To ask if you’re happy alone

[IveHadEnoughNowFfs]

Say 45+ years old, maybe already raised your kids and they’ve left home or child free.

Did you make a choice to be a recluse of sorts, or to actively be alone by choice?

What does your life look like if so?

I don’t necessarily mean 100% of the time, perhaps you attend a monthly book group or something loose like that, but perhaps actively choose not to have relationships or friendships?

Ive thought about it over and over for years and it’s what I want to do when the kids are older and out of the nest. Travel alone, follow pursuits alone, live alone (with a dog). I’ll want my children to come home whenever they want and ideally stay home in close contact but other than that… “I want to be left alone!”

I’m sick of how politics has become polarised and whether it’s Brexit, Labour, Tories, EU, H&M, Patriarchy, Feminism, Racism, etc etc etc. Basically, people are of the opinion that their opinion is right, and far too many people can’t actually talk about anything without trying to convert others.

So gotta be honest, my circle when we shoot off into the sunset might not be 1, but isn’t going to be far off.

I'm not quite as alone as you suggest you want to be - I do have friends, but I don't see them often (most live some distance away).

But I am definitely not looking for a relationship. I enjoy being alone, enjoy travelling alone, going to the theatre and cinema alone. Quite happy going to restaurants alone.

It's a much more peaceful life than the one I had when I was with my children's father. It works for me.

Slightly old thead now but I am struggling to find my people and I can often feel more alone when I am with people sometimes. I envisage when the dc are no longer at home, the majority of time will be spent alone (with a dog/pets). I'm also okay going places alone and have discovered my interests are fairly solitary.

It scares me, the thought of being alone so much but I really struggle in group situations - not impossible but I don't get much joy out of it. I kind of force myself into human contact currently - mainly to prevent myself from becoming isolated.

I do belong to a few groups and have a few friends who know me quite well and a sibling. And dc of course - would be so welcome and I would hope to spend as much time as possible with them. Having dc later, I am likely to be early to mid sixties before last dc leaves home. I have however, considered the Age UK young lodger scheme so there is someone around in the evenings - again so I am brought into some kind of human contact.

I'm 43 and my DC are still young, but no significant other for 5 years and truly more comfortable/happy on my own.
I love my DC and enjoy a lot of aspects of parenting - and I have many years ahead with them at home - but I'm at my most content being at home on my own with my cats!

Yanbu.
I’m often calculating in my head how long till the dc go and I’m alone. Obvs depends on how they do with life choices, uni etc.
I can’t wait to be left alone in the sense of not being quite as needed as I am now. To do more on my terms.
I’m a lone parent and suspected adhd and really can’t relax with dc in the house even if they’re quiet and in another room.
don’t want to wish the years away. But just looking forward to pleasing myself and also travel - just wandering off having adventures and exploring. Uk is fine. Just exploring and finding little routes through towns, cities, countryside, with no time pressure and nothing to rush back for.