To ask for ADHD classroom experience from the other side

[Nimbostratus100]

More specific than other threads currently running

If you have ADHD, please tell me what helped you most at school

Secondary teacher off sick here, just pondering returning to work some time this year.

I do my best for my students with ADHD, but always wonder if there is something I could do better. Of course everyone is different, and what works for one student might not work for another. And I suppose I am most likely to get a female perspective here, which might be very different to the male one. But any mums to sons with ADHD, insights very welcome!

But imagine yourself back to sitting in front of me in a secondary classroom as a young teen

Please describe what you would most want from me.

Thank you

Would an earlier diagnosis have helped you?

Mum of ADHD boy here. Also potentially have ADHD myself as I'm a carbon copy of him.

One important thing to remember is that children are frequently emotionally behind their peers by a few years. So they won't necessarily react to things like you would expect and might still behave like a primary school child would at times. This might mean that they have a few problems with friendships at times and they often connect better with younger children than their peers.

Shame is quite a big part of ADHD for lots of people. They struggle to remember everything they need to have or do (which is as frustrating to them as it is to their parents/teachers!), they will often feel ashamed of this so might lie to cover up. If my DS has made a mistake he gets very defensive and if told off for it he will often get really angry. So the calmer you can be the better for them.

As someone mentioned above, they will have had many, many more negative interactions with parents/teachers over the years, so anything you can do to build their confidence in themselves will have you remembered by them as an excellent teacher for years.

@Nimbostratus100

Honestly, I just don’t know if it would have or not. I don’t think it would have helped me to feel less trapped. I’ve impulsively left many jobs in an abrupt and similar fashion. The only difference now is because I have more awareness I am able to pick jobs whereby I am out and about on the move in the community. I cannot be confined, so school would never have worked out for me. (I’ve since done an OU degree and I’m doing alright for myself).

This is very interesting and informative for me

Please can you tell me a bit more about your experience, if you dont mind.

What was school sport like? Was it helpful to you? Could it have been more helpful to you? How about music, drama, science? How did these subjects contribute to your welfare and educational outcomes? How could they have helped more? Or was there absolutly nothing anyone could have done to improve your school experience?

Thank you for your input

A better understanding of the challenges girls face. It's crippling at times. The emotional immaturity is a big issue too.

I can only talk about me personally and I'm now middle aged!

But I need structure so I need it laid out at the beginning what the lesson will cover and then going back to that throughout as you get to each bit. Like an agenda in a meeting. That's because I can't focus through it all so it helps me to know what's coming and to be aware which bit we are up to. Then I can sort of half catch up to where we are when I switch back on! I hope that makes sense.

I also can't remember anything for long so as a previous poster said giving out afterwards a sheet saying what we covered and what future expectations are is really helpful.

Switching up styles helps me so some story telling, some discussion, some audio/visual.

Also though be aware that no one technique works permanently. A new system of organising myself will work for a few weeks or maybe a month but then I need to change again to something new.

Oh and I also found it hard to ask questions because I would never know what I'd missed when I wasn't listening and I didn't want to ask something if it had just been explained. Not sure how you get around that but maybe just some understanding that you might be asked about stuff you have literally just said!

@Nimbostratus100

I guess looking back teachers did try to accommodate me (and this was without a diagnosis). One teacher said she just couldn’t work me out but I wasn’t rude or disruptive and I would have great conversations with them so I think this added to their frustration.

One moment I would be discussing the meaning of life with my RE teacher and the next I would be pegging it down the road to escape.

PE was good but if I didn’t like what was on offer I wouldn’t do it. For example girls football. Hated it, so I would ask my teacher if I could do laps instead around the court on my own. She would always agree as I always offered an alternative (which was probably quite enlightening as some girls just refused to do anything full stop). I always wanted to do something though but again it had to be on my terms and something I enjoyed.

Music - loved it and excelled in it. Had a good singing voice and I played the guitar to a high standard. I loved drama too and I was very confident. No problem attending those lessons as that was my time to shine. 😂

Science - Was okay on the practical lessons but anything that demanded me to sit for a while would have me escaping and sharpish.

maths - utter disaster. I’ve since been diagnosed with dyscalculia from an Ed psych that I had access too via work. This lesson was pure hell. Rarely attended.

English - rarely went although I was a good writer and showed a lot of potential. I was just really bored in these lessons and would stare out the window day dreaming.

Welfare - I think this is a big one. There were no pastoral staff when I was at school and my tutor wasn’t really the best to be honest. He was always exasperated with me due to being late most days. I think now in this day and age I would have been on someone’s radar. I mean if you have a child who is bright, not disruptive but keeps escaping from school on a very regular basis I think it would most certainly be an issue to someone. I guess this might have helped me. I might have been able to reflect on some of my behaviours and understand that they were detrimental to my long term educational outcomes. Maybe if I had the urge to escape I could have gone somewhere in the school to speak to someone?

