Myself and my children ( 2 teens) moved in with my partner around 4 months ago.
We get on great, he's kind , considerate, caring, hard working all that you could ask for. Our future and what we talk about doing is something I'm really looking forwards too.
My problem is I've seen porn sites on his phone.
Before I moved in I saw once when we were googling something on his laptop
"Adultworks" in the search bar. I was curious so googled the site myself and was quite shocked at what it was. I saw a documentary all about it after and it was again shocking.
I tried not to think about it but saw it again when we were on his laptop. I asked him what it was ( already knowing myself) and plucked up the courage to ask why he looks at things on there. He just said he looks now and again ( so admitted it) and didn't see it being a problem, he knows friends that look and have done for years. I got quite upset at the thought of him watching " live" things and said they might aswell be in his front room..but he didn't agree and said don't be silly.
I get that men ( and some women ) like to watch porn but for me it's the " live " that I don't understand/ get upset about.
Our sex life could be better , we are very affectionate etc but we are not intimate very often ( although I would like to be, it's him that says it doesn't happen " like it used to when he was younger "...hes late 40's)
Anyway l told him what I thought about it etc and he said he probably wouldn't look when I moved in.
We are very happy etc, things are going great in every way apart from this still being on my mind, wondering if he does still look.
He thought I had gone for shower the other day ( which I was about to) but came downstairs for something and saw him on his phone looking at something. He quickly came off. I know I shouldn't but I was curious ( and probably a bit paranoid) but when he had left his phone and went for a shower himself I looked on his history and saw he had been looking. There were lists of " adultworks " ..."buy credits " etc. I then saw "private pictures "...thats what credits can buy among other things. I am absolutely gutted ! I know 100% he isn't meeting people.
I haven't questioned him about it because its wrong of me to look at his phone. I have seen another app ( porn) on his phone when he's been flicking through and confronted him about that. He's admitted looking at porn whilst I've been living here when I've asked but said he hasn't been on that site. Clearly he has because I've looked so he's lying!
I'm so paranoid and getting worked up about it I'm finding myself checking up on his phone now and again...normal porn I get men look at but its the live and private pics ( when he doesn't ask me to send any or ever has ) that bothers me ( obviously he doesn't know I know which site he looks at)
I asked if he pays for anything and he was shocked I'd asked and said no and said its wrong.
I've chatted to my friend about it who is very honest with me and says how nice he is, how our life together is, he's doesn't go out much with friends , with me alot and he probably just likes to look now and again. I've brought it on myself and winding myself up about it. If I didn't look on his phone I wouldn't have known. Everything else is perfect with us and our future, I just can't help looking and seeing when he's been on.
I dont know what to do. I'm not leaving him so will just have to deal with it.