little bit of background. I am a very busy mom of 3, who also happens to own a start up. It’s an extremely stressful time at the moment for all of us here at home (myself, kids and partner). My partner, let’s call him max, has always been very supportive, he takes care of the kids, schools and basically runs the household, all while working a full time job to pay all the bills etc, while I am working on the start up, that is eventually going to support and secure the family in future (financially).
Max and I have had problems in our relationship since the past 3 years, it all started with his family - long story short - they made racial comments about me and texted him bad things about me - and he never said anything about it. I always told him that, it hurts me most that he didn’t have my back or stand up for me, and I think that’s the foundation of most of our arguments.
fast forward to my actual question…
On Christmas Day we had my 2 best friends over, let’s name them Amy and Cheryl. Amy is an experienced business owner and financial advisor. I consider her to be my mentor in my own business journey, she just is there with an answer whenever you need it. However she kind of has the trait of her answer is always the right one although her life has not been all rosy as well.
On Xmas day after dinner and drinks, myself, max, cheryl and Amy were sitting at the table just conversating, I asked Amy some advise on a business related topic on how I can pull the business forward (I have been struggling a lot lately balancing relationship, business, mom and family life, stressed out to the point where I burst into screams and tears and max has to console me) Amy suggested I am not putting in enough work, I need fo do things this way, need to do it that way. I am suggesting I don’t have time to do things she is suggesting as I am struggling as it is. We’re going back and forth to the point where we are having a heated debate almost argument at the Xmas table. Max then says, he thinks Amy is right and I need to be open to her advice. He then makes a joke saying “oooh I can see the fire going between you two”
anyway they leave that night the vibes are awkward, I am ignoring and avoiding max as I felt that he could have stood up for me in that conversation as he knows how hard I have been working he sees and goes through everything at home with me, something’s Amy wouldn’t get to see. We had a big argument about it!
next day (Boxing Day) Amy and Cheryl come over to apologize to me, Amy saying she didn’t see my point of view. I broke down because I was overwhelmed and emotional with everything that has been going on for last couple of months. I tell Amy and Cheryl I think I need therapy as an output as I sometimes feel over stimulated. Amy suggests a business life coach.
fast forward to today 02/01
I saw a message on max phone from Ana, I was curious and opened the conversation (I don’t normally do this we trust each other and don’t have passwords on our phones) …max messaged Amy thanking her for coming to see me the next day, Amy tells max I need therapy and we probably also need couple therapy to sort out past issues (family) they continue to have a full blown conversation about how I need therapy, max says to her “you can’t tell someone they need therapy if they don’t acknowledge it” (talking about me)
anyway… I called cheryl after I saw the messages, she then told me, max went to Amy’s house on Christmas after we had the argument to go speak to her about the argument we had( I didn’t know that until today) he also wanted to go to Cheryl house but didn’t. Neither of them told me and if I didn’t see the messages I wouldn’t have known.
I feel a bit ….betrayed?
I guess my question is, am I overreacting?