I'm a TA but I'm also the parent of a neurodivergent teen.

Being very clear and unambiguous with instructions helps a lot. At work I will quantify everything so my pupils know exactly how much to do. For example, "write a paragraph on <subject>..." how long is a paragraph exactly, how detailed, how many words, if your writing is big then two sentences could take up the same space as a paragraph but if it's small then you'd need to write more to get a paragraph, and then it's all a bit overwhelming. I tell them they need to write (e.g.) five sentences, one as an introduction, three descriptors, and then the final one as a conclusion. I check in during this to see how it's going and to keep them on track.

Allow extra time for processing.

Don't presume fidgeting means not listening and looking at you/the board equals listening, it can very often be the opposite. I know with my teen that the more intently he's fidgeting, the more he is listening, it's like his concentration is linked to his ability to move. If he's looking at my face, still and silent and appearing focused then I can guarantee he's not listening at all and mentally is 10,000 miles away.

Not ADHD AFAIK, but many traits.

We had some "Pens down!" teachers. 90% of the time I did poorly in those lessons. Especially if they were lecture format, rather than highly interactive. Lessons where I was allowed to doodle were lessons in which I engaged far better.

"Australian schools must be much better funded then here. No chance whatso sever of access to a spare text book, the school as a whole has exactly zero spare laptops, ( in fact, not enough laptops for students who cant write to have one each anyway) and if there is spare paper or pens in my classroom, that will be because I have brought them in myself. The cost of paper has doubled here, and the school ran out 3 months before the end of the year last year"

Yes, so I am learning from Mumsnet and it's a really terrible thing.

Really positive to see you asking for suggestions on here and it's great to see the thoughtful suggestions. My son just started high school and survived the year thanks to his incredible English teacher and the Head of Pastoral Care. The other teachers just didn't get him and found his behaviour so challenging. These kids need a champion to get them through.

Parent of a DS with ADHD

Problems with organisation
Homework diary (paper or online) used consistently by all teachers and visible to parents too
Clear requirement in the homework, not phases like 'using the method taught in lesson' not helpful
Clear timescales too but long timescales means he's more likely to forget or lose focus on that piece of homework compared to others with shorter deadline
Allow doodling and other distractions, he can't concentrate on 1 think at a time and won't be able to actively listen without doing something with his hands. Aural only teaching less positive than multi method
Learning through doing particularly positive
Access to physical activities at breaks. In winter school often band the kids from playing and he was going stir crazy.
Emotional maturity varies and can cause friendships issues, mediation can help

As a parent having a whiteboard for actions in the morning help him to manage himself
Eg reminder to pick up PE kit, instrument etc on a particular day

I’m thinking a lot about secondary school these days because my ds is in an amazing school where they really are trying their best for him.

He sits oddly, shifts about in his seat, tucks his leg up with his ear at his knee sometimes and no one cares a whit. He doodles and if a remark is passed it’s because a teacher is interested in what he has drawn.

If I write a note on his journal to say he didn’t get his homework done that’s fine. If his homework is in my handwriting sometimes it’s not a problem. Occasionally it comes in the form of a picture instead of words. No issues. If he needs another go at a topic, he gets some support work, and we’re looking at the option of pre-teaching some maths to get him over his own belief that he won’t understand the class work.

He got himself worked up about exams and the school’s attitude was that he didn’t need to take them - that the purpose is to help a student on their learning pathway, not to create a mh crisis. He actually did take his exams but by choice once they became optional.

My school experience was very different. I got away with a lot because I was a “good” student but I was also an expert at masking - I fidgeted with my toes, and I could daydream while still listening. Recently in a university course, I loved being able to sit in a lecture with my tablet and pull up and read the articles that the lecturer was referencing - I can speed read, doodle and listen. What I cannot do is retain any information if I’m concentrating hard on keeping still and wearing the right facial expressions to keep a teacher off my back.

A huge issue for schools is having different rules for different kids but some of us have different brains and need different rules. And frankly neurotypical kids need all the help they can get with tolerating differences because if you stop considering them as normal/right/default you can just easily categorise NT behaviours and abilities as defects.

NT people have a theory of mind and their basic pattern of thinking is “I feel/think this way and you probably do too” which is often wrong and is the underlying basis of an awful lot of the world’s problems.

The better schools get at accommodating individual educational needs the closer they’ll get to serving the needs of all their students’ wider needs.

