Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What did our mums used to do?

234 replies

CantFindTheBeat · 01/01/2023 23:38

I'm 55

I spend so much of my down time titting around on MN.

I have a great job. Great friends.
But i waste so much time on social media and probably trying to distract myself from reality when I should be doing something productive.

I remember my mum cooking, reading and working but never wasting time.

What do you remember? MN and the like are surely pleasure and curse in equal measure?

OP posts:
Wheresthebeach · 02/01/2023 08:50

Reading, knitting and sewing (badly - gah the sweaters!), gardening and drinking from noon out of sheer boredom

Fairislefandango · 02/01/2023 08:50

I certainly tit about on my phone too much, and my dm has never owned one. However, I also have more interests and leisure activities than she ever did, and I work more. She probably did more housework than me though!

Izzy24 · 02/01/2023 08:50

HarlanPepper · 02/01/2023 08:38

My mum worked quite long hours, she didn't have a lot of downtime. If she was at home in the evenings she would rarely miss the Archers (and always the omnibus on a Sunday if she was home for it), she read loads and she liked TV crime dramas - Poirot, Inspector Wexford, Bergerac, that sort of thing.

Now she spends most of her time on internet crafting forums and at the moment she's always got a livestream on of some American woman sewing a quilt. She also spends a lot of time on Twitter, mainly tweeting about the Archers.

This thread is fascinating.

But the one thing it has made me want to do is livestream American women making a quilt…😂

FartWrangler · 02/01/2023 08:51

My mum spent a lot of time looking after our animals (ponies etc) and gardening and the rest seeing her mum and sisters and watching the occasional bit of tv (Gardener's World). She also listened to some gardening thing on Radio 4. The school day was quite short, so she didn't have that much time to fill during the day. During the school holidays, it was more ponies etc, plus Sainsburys/farm shop/family, only my sisters and I did it all with her.

NoWayRose · 02/01/2023 08:54

Yes I couldn’t believe it was the 90s - looked more like the 60s! Was funny to see all the kids rollerskating past too.

dottiedodah · 02/01/2023 09:05

Mum worked pt and knitted evenings .also liked dressmaking.nan lived nearby so woul pop over there. Liked to read the paper and sometimes a book

MachineBee · 02/01/2023 09:05

My DM was born before WW2, but thoroughly refused to confirm to the prewar expectations of women, despite very conventional working class parents. She always wanted to be a teacher but her DF stopped her when she left school from going to teacher training college.

She married my DF at 20 and he encouraged her to follow her dream. She started as a part time lecturer working in the evenings when he got home from work.

She went on to hold down two PT jobs eventually getting her CertEd which meant she could be a teacher. I remember her and my DF studying for exams after dinner.

I distinctly remember being the only one of two in my class at secondary school with a mum who worked full time.

She had type 1 diabetes but worked full time and played tennis and badminton to a good club level. She used to watch Wimbledon religiously every year and wow betide anyone who disturbed her. Our tea would be on the trolley made before the tennis started and we had to help ourselves. She was also on various committees and regularly hosted parties.

She had a cleaner because as she often said ‘Women can have it all but they can’t do it all themselves - get help!’

She had her own bank account and car, loved gadgets. She was always at the centre of any social gathering.

She was well read and an ardent feminist encouraging me and my DSis to be financially independent. She was a brilliant role model, apart from the smoking and drinking, which she called her small pleasures!

Longwhiskers · 02/01/2023 09:14

My mum is late 70s, she worked but mostly I remember her reading. Lying on her bed with a book. She’s v frugal and even today won’t treat herself to a new book, she puts vast reading list requests in to the library and patiently waits for them to become available or she buys second hand. She also read magazines to do with her interest (history). And cooked from scratch a lot.

Sandra1984 · 02/01/2023 09:16

My mom was an architect, she was never at home, always working and when she was at home she had a huge social life so always out and about with friends. I never saw her cooking, cleaning or knitting. I was raised by a nanny who hated her job. Happy times 😥

Thatdidnthappen · 02/01/2023 09:20

I had my first 21 years ago.

I used to watch shit day time TV. I also used to buy heat, now and closer to read about dickehead celebs.

I was so fucking glad when we got internet in the house and then a phone I could look at it on (that wasn’t until 2007).

BarbourandWellies · 02/01/2023 09:25

She baked, she cooked, she did the gardening, she walked the dogs, she saw to the horses (mine and my sisters’ horses, she didn’t ride!), she helped us with homework, she did the laundry (all line dried, we never had a tumble dryer), she washed up, again by hand, she made jam and marmalade, she mopped and swept and dusted and polished and honestly I never really saw her sat down… ever. We lived in a very large country home growing up and I had quite a few siblings, there was always something to do. She was also desperately unhappy with my horrendous perfectionist father. Nothing was ever good enough, clean enough, tidy enough for him, despite him never lifting a finger.
It’s made me feel all funny thinking about this… and my mother is only 58 and in rude health! How daft of me!

