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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DC choose how to spend their voucher

39 replies

Oysterbabe · 02/01/2023 14:35

Children are 5 and 7. Both have December birthdays so we are drowning in toys. They both got a toy shop voucher from an aunt that they are desperate to spend.

My view is that it is their voucher to spend on whatever shite their heart desires. I'll offer opinions and guidance but ultimately it's up to them. DH always wants to basically choose how they spend the voucher with some small input from the kids and definitely prevent them from buying crap.

I think it's much nicer when they can tell the aunt what they bought and why they chose it etc rather than having their options being heavily restricted.

OP posts:
FromTheFront2theBack · 02/01/2023 14:37

YANBU. Unless it was a massively overgenerous voucher (£200 or something) or they want to buy something age inappropriate I'd let them buy whatever shit they want.

I might consider delaying them spending it if they really have too much stuff but if their desperate to spend it now I'd go with it as it's theirs.

2chocolateoranges · 02/01/2023 14:42

I think it depends on the value of the vouher eg £50-£100 I wouldn't want wasted but £20 voucher then they buy what they want.

Original poster
Oysterbabe · 02/01/2023 14:43

The vouchers are £25 each.

OP posts:
FromTheFront2theBack · 02/01/2023 14:56

Oysterbabe · 02/01/2023 14:43

The vouchers are £25 each.

In that case it's their gift let them spend it. If the aunt had given them a physical gift each it'd be cluttering up their room anyway. She deliberately chose a voucher so they could choose something they actually want. They can't buy 18 rated games obviously or something impractical (giant basketball hoop there's no space for etc.) but other than that let them have fun!

Unicorn717 · 02/01/2023 16:08

Let them spend it how they want.

If they want to get a couple of rubbish toys that will last 5 minutes, let them. If they want to save it and buy something better when they get some pocket money, that's up to them.

It's their money so should be able to spend it how they want.

dancemom · 02/01/2023 16:26

I'd keep it aside for a few months, explain to auntie they have so much right now so you're saving it for later in the year

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/01/2023 16:27

Let them buy whatever the hell crap they want! It's hardly going to be something they will cherish for the rest of their lives. Your DH needs to lighten up a bit.

Anisina · 02/01/2023 16:31

Let them spend it on what they want when they want.

Hellocatshome · 02/01/2023 16:33

If you can't spend your money on whatever shit your heart desires when you are a kid when can you? Plenty of time for being sensible and conservative with money when you are older and have bills to pay.

tunthebloodyalarmoff · 02/01/2023 16:33

It's their voucher their choice your husband needs to let go a bit

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 02/01/2023 16:35

It's their voucher - it should be totally up to them what it's spent on!

MyLordWizardKing · 02/01/2023 16:41

I had a similar scenario recently; I let my 8yo spend it on what she wanted (i.e. overpriced fidget toys and surprise eggs full of plastic tat) but tried to guide my 4yo a bit as he seems to have little critical thinking skills when it comes to shopping and will just grab stuff totally at random!

watcherintherye · 02/01/2023 16:44

Let them buy what they want. Pocket money and cash presents are how children start to learn to manage money, whether to spend or save etc.
Your dh can remind them that they don’t have to spend it now, and could save for something more expensive, or they could spend a bit and save the rest, but if they want to blow the lot on something or multiple things asap, then that should be their prerogative!

Xrays · 02/01/2023 16:45

Your dh is massively unreasonable 😳!

FortyFacedFuckers · 02/01/2023 16:45

I gave my nephew (December birthday) a voucher for his birthday knowing full well he will spend it on (what I class as shite) but I don't care as I think it's his to do what he pleases with it.

Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 02/01/2023 16:46

I agree with you.
I always try to give my kids advice and pointers but let them make the choice about their money and vouchers.

I think of it as them learning. If they waste their money it’s a learning my experience, if the keep it and have it available when they want something specific in a few months that will be a positive learning experience.

Caramelsmadfuzzytail · 02/01/2023 16:47

My ds is always told that he can spend how he likes as long as its not sweets. So far he's spent well.

PuttingDownRoots · 02/01/2023 16:47

When they were younger we did control their birthday money, vouchers etc a bit. But it was, for example... "Would you like a trampoline for the garden? Let's save up the vouchers for it". Or "shall we get some roller skates?"

They are 9&11 now. They received a lot of book vouchers... our only suggestion has been rationing themselves rather than spending it all at once. They've decided to save their "The Works" vouchers for later as well.

vivaespanaole · 02/01/2023 16:48

I'd be all excited about how lovely it will be to have a trip to the toy shop with the voucher at feb half term. It will feel less excessive then and they will enjoy their purchase when off

Favouritefruits · 02/01/2023 16:49

I’m a mean mum I’d probably take the voucher then let them loose with it in July, I’d let them choose what they want but later in the year.

Suedomin · 02/01/2023 16:51

Presumably the Aunt bought it for them so they could chose. I think it's fine to talk by to them about what they want but it should be their choice

Headabovetheparakeet · 02/01/2023 16:53

I agree they should be able to buy what they want but I would try to persuade them to wait a few months.

My DS's birthday is near Christmas and we keep vouchers for the summer when he's bored of the mountain of stuff he gets in December.

RhymeHasAReason · 02/01/2023 16:55

I’d tell him to bore off. They want to spend it, let them. I used to make my kids have a good look around before buying, so they’d seen all the options, but after that, it was their choice.

Stag82 · 02/01/2023 17:07

In my experience just trying to get them to stick to the voucher amount is hard enough!

Anisina · 02/01/2023 17:47

Favouritefruits · 02/01/2023 16:49

I’m a mean mum I’d probably take the voucher then let them loose with it in July, I’d let them choose what they want but later in the year.

The vouchers were birthday presents though. Why should they have to wait 6 months to spend them? It's not their fault they have December birthdays.

And yes you are a mean mum, but that's not something I'd be proud of.

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