Toxic traits in people

[Peckhaminn]

Posting for traffic. How do you deal with toxic people in your life? This is mainly aimed at girl friends and/or women who are just blatantly rude/judgmental. Please give examples and how you dealt with with accordingly?

You go first

Remain nice and calm on the surface, give them zero satisfaction by letting them know they have got to me, make a mental note that they are a tw*t and then go and tell on them to my mum and husband.. The mature adult I am.

Ugh, I'm dealing with this right now with an ex-friend, who is just lashing out at me over things I can't control. Doing the typical ranting and hanging up. It's got me wound up to a T, and I've had to sit on my hands not to respond. I suppose I just try and neutralise by speaking to people who are generally nicer, and more trustworthy

Hi Op
Thanks for starting a good thread like this,

I know what you mean, knowing how to deal with Arseholes like this in life ,
is a much needed skill, and when as a female you have been brainwashed by society to be a certain way, it can seriously fxck your head up emotionally in so many ways,and even determental to your health,

I used to be very much a people pleaser, Obviously there are certain kinds of people unfortunately take advantage, for their own warped personal agender, mostly male ,but I have experienced this with toxic mean girls type women,

I currently have a few people in my life who purposely do not invite me to social gatherings/events although I'm very clearly apart of the group. Just find it petty and stupid, and they make personal digs directly to me or to others. Not sure on why it's happened, but I'm very fed up of ignorant self absorbed knobs who feel it's ok to treat others like shit even in their adult hood.

Hi Op
My advice is know your own worth, if you have any self esteem issues, for e.g cause you have unfortunately experincing shit childhood experinces in any way, (like I have,brought up in children's homes ect,

I would definitely look into good effective therapy to address issues of this nature ,

Have boundaries put into place,
First of all know what your values are,
What you will accept and definitely will not accept in all kinds of relationships, (work/family ect
(I am not just talking about romantic relationships kind,

It's obviously easier if you can cut them off effectively, (act as if they no longer exist,

But if its a toxic working environment or Shit next-door neighbour/crap Landlord
It's obviously by very nature more tricker to navigate,
there's when need of effective personal boundaries comes into place, until you can put yourself in a better position, for e.g a Crap toxic Landlord situations, find out your rights if you are tenant, organisations out there/Internet can help in that regard, in meantime can be on look out ,for better accommodation ect

I just had a good idea 💡 that would really help you, on youtube, there is a really good very switched on motivational speaker, who I often listen to, her name is Cassandra Mack
She does exactly what you looking for here, and so much more,
I very highly recommend her, I really wished I discover her a long time ago,

Ask them why they are excluding you. Tell them that it hasn’t gone unnoticed. Then consider why you think of yourself as part of a “group” when several members of that group don’t appear to like you or want your company. Explore avenues for making new friends. No need for drama. This group aren’t your friends, move on and do better.

Hi Op
I know what you mean, it's like being back at school with mean girls bullies mentally, they have knack of creating a drama or making someone feel left, to make themselves feel more important than they really are,
Like they are vying to be either Queens bee or to be Queen's bees right side, probably cause of fear they could be next in line for toxic attitude

Unfortunately we aren't 5 any more and mum isn't organising a whole class bday party for us.

Adults can and do invite whoever they want to.

It's hurtful to feel left out. However you have to realise that relationships have many dimensions. You might see yourself as part of the group and define the group as containing X Y and Z person but someone else might see the group as only containing Y and Z, not you or X.

Don't take it personally.

mainly aimed at girl friends and/or women

I have supportive and kind women around me, DD has supportive and kind girls around her. And yet I always hear that women and girls are mean or 'bitchy'.