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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To learn to drive in manual.. lecturing DP

160 replies

Pinkflamingogo · 04/01/2023 17:54

I'm learning to drive and have chosen to learn in a manual car. I have my first lesson this evening.

DP (who doesn't drive btw) has gone on and on on about how automatic is better, how manual cars will soon be a thing of the past etc.

I was obviously struggling to hide the fact I was getting annoyed by it as he became defensive and said he just wouldn't say anything and stormed off.

I know IANBU to learn in manual but would you find his incessant droning on and on about how automatic is better, annoying?

OP posts:
illiterato · 04/01/2023 18:27

I have to say if I was learning now I probably wouldn’t bother with manual as they will die out as virtually all electric cars are automatics and I’d never choose to drive a manual as such a ball ache in traffic. I’d always be happy to pay the automatic premium. However, it’s still none of his business. Up to you and it does give you more flexibility.

58percent · 04/01/2023 18:27

Defo stick with manual. It took me 4 attempts to pass my test and I was nearly tempted to jack it in and just do automatic only but I'm so glad I didn't! Firstly, automatic cars are (second hand) harder to find/buy plus you're quite limited with hire cars and as others have said,

OnlyFannys · 04/01/2023 18:28

Totally up to you and manual gives you more options. I chose to drive auto in the end because I was having a horrible time trying to learn manual so much so that I was having pani attacks before my lessons. I decided a few years later to try for just auto and learnt to drive and passed my test in under 2 months so it was obviously the right choice for me but if I had more confidence I would have gone for manual

NCForQuestions · 04/01/2023 18:29

Automatic is not better, it's just different. My Dad wouldn't let me get an automatic licence and made me do my manual and he was right. I can drive anything that suits me and frequently flit between both for work purposes.

A manual licence is definitely freeing. You can still opt to drive automatic cars after you pass.

Whatthediddlyfeck · 04/01/2023 18:29

Until he has a full driving license he doesn’t get an opinion!

Hotpinkangel19 · 04/01/2023 18:29

Oblomov22 · 04/01/2023 18:27

I deliberately taught ds1 in a manual. I think it's an important skill. Dh and I both drive automatics now, but did drive manuals until recently. I'll teach ds2 in a manual aswell. My choice.

Isn't it your DS's choice?

TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 04/01/2023 18:29

What makes him the expert, this non-driving man?
He's male and therefore an expert. Naturally?

Oakbeam · 04/01/2023 18:30

It’s only in the UK that manuals are still in such widespread use

Are you sure about that? According to this 2020 article, 80% of the cars sold in Europe have manual gearboxes.

The current percentage is likely to be lower, but I doubt the rest of Europe have completely ditched manual cars since.

58percent · 04/01/2023 18:31

...and as others have said, if you ever need to borrow a car or do a favour for a friend who has a manual, you're snookered. Just recently one of my friends was on holiday and her car got broken into/damaged. She'd left her keys with her housemate so I was able to take her car to the garage and get it secured/fixed before she got back. Simple things like that...manual gives you loads more possibilities.

Spectre8 · 04/01/2023 18:31

I once had an automatic car whilst my manual was being repaired, ir was a company car so had no choice. Fuck no never again. Where is the fun in driving and changing up and down gears.

So glad to get my manual back!

takealettermsjones · 04/01/2023 18:31

Mansplainer. Ask him if he's planning to advise you on proper use of a tampon next. 🙄

Tunnocks2022 · 04/01/2023 18:33

I think you should do exactly what you want to do, and I only ever drive an automatic.

By the time my DC learn I suspect they’ll be no point learning manual. But right now it would give you more flexibility as previous posters have said

illiterato · 04/01/2023 18:33

I guess the counter argument is that it takes longer to learn to drive a manual and therefore costs more in lessons. If you don’t think you’ll ever drive a manual other than in unforeseeable situations, you need to weigh that .

DomesticShortHair · 04/01/2023 18:36

Hotpinkangel19 · 04/01/2023 18:29

Isn't it your DS's choice?

Show quote history

Surely it’s the DS’s choice whether they wants to lean in an automatic or a manual? And its equally @Oblomov22‘s choice as to what type of car they are prepared to teach their DS. If that doesn’t align with the DS’s choice, then they’ll be getting taught by someone else.

Oakbeam · 04/01/2023 18:37

Where is the fun in driving and changing up and down gears.

Exactly. Which is why I prefer autos.

lobsterkiller · 04/01/2023 18:38

What does he know about it?

Learn in the manual, you won't regret it. I drive manual but if I'm doing very long journeys I like automatic as I personally find it less tiring.

Please don't Learn in automatic, its restrictive and (I think) automatic cars are dearer.

Summerfun54321 · 04/01/2023 18:42

How are you going to drive your £300k vintage classic car when you're super rich and successful if you can only drive an automatic?

Oblomov22 · 04/01/2023 18:43

@Hotpinkangel19
Well both. But I'd suggest / recommend manual.
Like @DomesticShortHair says (thank you) he has a choice! Wink

We (Dh then me) practically taught ds1, then he had a few lessons. Worked nicely.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 04/01/2023 18:43

He stomped off saying he just wouldn't say anything then?

Of course he shouldn't.

  1. He can't drive.
  2. You are the one who decides what she will and will not learn in

Is he always an Instant Expert?

illiterato · 04/01/2023 18:44

Oakbeam · 04/01/2023 18:37

Where is the fun in driving and changing up and down gears.

Exactly. Which is why I prefer autos.

I do understand why petrol heads like the manual experience but given the op is only learning to drive now she’s probably not one 🤣 Also unless you live somewhere where you get a lot of clear tarmac, the downsides of having to constantly change gears in town outweigh the joy of a manual Porsche on a clear country road.

illiterato · 04/01/2023 18:44

Summerfun54321 · 04/01/2023 18:42

How are you going to drive your £300k vintage classic car when you're super rich and successful if you can only drive an automatic?

It’s fine- my driver has a manual license 🤣

ArtixLynx · 04/01/2023 18:47

yanbu. Always learn manual, leaves your options open in future.

i have two cars, one of each, and i LOVE driving my manual, its a thrill (and i go racing sometimes) but i also have a disability and some days, driving it hurts and i'm unable to safely change gear, so i take the automatic and whizz around quite happily in that, my only gripe is that in an auto, when i put my foot down its not as responsive if i need a sudden burst of speed... but i'm sure there are models out there where that isn't an issue.

SamphirethePogoingStickerist · 04/01/2023 18:48

illiterato · 04/01/2023 18:44

I do understand why petrol heads like the manual experience but given the op is only learning to drive now she’s probably not one 🤣 Also unless you live somewhere where you get a lot of clear tarmac, the downsides of having to constantly change gears in town outweigh the joy of a manual Porsche on a clear country road.

Show quote history

I have driven an automatic around Stroud and Forest of Dean. Never again. Waiting for it to catch up with the change in road inclination was bloody awful. It's not a matter of being a 'petrol head'.

Yarrawonga · 04/01/2023 18:49

How are you going to drive your £300k vintage classic car

We have a manual classic car (not worth £300k) and you need to double declutch to change gear. My manual driving lessons didn’t teach me that.