To be SO envious of this?

[tiredmama23]

My DH will be working away from Tuesday. He will be spending 8 days away and come home for 6. This is a new job. And he will be working extremely hard, granted.

But...

He gets 8 days of staying in a hotel. No housework, no shopping, no cooking, no childcare. He plans to spend his evenings in the hotel gym and watch Netflix uninterrupted. I could die of envy. 😫

AIBU to ask him to swap with me and LTB if he says no?

@Axolot

How do you find it when he's away, if you don't mind me asking? Do you have DC? I'm worried about flying solo for those 8 days but I'll have to manage somehow!

@PermanentlyinUAT I love your user name 😂

Haha to be fair I am looking forward to the washing pile being significantly smaller during his days away 😂

No housework, no shopping, no cooking, no childcare. He plans to spend his evenings in the gym and watch Netflix uninterrupted.

I imagine he pretty much lives a life like this anyway. ^ Most men do.

Ah that does sound rather nice I agree!

I had a work trip when my twins were three which involved two nights in a hotel and I still have great memories of long hot baths with a glass of wine and the bathroom TV on! Bliss.

He doesn't actually. He's very hands on when he's not at work. He does most bedtimes with our toddler and he tends to do the food shopping too. I haven't stepped foot in a supermarket in a really long time, that's his domain! Although we've started to do online shopping in recent months which has transformed our lives!

I think being away 8 out of 14 on a permanent basis will be really difficult for all of you for different reasons.
How much is the extra money and is it worth it?

Oooo seriously… is there any need? 🙄🙄

I would be bright green with envy. But I would also miss DS terribly after 1 or 2 nights, as others have said it will be hard for both of you for different reasons. I did some hotel living for a previous job, it does get old quickly. But right now with a 5 month old it sounds bliss

My ex used to phone me when away for work and he would moan about the room service and the corporate entertainment. I was wrangling two under 5s alone for months. It was extremely annoying.

I used to travel a lot before pandemic. We had a sort of 'on site' time with our clients and travelled to places like Lausanne, Basel, Amsterdam. I enjoyed it first when I did not have that many responsibilities because I had free evening to enjoy the city and dine on company's budget, but once I got a relatively senior position I was usually too buys to do anything more than order room service. I was usually super busy, everyone wanted a quick meeting since they could talk to me face to face and I ended with much more work that on regular office days. I was exhausted after work and/or working late. On top of that I usually do not sleep well first nights at new place, so I was usually tired after travelling and poor sleep (and sometimes too much wine to settle myself down). I always planed to use that time on gym, book or quality movie, but I was usually mindlessly scrolling time away and drinking wine from a tea cup :D.

@tiredmama23

You get into a routine and just go with it. I do like time on my own, which helps. I sometimes use the days he's away to catch up on work (I have an office job and take work home a lot). Or I watch a TV series he wouldn't want to watch with me. Or have a friend round for a cup of tea. Or just go to bed early!

Our DC are 10 and 6 now and we've had this routine for years. I went through a phase at the beginning- when the children were v young - of eating really badly when he was away. I couldn't be bothered so just ate kids leftovers and crisps etc. I lost a lot of weight (which wasn't good) but once I got into the groove of it, it works really well.

I see no downsides in DH's relationship with the DC either. Plenty of parents work long hours and don't see much of their kids in the week. DH's pattern is different but it evens out and he gets to do things like walking them to school / home / to hobbies which many parents never get to do.

I'd hate this. When I stay away for work it just feels as if no time is my own. Watching Netflix and swimming or getting a nice meal just feels like killing time. OK for one night every few months but tires me out and takes away from time I need to do stuff (laundry mainly) in my own home.

If there's more money because of this,be aware that you are earning this too and it should be available to help you cope with his absence. Ironing,.cleaning, gardening services and so on.

It’s not a holiday 🙄. I used to travel to a city in the far east with work it was horrendously stressful and I pretty much worked day and night. My mil who had worked as a part time secretary for a few years used to witter on about how “lucky” I was. Clueless.

I suppose at least he won't be home making more mess? Hotels are actually quite grim after a while.

I don't think I said it was a holiday so 🙄 back at you.

I said I'm envious of the break he will get from housework, food shopping and childcare. Which is a fact. He will.

😮 I'd be hanging up on him!

Between 1-2k more a month take home pay. Definitely worth a decent shot!

That's a lot of extra money. I'd give it a decent chance and see how it goes.

Of course there's a chance that your DH finds it too much/bad balance and calls time on it.
Meanwhile, enjoy the benefits, such as they balance out.