@Andsoforth what an amazing school your DS has! Thanks so much for your post. My DS is 6 and in primary school, on the pathway for ASD assessment but I strongly suspect ADHD in our family (myself, possibly DD and DH too).
The last 3 paragraphs of your post are something that's definitely made me think about contacting our school, especially about the different rules for different people/brains. It's one thing that bugs me about our school, that there's one rule everyone has to abide by, SEN or not.
Reading more about this makes me actually want to start an assessment for myself, and fight extra hard for my DS so at least he can get the help he needs.

Reading with interest!

There's a good future learn course about ADHD, maybe more than one. It's free

My ds is year 11. Tries to fit in ..

Changes affect him. Can be a teacher been off sick, a change of plans..

He needs carrots not sticks.. but also firm but fair or he pushes hus luck.

Get them to be the child that needs to get up to hand stuff out, if he needs the Loo- he might not - he needs a break.

He can answer verbally far better than written so gives him confidence.

My ds goes to a none uniform school, however he has sensory processing issues. I would imagine picking up on every minor violation would make life worse.

My ds will also act the clown / have the cool dude bravado.. he is covering. He is trying to fit in/ hiding he can't focus/ is struggling.

Also anything can be a distraction, windows etc

I wasn't diagnosed at school, but I remember all my friends receiving head teacher awards for good work. I received one for a drawing in about three years (I remember the drawing, it was a Victorian lady in a pink dress so I was really proud of my sticker 😂)

My point is please reward children for good work at their standard, I worked my butt off but was always sent to the head teacher for not being good enough. Also sat on the "naughty table" I guess as i distracted others by fidgeting, so maybe put a more positive spin on having their own space.

Echoing what someone else said about praising work. The work I handed in was never good enough, my English teacher would frequently rip my written work up and dump it in the bin with a furious rant about that's not how I've been taught.

Recognise signs of frustration because that can escalate.

And if it looks like we're not listening, we are listening on some level it's just that we hear everything at the same volume at the same time and it's hard to zone one thing in it out, it just happens naturally and we have no control over it.

For example. You're speaking but someone's flipping through their book, someone else is tapping their foot, someone else is moving in their chair and their jacket is making a sound against the chair, someone's looking for something in their bag, someone is doodling so the scratch of the pencil/pen on the paper is getting louder, someone's phone is vibrating, the windows open and I can hear things outside, someone shut a door in the corridor, I can hear myself breathing because I'm trying to focus on what you're saying but I'm lost so I chat to my neighbour quickly to find out wtf is going on and then I'm in trouble for not listening. When you ask me what you were saying I say I don't know and the rest of the class laughs. I then get into trouble again for being the class clown.

That's how many of my classes in secondary went down anyway.

Short clear instructions and a teacher who is willing to break the task down again if we ask is the most positive thing we can have in a classroom.

im A Primary Teacher, and recently had to complete a form requested by a paediatrician for a child in my class. It slowly dawned on me that I also could tick all of the boxes for adhd!

I’ve since gone down quite a rabbit hole - with adhd there are so many paradoxes.

all or nothing - I am brilliant at micro-focussing on a task, but if it’s a task that I’m not interested in I will really struggle to even start it. My house always turns into a beautiful show home during report writing season!

memory - DH will often get frustrated with me for forgetting things he has told me about, but I often have no recollection. This is down to me being hyper focused on something else at the time of him telling me. My hyper focus might be other stuff going on in my head, it’s not always task based. I have a brilliant long term memory but very poor short term.

filtering - I can filter out any background noise but at the same time, certain noises will drive me insane.

I struggle to contribute in social conversations. I can interrupt or speak over people because I’m desperate to share my ideas, But then In other social gatherings I completely shut down and don’t say a word to anyone!

girls do a great job of masking and adhd is often overlooked as they don’t present in the same way as energetic bouncy boys do.

Allowing doodling in books, on arms, anywhere. And being my conscious of the fact that a student might not be aware of the doodling so if they do it on their desk, telling them off for it is extremely humiliating for them (I speak from experience). Making allowance also for clicking of pens, tapping of legs/tables and fidgeting.

Allowing extra time for work and note taking- I was always very slow as I didn’t know how to pace myself/ overthought things.

I am sure you don’t do this but don’t call them lazy, or tell them they have potential they aren’t reaching- or that they could be great if they did XYZ routine things (that happen to be very difficult for people with ADHD). It’s a very hurtful thing to constantly hear. I think my teachers said this to motivate me but all it did was reinforce my perception of myself as a failure.

