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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ADHD and budgeting

44 replies

1hyuny · 03/01/2023 14:38

Hi I've name changed for this as I haven't shared my ADHD diagnosis journey with anyone yet so don't want this linked to my other posts.

I've always know there was something amiss with me , procrastinating, crap with money, difficulty holding down plans and friendships, finding organising tiring and zoning out. I've now started the formal diagnosis journey through my GP after it all coming to a head recently when I visited the GP due to overwhelm.

Anyway this is by the by, my AIBU for traffic (sorry) is around budgeting. So many people have told me to just use a 'simple' excel spreadsheet or one of those fancy banking apps (starling?) To budget effectively. There is a chance I have Dyscalculia alongside ADHD so these are a struggle for me and I find it confusing and don't want to change banks.

I can't and won't ask anyone's help such as family or friends as I have some significant debt to clear which I don't want them knowing about but is manageable as I've recently had a promotion.

I just need something to help me clearly budget my income and outgoings and remember to include stuff like petrol and pet insurance etc which I usually forget about. Anyone have anything simple to suggest or a ready made excel sheet? The overwhelm with this small task is exceptional for me which I hope anyone with adhd will understand thank you.

OP posts:
Remiskitchen · 03/01/2023 14:50

What helps with me is by making sure every single bill is paid for as soon as I get paid. I have to manually go into my banking app to pay some bills, but the rest are all set by DD to go out on the 1st of the month.
After years of being in debt, with no skills to budget money I've had to learn to find a way. I don't have any savings (that's a goal for this year) as I still just impulsively buy random stuff I'm in a much better place, even if by the end of the month I have .10p left. It's all about ADHD management and this is just another aspect of it that I needed to find a way to manage.

FromTheFront2theBack · 03/01/2023 14:57

  1. Can you literally print out last months bank balance and highlight everything that is an essential cost (minimum credit card payments, bills, rent etc). Add these up and subtract from your income.

  2. Decide how much you want to spend per week on food/entertainment. You might want to set up something like a Hypejar account. You can then transfer your weekly budget to this account and only use this account for spending. (Transfer the money on the day you do your main food shop so you can't overspend and run out of money for essentials).

Multiply your weekly budget by 4.5 to get your monthly spends on food/entertainment. Subtract this and the total from 1) from your income to see what you have left over. If you have substantial debts you may want to overpay on them by almost this amount each month. Pay this as soon as you get paid to prevent overspending. You will want to put a small amount into an easy access saving account (maybe with the same bank you use now for ease) for emergency funds.

Contact the citizens advice bereau for specific advice about debt management.

cheapskatemum · 03/01/2023 15:13

Instead of paying pet insurance, put a certain amount of money (the same amount you're paying for pet insurance now, or slightly less) into an accessible savings account every month. Don't use it for anything other than pet bills. Sorry, not what you asked for, but I hope it helps. I hope you manage to save in 2023.

Original poster
1hyuny · 03/01/2023 15:18

FromTheFront2theBack · 03/01/2023 14:57

  1. Can you literally print out last months bank balance and highlight everything that is an essential cost (minimum credit card payments, bills, rent etc). Add these up and subtract from your income.

  2. Decide how much you want to spend per week on food/entertainment. You might want to set up something like a Hypejar account. You can then transfer your weekly budget to this account and only use this account for spending. (Transfer the money on the day you do your main food shop so you can't overspend and run out of money for essentials).

Multiply your weekly budget by 4.5 to get your monthly spends on food/entertainment. Subtract this and the total from 1) from your income to see what you have left over. If you have substantial debts you may want to overpay on them by almost this amount each month. Pay this as soon as you get paid to prevent overspending. You will want to put a small amount into an easy access saving account (maybe with the same bank you use now for ease) for emergency funds.

Contact the citizens advice bereau for specific advice about debt management.

You've lost me with a lot of your post sorry but I don't have a printer and I spend with 3 different credit cards and 2 current accounts so it would get confusing anyway. I've sorted this out as of the last few days in terms of cutting up cards but need to sort the rest of it out I.e the organising. I seem to have so many bills that come out as card payments, direct debit and standing orders and I'm not sure what's what all the time. I used to be so 'on it' but adhd has crept up on me over time I think (or more my ability to mask it and manage stuff has waned)

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 03/01/2023 15:19

Try You Need A Budget, OP.

Original poster
1hyuny · 03/01/2023 15:20

cheapskatemum · 03/01/2023 15:13

Instead of paying pet insurance, put a certain amount of money (the same amount you're paying for pet insurance now, or slightly less) into an accessible savings account every month. Don't use it for anything other than pet bills. Sorry, not what you asked for, but I hope it helps. I hope you manage to save in 2023.

I would spend it. Sorry I didn't mean pet insurance it's like a monthly subscription to the vet to cover jabs and flea and worm etc.

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 03/01/2023 15:20

Hmm, maybe not. I thought it was a free app but it isn’t. Sorry.

Original poster
1hyuny · 03/01/2023 15:21

bridgetreilly · 03/01/2023 15:19

Try You Need A Budget, OP.

