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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I should go very low contact with my toxic sister

2 replies

aquicknamechangeagain · 03/01/2023 15:16

My sister lives very far away from me.She has always been dangerous in terms of her toxic tongue.She speaks badly about people she professes to love and has a habit of exaggerating and adding extras onto tales of woe, particularly if it involves gossip or scandal. Most of our family and friends know this about her so most are very guarded around her, including me .She has always been unhappy and delights in others misfortune. My sister is an alcoholic but does not drink as much as she used to some years ago.This is relevant. She will smile to your face and offer all sorts of support and reel you in with kindness, only to find out sometime later that she has been badmouthing you or sharing private conversations. My sister rang my other sister recently as she' is worried ' about my alcoholism and health.I am not an alcoholic and my health is relatively good.I'm working on keeping fit and healthy. I drink alcohol when I go to celebrations and wine at home sometimes.My alcohol consumption is of no worry to me, nor does it impact my ability to work, parent, financially support myself and my kids. There have been times that I have gone through stages of drinking more than I normally eg when my Mum died, marriage broke up etc but those were phases. Over Christmas. I got tipsy while at a friends for drinks with all our friends and family. My exh came round for dinner and there was no problem. He came round next day and became verbally abusive about our kids not wanting to be with him.He then shouted at me about being drunk the day before. My youngest son told his cousin who in turn told his mother( dangerous sister....that Dad was angry because of mum's alcoholism. I am not sure if my son who is 10 did say that or whether it was twisted by my sister, which is a common occurence, but the context and content of the conversation was untrue. My dangerous sister has now rang my sister with whom I am very close, to air her ' serious concerns about my alcoholism'......My sister with whom Im close went nuts as she know how dangerous the other sister is and told her that she was making a very serious statement and was completely and utterly wrong as we live near each other. What do I do... I can only think of going low contact. I cannot let dangerous sister know of their conversation.Thanks.

OP posts:
Keyansier · 03/01/2023 15:32

What's interesting is that it's not just your sister that said you are an alcoholic, two other people have said it too, so whether she's toxic or not aside, do you think she may have a bit of a point if you are going to be truly honest with yourself?

aquicknamechangeagain · 03/01/2023 17:41

Sorry.I may not have been clear as I know theres alot of information that may seem jumbled.It was only my sister who said that I was an alcoholic, not anyone else. My exh in the middle of shouting at me about the kids not wanting to see him among other issues, said that I was drunk the day before.I was at a friends for drinks and each and all of us were tipsy so that bit is true.An unusual and irregular event, as it was Christmas.It was my son who told his cousin that his Dad had said this. So, nobody else labelled me as ana alcoholic, only that I had been drunk the previous day..whch I hadnt but was tipsy...and my son who told that information when telling his cousin what happened in a greater context,

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