BarbourandWellies · 02/01/2023 09:26

this is a fascinating thread, I’ve loved reading through it. Thank you to everyone who shared about their own mothers.

fiftiesmum · 02/01/2023 09:32

In our house Monday, was washing day, Tuesday ironing and putting away, Wednesday bedrooms deep clean, Thursday windows and outside, Friday was brass and nick nack polishing Saturday was big shopping. Sunday was cooking the big breakfast, dinner and Sunday tea.
Plus deep cleaning living room, kitchen and bathroom everyday.

Phos · 02/01/2023 09:38

I guess my mum would read or watch tv - she still does as she doesn't use social media.

BarrelOfOtters · 02/01/2023 09:39

Mine did jigsaws. The cryptic crossword in the Telegraph. She was a good cook but lost interest in that as soon as M&S ready meals appeared. Cooking for 4 of for 25 years was more than enough cooking for anyone.

dog walked.

Goodread1 · 02/01/2023 09:40

Hi Op
I know what you mean, My mum loved reading Mills and boons and Authir Catherine Cookson 📚 books/and watching her escapism bodice ripper TV dramas,

you made me 😃 laugh when you said expression "titing "about ,thanks for this thread,as its brought back good memories, of growing up.
sadly 😥 my lovely mum who adopted me is long dead.
I think reading books ect was alternative form of escapism too,
I just rembered my mum used to like Avon make up and Tupperware parties visiting her friends, I would come along,
I thing it was a thing back in the early 80s in surbia to do,
I think I would be bored 😴 out of mind a bit with Tupperware 🥳 parties idea L.o.l
I think Ann summers parties were better fun, with friends.

My take on Escapism is along as its in balance, and you stay emotional grounded,

Healthy Escapism can be good,beneficial for you,
for e.g too much reality can be overwhelming at times for e.g watching 24 News etc,
As long as you are not ,so much into Escapism you are away with faires.(out of balance,you are doing 👍 Ok.

Kanaloa · 02/01/2023 09:41

Watch telly, read books. Go shopping. Talk on the phone for ages. Basically waste time and enjoy themselves just like we do now, just a different format.

Skyeheather · 02/01/2023 09:41

My DM used to knit constantly, she was never not knitting something. She had a sewing machine and made most of mine and DSIS clothes. Our house was spotless, ironing always up to date. DM did a lot of baking too. DM spent a lot of time in and out of neighbours houses, going for coffee and a chat in the mornings. Most of the street were SAHM's.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 02/01/2023 09:46

I don't think social media is any more of a waste of time than watching TV or reading is. It's just another way to pass the time.

My mum worked full time but her evenings were spent watching TV, reading, cooking dinner, drinking wine and talking on the phone. Now with she does all of the above and messes around on the internet.

My grandma was similar - lots of TV, gossiping on the phone, maybe some gardening and napping a lot Grin

Rainallnight · 02/01/2023 09:48

I love this thread. Thank you OP for starting it and everyone for sharing about your mums.

I’ve got rotten flu, will come back and post about my mum a bit later.

Can we have it in classics, Mumsnet?

Izzy24 · 02/01/2023 09:49

Rainallnight · 02/01/2023 09:48

I love this thread. Thank you OP for starting it and everyone for sharing about your mums.

I’ve got rotten flu, will come back and post about my mum a bit later.

Can we have it in classics, Mumsnet?

I second that

Rainallnight · 02/01/2023 09:50

I don’t know how to make that happen. I’ve tried tagging HQ but can’t make it work. I’ll report a post and see if that does it

Pipsquiggle · 02/01/2023 09:58

Sew and make clothes - she now makes patchwork blankets
Bake

emptythelitterbox · 02/01/2023 10:04

She spent downtime at home. reading and watching TV as did my dad. She later opened an antique business and refinished furniture after dad taught her to drive when she was late 30s.
She had hobbies of drawing and painting.

Her day was full of housework, raising us kids, cooking everything from scratch. She managed the finances too.

thriftyhen · 02/01/2023 10:04

I don't remember my DM ever sitting down! She was always busy, sewing, gardening, cooking, entertaining and going out, and was hugely involved in local politics. Now in her nineties and frailer now, she still has projects on the go and does all her own cooking pretty much from scratch. She is still as bright as a button, loves the internet and is interested in the world and politics.