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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Harassing neighbour?

10 replies

Ccaaiitt92 · 03/01/2023 19:51

Firstly going to give a bit of a backstory before we moved in to the property we are in right now…
My pregnancy with my son was very traumatising I required tube feeding due to HG and now have an eating disorder called ARFID and there is no specialist in West Yorkshire for this eating disorder so has gone undiagnosed. We moved in in August 2020 and straight away my neighbour started what I believe is harassing me (I’m Autistic and socialising is hard for me) I was told by my upstairs neighbour to not talk to this neighbour as she is a massive gossip and I did that I avoided her at all costs and was nice if she saw us but.. I was underweight and she started calling me anorexic to other neighbours and constantly bringing up my weight to me and next time I saw her I tried to explain to her I wasn’t anorexic and I would of actually gotten help if I was but not long after that conversation I was sectioned to the gastro ward for tube feeding and I actually got semi diagnosed… like I said no specialist in my area but I had a 2 hour appointment with the eating disorder team and they said I wasn’t anorexic. My official diagnosis is eating disorder (unspecified) and I receive no help for it.

I was discharged in November 2020 and have had no issues with my weight since and not long after I was at the park with my son and met a lady there and she was so friendly so I tried to start a friendship with her and it was going so well until my neighbour went up to my new friend and told her she didn’t know how she could be friends with me because I’m “mental” and I was absolutely disgusted and confused I had never been nasty to her in any way and I asked her not to do that and said if she had any questions about my autism and how it affects me to just ask and she was like yeah ok…. But since then she has been on a mission to make people think I’m crazy by going through my bins and telling people what I throw out, calling me useless in front of my son, telling me there is something wrong with my son because he throws tantrums and screams (which is normal behaviour for toddlers)
she criticises everything I do including how I hang my washing I no longer take my son in the communal garden and I just take him to the park.

but most recently she has turned everyone against me because she has said I assault my husband and I’m apparently racist because I got mad at my upstairs neighbour for constantly waking my son up. My neighbour upstairs and the older neighbour have teamed up to harass me constantly and the neighbour upstairs has her entire family upstairs slamming doors and banging and yelling all night long so my son can no longer sleep in his room so he’s out of the routine I worked hard to get him into . My neighbour stamps on the ground continuously until I snap and yell and she records my reaction and shows people and says I’m the one in the wrong and see how crazy she is.

i complain weekly to the council but they don’t really seem to see how their behaviour affects our daily lives and our mental health and not to react but I’m exhausted honestly. My elderly neighbour puts food my cats aren’t allowed to eat outside and my cats end up sick because of it (I will include a picture of what she put outside my front door for my cats) today I asked her not to put food outside anymore because it makes my cats poorly my cat had to go to the vet recently with food poisoning and she said she’s not putting it out for my cats she putting it out for the birds and if I don’t like it I should pick it up and now my cats aren’t allowed outside.

also I’m not from England originally I’m from Australia so I have no family here just my husband and son.

long post but AIBU to react like I do ?

OP posts:
FannyFifer · 03/01/2023 19:55

There is a lot going on here, I think you need to move & start fresh somewhere else.

BlueKaftan · 03/01/2023 19:55

Report her to the police for harassment. They will take it seriously if you have evidence and can support your claims. Install a camera if you can afford it. It’s the only way.

FannyFifer · 03/01/2023 19:59

BlueKaftan · 03/01/2023 19:55

Report her to the police for harassment. They will take it seriously if you have evidence and can support your claims. Install a camera if you can afford it. It’s the only way.

Unfortunately that will prob backfire as neighbour has videos of OP which will prob not make the OP not look great & like she is the one causing probs.

saltinesandcoffeecups · 03/01/2023 20:03

How long have you been complaining weekly to the council? Have they investigated or advised anything?

FunkyMonks · 03/01/2023 20:16

You need to move it sounds horrific and it won't improve sadly.
These situations never do 🥺 so sorry you are going through all this not all of UK is awful.

Ccaaiitt92 · 03/01/2023 22:34

We have applied on choose and move and for council house exchange websites but having no luck whatsoever.

OP posts:
Ccaaiitt92 · 03/01/2023 22:42

I also have videos of my neighbours but they aren’t even accepting the evidence I have. They put recording equipment in and I caught my neighbours multiple times harassing us but apparently that wasn’t harassing behaviour. Banging on the ground when we were vacuuming during the day and following my son around and stamping when he was asleep isn’t harassing behaviour according to the council. I got cameras in my house when this started happening I’ve not proof but they don’t want to accept the proof. I have a video of them banging on the ground with something every time we had a trick or treater on halloween but “that’s not evidence” and I’m not allowed to record her anymore. I’ve made a complaint and I’m taking everything I have to the ombudsman but that’s the only thing I can do now.

OP posts:
Ccaaiitt92 · 03/01/2023 22:47

before we moved to our flat we lived in a 1 bedroom terraced house for 5 years and never had any issues whatsoever with any neighbours and I actually never had a conversation with my next door neighbour I didn’t know his name for 3 years. I loved my neighbours and we had no complaints there and got on with everyone so I know not everyone is like that here but a lot of people around my area now are unfortunately. I prefer to stay out of drama as I can’t actually deal with it so this is hell for me

OP posts:
Sge995 · 19/01/2023 13:41

I am going through exactly the same thing!!

i have been in the same situation since May 2021, she’s still next door, video evidence of her slamming and opening door and screaming to neighbours knowing majority work nights. It’s a living nightmare the harrasment.

she personally got a vendetta against me, I ended up going directly to the MP.

she’s still next door 😔

Diverging · 19/01/2023 13:56

Oh dear that’s awful it can totally destroy your mental health having neighbours like this. You are not BU. It can happen anywhere. They are vile and probably personality disordered with no self awareness (and no I’m not calling all personality disordered people vile) and there will be no reasoning with them.

It’s not easy option either but probably only moving will solve this. Sorry you’re going through it.

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