Sorry is that an app or something? I'm not being difficult I promise, just clueless.

OP posts:
SalviaOfficinalis · 03/01/2023 15:22

www.moneysavingexpert.com/banking/budget-planning/#planner

hope this helps

bridgetreilly · 03/01/2023 15:22

You might find an envelope system useful. You literally put cash in envelopes for different things e.g, food, petrol, kids etc. Once the envelope is empty it’s empty. You could do it weekly or monthly.

Original poster
1hyuny · 03/01/2023 16:05

SalviaOfficinalis · 03/01/2023 15:22

This looks fairly easy to use but I couldn't get it to work on my phone and I don't have a laptop etc. I'll try on my tablet later.

OP posts:
Original poster
1hyuny · 03/01/2023 16:07

bridgetreilly · 03/01/2023 15:22

You might find an envelope system useful. You literally put cash in envelopes for different things e.g, food, petrol, kids etc. Once the envelope is empty it’s empty. You could do it weekly or monthly.

That might be easier except a lot of places don't take cash but maybe I could split funds between current accounts. I have 4 I can use (don't ask theyre mostly all empty) so could do this. Just need to work out how much I need to put in each pot.

OP posts:
isthewashingdryyet · 03/01/2023 16:12

The money saving expert budget is a great place to start.
Allow enough time to get it set up, and then allow at least 1 year to get it all sorted. I forgot the green bin payment and the window cleaner to start with, and needed to wait until the year had rolled round and all the payments were asked for.
Budgets need updating and are never completed , so go easy on yourself

Whiteclaw · 03/01/2023 16:15

An app like Moneyhub can show you all your accounts, transactions, debt etc in one place which might make it easier as you have various accounts. I think the Big Exchange (part of the Big Issue group) also have a free version.

Also try to have all your bills paid (including debt payments, emergency savings, long term savings etc) right after you get paid, then you know whatever else you have is spending money for the month

SlipperSchlepper · 03/01/2023 16:34

Hi OP, I completely sympathise with you. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the ripe age of 40. I've always been terrible at budgeting. One of the traits of ADHD is being impulsive and terrible with money and I can attest to that. Many ADHD'ers including myself also struggle with looking into the future and forward planning (often why many of us rarely achieve our goals!)

What I have found to be most helpful was getting a Monzo account and card for my 'every day' spending. Each paycheque I put my spending money (kind of like an allowance) into my Monzo account. I can instantly set up 'savings pots' in the app which appear and I can name them whatever I want and add an inspirational picture with the pot. So I could have one for 'Son's Birthday Gifts', another for 'Nights Out', another for 'New Clothes', etc. Then what I'll do is each month when I've transferred over my available monthly spending money I will also divvy up that money and put some into my savings pots. You can also choose to set a goal for each saving pot so every time you put money in it will tell you how close you are to your goal. You cannot spend the money in your savings pots unless you go into the app and transfer it into the main Monzo spending account.

I have found this very very helpful for me and my ADHD brain. There's a lot of flexibility for creativity and customisation in the app to make it enjoyable for you. There is also a feature that automatically categorises each transaction into the type of payment for example meals, entertainment, gifts, etc. You can also go in and customise these and edit them. Then you can go in the app and visually see how much of your money goes to each type of things.

To clarify - any household bills & automatic payments are taken out of my main bank account that my salary is paid into. I try not to use my other main bank account for every day spending - only my Monzo so I can keep track of it all. There are a lot of great budgeting tools available on the app, including a feature that allows you to click on a transaction - lets say you spent £30 at Zara. When you click on that all the details of that transaction are there, but then it also tells you how much in total you have spent at that retailer. It's incredibly handy and FREE! I do not have a premium account. Only the regular no fee one.

Hope this helps!

  • I don't know if there is a limit on the number of Monzo savings pots you can include but you can set them up and delete them instantly.

Also - there's a good preview of the Monzo account and features when you go to view it in the App Store - here's a link. I promise it's not dodgy! apps.apple.com/gb/app/monzo-bank-mobile-banking

SlipperSchlepper · 03/01/2023 16:41

Sorry that link didn't work. This one should apps.apple.com/gb/app/monzo-bank-mobile-banking/id1052238659

Original poster
1hyuny · 03/01/2023 20:39

SlipperSchlepper · 03/01/2023 16:34

Hi OP, I completely sympathise with you. I was diagnosed with ADHD at the ripe age of 40. I've always been terrible at budgeting. One of the traits of ADHD is being impulsive and terrible with money and I can attest to that. Many ADHD'ers including myself also struggle with looking into the future and forward planning (often why many of us rarely achieve our goals!)

What I have found to be most helpful was getting a Monzo account and card for my 'every day' spending. Each paycheque I put my spending money (kind of like an allowance) into my Monzo account. I can instantly set up 'savings pots' in the app which appear and I can name them whatever I want and add an inspirational picture with the pot. So I could have one for 'Son's Birthday Gifts', another for 'Nights Out', another for 'New Clothes', etc. Then what I'll do is each month when I've transferred over my available monthly spending money I will also divvy up that money and put some into my savings pots. You can also choose to set a goal for each saving pot so every time you put money in it will tell you how close you are to your goal. You cannot spend the money in your savings pots unless you go into the app and transfer it into the main Monzo spending account.

