To ask if you blend families at Xmas?

[ShannonDocherty]

With our baby’s first Christmas now over we’re already thinking about what we want to do at Xmas going forward.

Before having a baby we alternated seeing one set of parents on Xmas day and one on Boxing Day, swapping back and forth. Sometimes I cooked sometimes our parents cooked.

This Christmas Day, as we have a 3MO we went to my parents for lunch and stopped into DH’s parents for a couple of hours in the morning.

However, going forward we have decided we will stay at home on Christmas and host grandparents at our house instead.

However, I can’t decide whether we should continue to alternate them or just extend the invite to both sides going forward.

My parents only have DD nearby and have never been able to spend Xmas day with any of their GC until now. However PIL have several GC nearby so often see more than one set on Xmas day.

Therefore alternating it doesn’t seem that fair to my parents as it means that they will only be able to see any GC every other year, while PIL will always see some of theirs whatever we do.

However I don’t like the idea of hosting both sets of parents as I feel I’ll be stuck in the kitchen cooking for them all on Christmas Day, missing out on DD while the GPs compete with each other to be with her. Also they aren’t friends with each other - they don’t dislike each other but don’t really have anything in common so it would be quite awkward for them.

Really don’t know what to do for the best as keen to start a new way of doing things. Be great to know other people blend families and if so, does it work?

We use to invite one Xmas day and go to the other Boxing Day. Then alternate each year. Since my mum died we have dad every Xmas and go pils Boxing Day but usually stay a few nights.

Invite them all and do a buffet.

My “children“ are now 19 and 21. ever since the eldest was four months old we have had a very clear all that we will always be at home for Christmas (sleep at home Christmas Eve and Christmas night). There is a genuine open invitation to both sets of parents and both siblings and their families to join us or not. Absolutely no offence taken if they want to be elsewhere. Sometimes we have a houseful, sometimes just four of us and every combination in between. Best thing we ever did!

Good god, no. Never

...too soon in my enthusiasm! Never cross the stream!

Invite them all, it’s a nice thing to do.

We have both sides of the family at our house.

If you're worried about being stuck in the kitchen could you give dishes to bring / be responsible for?

Eg. We would love to have everyone here. Great, so thrilled you'll be with us! I'll do the Turkey and potatoes, could you sort the pigs in blankets and the cheese course mum? Sally it would be such a help if you could bring the prepped veg, happy to have it all cooked / finished here but it would be much better to do it between us all!

We had our DC first Christmas and didn't invite anyone and will probably do the same again going forward. It's really not a good mix, neither DH nor I would relax and we don't want to have a stressful Christmas. Both DH and I always had Christmas dinner at home as children but pre DC sometimes went on holiday so we'll possibly do that next Christmas before DC is really into all the Father Christmas stuff.
There's really no way we would mix the families but I know it works for many people.