To just want to hide

[thegreenlight]

My beloved dad died 2 days before Christmas. I sat with him in hospital day and night for a week while my big, strong, adored dad faded away. I just want to sleep. I’m due back at work tomorrow (I’m an assistant head) and I can’t face it. Everyone is very kind in my school but I am just so so so tired. I have a constant headache and burst into tears several times a day. I don’t want to let my school down. I miss him so much - he was my absolute hero. I’m trying hard to be strong because my mum has lost her husband of 40 years and I need to be here for her but everything just seems pointless now. Any advice from wiser people would be appreciated - I just don’t know how to cope.

That sounds horrendous. Can't you book some time off work? Get a sick note for 2 weeks to give yourself a bit more time?

I am so sorry for your loss.

I am so sorry. Your pain is so obvious.
You can't work like this.
Grief is different for everybody.
You need some time off to process this.

Take some time off work. Think about how to celebrate your dads life. What do you need? What does your mom need?

I'm sorry.

Get signed off for a couple of weeks. You'll have enough to be dealing with to try and fit alongside being in school. Do you get any compassionate leave?

I don't want to sound heartless, and it's really sad when a loved one dies, but people do cope, sometimes badly, and life goes on.
Do you think having something else to concentrate on would take your mind off your Dad for a bit?

How much compassionate leave are you allowed when a relative dies? Perhaps you could work part time, or wfh occasionally if you have paperwork to sort out, or if your mum needs support.

It's not easy, but I promise you, you'll cope. 🌻

You need time OP. No one can be disappointed or annoyed at you for taking the time, it is a huge life changing event regardless of your age or job! I would expect your school to have a bereavement policy for things such as this. Think of it this way, if you had a colleague who had been through the same thing would you look down on them for feeling this way? No, you absolutely wouldn't. So please try and afford yourself the same level of care that you clearly have for others!

Speak to your GP and ask for some time off, you only lost your Dad so recently and I can imagine it was worse than usual arranging everything due to the holidays.
Spend time with your Mum and go back to work when you are ready.

It’s okay to take time away from work OP.
You don’t sound like you’re in the right frame of mind to go back yet - they will understand.

My mum died 3 weeks ago. I got a 4 week note from gp. I am letting my work down but I can’t sleep and just need to recover. The last few weeks, especially Christmas was tough. I had a weeks annual leave this week, so relaxing. I also broke my foot. If I feel to ho back early I will. But at this time I need some me time and work can wait.

Take time off.

I'm a teacher, and anyone suggesting that you just suck it up and go in to work when grieving and struggling with tears has no idea of how hard it is in a classroom.

I am so sorry for your loss.

It is very early to be returning to work and I really feel you need to give yourself more time to grieve. Having lost close family members myself, I can totally relate to that feeling of what is the point in anything anymore.

Please don't feel like you are letting the school down if you take more time off. It is totally understandable and is what you need.

I'm so sorry for your loss, OP.

I think you need to take some time off to come to terms a little with your loss.