I have found this very very helpful for me and my ADHD brain. There's a lot of flexibility for creativity and customisation in the app to make it enjoyable for you. There is also a feature that automatically categorises each transaction into the type of payment for example meals, entertainment, gifts, etc. You can also go in and customise these and edit them. Then you can go in the app and visually see how much of your money goes to each type of things.

To clarify - any household bills & automatic payments are taken out of my main bank account that my salary is paid into. I try not to use my other main bank account for every day spending - only my Monzo so I can keep track of it all. There are a lot of great budgeting tools available on the app, including a feature that allows you to click on a transaction - lets say you spent £30 at Zara. When you click on that all the details of that transaction are there, but then it also tells you how much in total you have spent at that retailer. It's incredibly handy and FREE! I do not have a premium account. Only the regular no fee one.

Hope this helps!

  • I don't know if there is a limit on the number of Monzo savings pots you can include but you can set them up and delete them instantly.

Also - there's a good preview of the Monzo account and features when you go to view it in the App Store - here's a link. I promise it's not dodgy! apps.apple.com/gb/app/monzo-bank-mobile-banking

This is so helpful thank you I will look at that tomorrow. Opening new bank accounts and savings etc seems like a chain of events my brain will procrastinate about 🤣 but I need a kick to finally do this so thanks.

OP posts:
DuchessOfDisco · 03/01/2023 20:50

Hi OP I’m also on the journey to an adhd diagnosis and am terrible with money, even though I’m a mathematician, I’m just also an impulsive spender who cannot manage credit card debts (the forever I’ll just pay the minimum payment this month but next month I’ll pay more…. And that next month never seems to materialise).
I bank with starling, which is very similar to monzo I believe. It has separate “pots” so you can allocate money to specific things. So when I get paid i automatically transfer £700 into my “bills” pot and all my bills pay out of that. This year I am also trying cash envelope stuffing to try and manage my personal spending. One day I would love to have savings, but I just can’t manage that

SlipperSchlepper · 03/01/2023 20:51

@1hyuny from what I recall opening the account was really quite easy. It's all done on the app and uses a photo you take and also your drivers license or other form of ID as verification.

Original poster
1hyuny · 04/01/2023 09:43

DuchessOfDisco · 03/01/2023 20:50

Hi OP I’m also on the journey to an adhd diagnosis and am terrible with money, even though I’m a mathematician, I’m just also an impulsive spender who cannot manage credit card debts (the forever I’ll just pay the minimum payment this month but next month I’ll pay more…. And that next month never seems to materialise).
I bank with starling, which is very similar to monzo I believe. It has separate “pots” so you can allocate money to specific things. So when I get paid i automatically transfer £700 into my “bills” pot and all my bills pay out of that. This year I am also trying cash envelope stuffing to try and manage my personal spending. One day I would love to have savings, but I just can’t manage that

Thanks its nice to know I'm not alone. Off to Google monza and starling and see what I can work out.

OP posts:
SmallElephants · 04/01/2023 09:47

Following! I get such anxiety about money and am completely overwhelmed by managing it at all. Visual prompts sound good.

Woahhohoho · 04/01/2023 09:57

I was going to suggest Monzo also. I'm not diagnosed ADHD but strongly suspect that I am. Also a lifetime of awful money management and head in the sand behaviour which has led to debt. I have made a million financial spreadsheets but they don't really help me to stick to anything. Just useful for info.

The Monzo pots are useful for food, petrol, savings etc and the app breaks down your spending categories so you can see where your money is going. It also allows you to be paid the day before your salary date which isn't always the best for me but useful when I'm skint! It was easy to set up and just needed photo ID and to speak into the camera for DPA.

SleekMamma · 04/01/2023 09:59

Hi OP have a look at Starling bank too. All on an app, it's a proper bank and it's a pleasure to use. It has savings spaces so you don't overspend.

I have also struggled with budgeting my whole life.
I found using the app 'you need a budget ' aka YNAB really helpful. Especially if you are getting yourself out of debt.

I would advise staying away from credit cards though. I have never ever been able to use them and not get into difficulty

Original poster
1hyuny · 04/01/2023 13:23

SleekMamma · 04/01/2023 09:59

Hi OP have a look at Starling bank too. All on an app, it's a proper bank and it's a pleasure to use. It has savings spaces so you don't overspend.

I have also struggled with budgeting my whole life.
I found using the app 'you need a budget ' aka YNAB really helpful. Especially if you are getting yourself out of debt.

I would advise staying away from credit cards though. I have never ever been able to use them and not get into difficulty

I had a look at YNAB but it appeared to want to charge me $14.99 dollars to have it! Was I looking at the wrong thing. It put me off. Thanks.

OP posts:
Original poster
1hyuny · 04/01/2023 13:24

Can someone who may have used both please tell me the differences between monzo and starling? Not sure which to pursue thanks.

OP posts:
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