AIBU to go to Paris

[Animallover87]

First baby due early August.

DH is 40 early November.

AIBU to book a surprise 2 nights in Paris for his birthday?

My mum will have (bottle fed) baby. We'll be away less than 48 hours.

He always does lovely things for my birthdays so tempted to go for it ...

Sorry don't know why it's so spaced!

I would see how you feel after the baby is born especially as it’s your first. I personally think it’s a bit soon.

Personally I wouldn't, 4 months was way too soon to leave my DD, you're still very much bedding in to being a parent at that stage.

DS1 - impossible to leave him at that age for medical reasons (concerning him)

DS2 - I had medical problems following the birth so travel would have been very difficult even 3 montha after the birth.

You just don't know. Don't book anything that can't be fully reimbursed unless you're prepared to lose the money.

Yes do it but take baby with you? Babies are easier to travel with than older children so it’s nice - Eurostar to Paris so you can roll the buggy straight on is a nice option (we did similar to Brussels after our first)

It’s a nice idea but as others have said it’s hard to know how you’ll feel, maybe you could take him sometime in 2024 instead just to be sure?

I wouldn’t - i didn’t want to be separated from my baby (as in I didn’t even want to be in a different room) until they were about a year. Plenty of mums feel completely differently and it might be fine - but personally I could not have enjoyed going away without them. Or take the baby! Babies are mega portable!

Any chance you could ‘gift’ him the trip to be booked and used at a later date?

It's a lovely idea but you might feel quite stressed at the thought when it comes round. What about booking a (Flexi) night away at a very very posh spa hotel? Then if you get there and don't want to yet you can put it off, or at least it isn't as far away.

Im not sure you can plan for how you’ll feel when you’ve had your baby. You might feel like breastfeeding when it comes to it?

At 3 or 4 months old I'd have hated being apart from my baby for 2 days. But you can't really know how you'd feel until your baby arrives, which doesn't help with booking in advance. Would you be able to cancel or postpone if you found you'd rather not be away for that amount of time?

Also, there is a small chance of ongoing birth related issues that you might still be dealing with, either for you or for baby. Hopefully not, but still a slight possibility.

Also as others have said, my dc1 was very sick as a baby and couldn’t have been left with anyone else. In and out of hospital.

You must be v early pregnancy if baby due August, so can’t know if there are any issues.

With dc2 i was happily able to leave him at 5 months, albeit with his dad (at that time my husband), whilst I went to a family wedding abroad with dc1. He was mixed fed. Just depends!

Go for it! I’d actually hold off a few weeks until it became all festive.

Does it have to be then? Can’t you book it for Spring and give him a ticket of some sort- November is not a brilliant time to visit anyway. Personally I would have found it very difficult to leave any of my kids overnight that soon- TBH I just wouldn’t have enjoyed the holiday that much because of it.

Maybe 1 night in Uk for his birthday then a 2 night stay in Paris when you're both up for it after baby is born? Will be a lot of pressure on you when you're all still getting used to each being a family. You may also not yet be feeling up to sexy times for a romantic break if you've had a lot of intervention during birth.

As an aside (and I don't want to start a debate here) but I was adamant I was going to bottlefeed and quite vocal about it. I ended up breastfeeding both kids for a year as so much changed once I met the baby.

I’d wait till after baby is born to book it and see how you feel. Or book something you get free cancellation on in case you change your mind… we stayed away for 1 night when our baby was the same age but you won’t know if you are comfortable until they are here.

I would think that would be too soon. Also Paris is best in the spring, it’s wet and freezing in the winter! I’d book it for next spring as his present.

It could be doable but I don’t think you can be sure it’s right until the baby is actually here. I would wait and see how you feel in September.

I'd do it, it's only 2days.

See how you feel in august - it’s only Paris, you can book late. You may decide to breastfeed.

Thanks everyone. I suppose I just can't imagine how I'll feel about someone I haven't even met yet.

Now looking at one night spa Break in the UK.

I wouldn't have left mine overnight at that age, especially not to leave the country. Maybe the following springtime.

At that age, my first baby was waking up several times a night, so that's a big ask for your mum to deal with. Also, I bled for 6-8 weeks after the birth. So all in all, no I wouldn't have left him for even one night, let alone two. He was about 18 months before he spent a night with my mum.