If predicting grades for GCSE etc- be conscious of the fact that mocks and classroom performance may not be indicative of actual grades. I bombed my mocks and was unfocused in class, but had straight A*s at gcse thanks to last minute hyper focused revision. Despite this, my teachers still under predicted my A Level grades which impacted uni offers.

I’m going to think about a reply for you as I can do this from both sides. I taught both primary mainstream and special school but have dropped out of teaching after a late diagnosis of ADHD with query ASD.

@Malacath it is a great school but I suppose I should add that he still struggles with school and is borderline refusal, so despite all of those accommodations it’s still not actually meeting his needs.

so on reflection, I really don’t know what is needed.

Thank you so much for asking this.
I have innatentive type ADHD (so, no hyperactivity, what used to be called ADD) but I'm also autistic and dyspraxic so some of these ideas might interact with those conditions as well. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing I suppose, seeing how often they're co-occuring.
I think a couple of these might already have been mentioned. I also suspect that some of it is just general good practice these days, although it's not that many years since I left school. They're things the teachers I liked did, or things I'd have found useful, a combination would be perfect.

• A clear lesson outline, preferably written (on the projector) and verbal. And refer back to it during the lesson. This helps to structure any notes, and it also helps me to know what's expected of me.
• A clear weekly structure for subjects with different skill areas examined (e.g. listening one day, working on the set text another). That makes it easier to make sure I have all the right things with me (although by no means guaranteed!).
• Help students to organise their work, but don't get annoyed if students choose another method. At 6th form I had several teachers recommend different organisation strategies, one of them worked for me and I wanted to apply it to all my subjects. One teacher would tell me off or mock me for organising my work "wrong".
• Allow students with processing issues (whether diagnosed or you just notice in class that they aren't getting things down) to take a photo of the board. Ideally of course we'd have the time to copy stuff down by hand, but having worked in a classroom as an assistant I realise this isn't always possible when you also have to balance the needs of 25 other kids and you're under pressure to get through a topic.
• Ask students to explain back to you what you just explained. I use this in my teaching (not a classroom teacher, but I teach extracurricular groups) all the time and it's sometimes surprising where misunderstandings occur.
• Understand that just because a pupil is "smart", it doesn't mean they don't need support, and they're not being lazy. I was what I think is called "twice-exceptional", although I wasn't diagnosed until university. Unusually good in my areas of interest, still very much disabled by my conditions. Sometimes this helped, because I could use my status at the top of the class to make a teacher explain things again or give me more time ("if this one hasn't got it I must need to give them more time", even though I could see everyone else had it down). Sometimes it meant teachers didn't understand why if I could do this seemingly complex work, I couldn't remember to pick up my exercise book at the end of the lesson.
• Be understanding about lost property. All the way from primary aged through to university, I was losing things. The best teachers, and the ones I remember most fondly (and was therefore likely to work harder for!) were the ones who quietly facilitated me getting things back, without causing a fuss. And sometimes before I'd even realised they were gone!
• Let them see a clock. I know, clock-watching is an irritating habit among students, it's rude, it's dispiriting to see them apparently desperate to leave the lesson. But for ADHD kids like me, seeing a clock really helps me to regulate. I don't have a great concept of time, so I will genuinely have no clue of whether we're halfway through a class or only just started (the clear lesson outline also helps with that). If I lose focus, and it feels like there's forever left, I just zone out because it's too much, whereas if I can see the class is nearly over, I might make the extra effort to take in the last bits of information. Similarly, don't always leave important information like homework until the last minute - I've switched off by then!

My DS had a terrible experience at Primary School, he was diagnosed with ADHD ( mostly impulsivity) at age 9, but a reasonabl experience at Secondary school. The secondary school was by no means a good school in general but it was the best for my son.
The main things that made a difference at the secondary school were they didn’t assume ADHD medication would “fix the ADHD” and get frustrated when it didn’t. They didn’t always blame him if something was going on, they accepted that other kids could push the ADHD kid’s buttons to try and cause a reaction, they actually investigated rather than making assumptions. They didn’t assume the child’s problems were purely down to bad or lax parenting. They didn’t keep him in a break time as a sanction, he needed the release of getting out of the classroom. They nurtured him in what he did well such as sports and working on lighting and sound for school productions rather than always finding fault. Most impactful was one guidance teacher who really got my son, having that one person made all the difference to my son’s whole school experience, the guidance teacher arranged to stay as his guidance teacher all the way through school rather than changing as they normally did. As he got older home life with my son was so stressful we were unable to “make“ him do homework, so the school told us not to worry and destroy what little positive times we had at home and arranged extra support and study time for him in school. Tbh I don’t know if my son would have managed to stay in education if he and us as parents ( we were at the school a lot) hadn’t had the support from the school that we did have.