To give up again

[HoopersHat]

I’m five months off finishing my postgraduate course and qualifying in a profession I’m not sure I want to work in anymore. It was a profession I wanted to enter because I thought it was a role where I could make a difference. The role presented at university is so far removed from the reality of placement.

If I was to quit it would be the second professional qualification that I have quit on.
I’m in my late forties and have drifted from job to job, never really achieving anything in the past. I want to finish the course to feel like I’ve actually achieved something finally, but the pressure the course and placement is putting my family and me under doesn’t feel worth it. Financially or mentally.

I’m struggling with the coursework; I should be working on my assignment and portfolio but procrastinating as usual. I want to quit, but I can't face failing yet again and letting my family down.

I wouldn’t quit another course with only 5 months left. What have you got to lose now finishing it off, even if you don’t work in that field? Better to complete it, not waste the previous time and money you’ve already invested and get the qualification than quit and have nothing to show for what you’ve already done.

You clearly don’t know what you want to do but you have to do something. Why not just keep doing this until you figure it out? If you haven’t figured it out yet then you’re unlikely to figure it out in the next couple of months and get your ducks in a row to actually do it.

Keep on the course and keep doing that until you find something you’d prefer.

I appreciate your replies. I do want to work within this profession; I have worked in similar roles on and off since my undergrad. The previous professional qualification that I obtained was in a completely unrelated career. It was well paid, but I was miserable, so I didn't progress to being fully chartered.

The course I am completing at the moment will lead to me being able to register within my chosen profession. Still, I'm beginning to feel that being registered means being stuck behind a desk, completing paperwork and statutory duties, whilst the work I would prefer to do, that I am good at, I don't need the qualification to do.

I am just feeling low today and struggling to start my essay. Five months isn't that long in the grand scheme of things; it feels like such an uphill battle at the moment.

Do not quit with just five months to go. What a waste of time and money and effort that would be. Just finish it off, you've worked too hard and come too far to quit now. You will regret it if you do. You're at the final hurdle now. Keep going.

Just finish it. I take it you're not that fussed about particular grades and would be content with a pass?

@Butchyrestingface yeah, not bothered about the grades, just need to pass, but not going to unless I actually start the essay! Desperately need to find some motivation from somewhere.

Have you done the relevant studying/written some notes?

If so, could you just sit down and write a 100-150 introduction (you can change it later)? Just to get started?

Stop making excuses and just start the essay. I’ve been there, I know what it’s like. Just start, turn off your phone and do half an hour, get something typed. You will feel better for doing so. Finish the qualification, you are very close, doesn’t matter if you don’t use it, you will have it under your belt.

My motivation would be 'this course has cost me time and money, I am not going to quit now'. I also think you might be chasing something that doesn't exist - the perfect job and sorry but being in your late 40's is not the time to be drifting.

Open a Word file now!
Type your essay title and a few bullet points and ideas.
Then make a cup of tea and think about it.
You have started!

Getting the qualification doesn’t mean you have to take a job you hate - it just means you’ll have the option for different jobs if you so choose.

Start the essay. Open new doc, write a heading, write a bullet pointed outline. Even if that’s all you do you’ll feel better to have started.

Stop thinking of the time left in terms of months - it’s time to start thinking of it in terms of weeks/days. I find being under time pressure means that I stop procrastinating and just get on with it!
Also placements vary just like paid jobs vary. What you’ve experienced so far, is likely only to be one employers stance - a different employer (within the field) could offer a completely different feel for the industry.
Once you’ve got the qualification, then decided what you want employment wise.

It is worth getting the qualification whether or not you progress to the career. Tbh, at your age you don't have the privilege of mucking around, so you need to knuckle down and get the work finished! Then see how you feel afterwards.

Thank you all. I know you are right. I have looked at spent the afternoon looking at some sample essays and have started to make a plan. I have a couple of weeks to get it in, just need to get started.

@LavenderLewis @Stompythedinosaur agree entirely that at my age I need to get a grip. It's hard studying again and being back at uni especially when most of my cohort are the same age as my children. Although I'm not the eldest one there!

Get started and leave MN now !

I recently finished a degree which led to a professional qualification where i could be on the register fornthe profession, and the placement totally put me off the job forever. Finish it, having a degree gives you so many transferable skills and it doesnt mean you have to change jobs when you have the qualification if you dont want to. Minenwas social work.

And i obviously can not type today either, at least you can use spell check when you write your essay, get started, thats the first hurdle

Well obviously just finish it. You sound flaky, which I get but fuck
fucking get on with it. You don't have to work in that area but giving it up is idiotic.

Starting is the hardest part. Just make a start on the essay and you’ll get into it. Don’t think about afterwards, focus on getting the qualification. Don’t give up now.

Dare I ask OP is this nursing?

Does your university have a writing centre where you can book an hour for coaching/help?

DD2 has worked in her university's writing centre as a tutor since freshman year. She will meet with students who are struggling and help them brainstorm/show them out to map out an essay. If that is available it could unglue you.

also, I say this to my kids all the time. Work is called Work for a reason. Those cliches about do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life are just that. Very few people live like that, most work has times it is boring and hard and downright awful - along with some great moments. Focus on the overall picture for you - just get this done and then decide what you will do with it.

@Whatsherusername , I'm studying SW too. I loved my first placement; it was residential MH, with many 1:1 and group interventions. Statutory is so soul destroying, too much paperwork and not enough hands-on work.
@Msgrieves I get that I come across as flaky, but I'm not, honestly. I'm good at what I do, conscientious and hate letting people down. I struggle with procrastination, which affects my self-belief and leaves me asking whether I am good enough. I am; it's just a self-destructive pattern that I get into, which I will ride out. I'm not giving up now; I've come too far. Appreciate the kick up the arse, though; thank you.