFH, I’ve noticed that my body has a low tolerance for food if I’m not getting a 30 minute walk in. If I eat my BMR of 1200 calories, I will actually put on weight. So if I’m staying in the house and working from home, I need to eat much less than is recommended for my height/weight to account for my new lifestyle.

ChildcareIsBroken · 05/01/2023 01:42

It really sounds like you need to go back to GP. 2 stones in 9 months, 6 of which on a diet, sounds like something is not right.
My first thought is to check thyroid but I'm not a doctor.

HappyAsASandboy · 05/01/2023 01:43

The only bit of your post that stood out for me was that you work out your calorie limit including any exercise you are going to do.

I have never been able to lose weight if I factor exercise into the calorie deficit calculation. I am sure it's different if you're running 20k each day, but a swim/5k run/class isn't going to make much difference to your calorie burn (though is really important to health/tone and so still important!).

Try leaving exercise out of the deficit calculations and see what happens. I'd expect to see a weight loss within a month if exercise is extra to the calorie counting.

My mantra is that diet and exercise are two separate things, and exercise doesn't have any impact on my weight.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 05/01/2023 01:44

The WFH thing is no joke. I managed to screw up my back/glutes really good about a year ago and even with PT I’m just coming out the other side. I’m hoping I can start rowing again as this was my exercise… I truly detest and will not any other form.

I’m just happy the work travel stopped, 3 years of 25% travel is what got my weight out of control.