To insist my ex repairs all the leaks in his roof to keep our children safe?

[Cherrybananacake]

He doesn't like getting anyone in to fix anything, and always says it's unaffordable. That was also the case throughout the marriage. There's a bucket for drips in one of the kid's bedrooms and a hole in the ceiling, and a funny smell according to the kids. In total the roof leaks in four places. Kids come back here coughing after a week there. (One week at his, one at mine). The cooker doesn't work and a few windows are ceased shut. He's regularly spending money taking women out and certainly has enough access to credit (and perhaps cash) to do the repairs. Am I out of order saying he should stop spending on himself and fix the house for the kids? He's angry and says who he spends money on isn't my business.

He's also obstructed divorce to avoid giving me my share of the family home or his pension (when we married he suggested I wouldn't need a pension).

Kids think it's all normal and adore him, coughing and shivering all the while. Any thoughts?

Right so what are you going to do? Woman up and tell him he can see you in court but the children are staying with you.

No way I'd be letting my kids go there until its fixed. It's a health hazard and possibly even a threat to life. Don't back down OP.

I think regular meals out would cost the same if not more than repayments on a loan for repairs. But I guess comparing them might not be the best idea. He can easily access the finance for repairs, independently or through the bank of mum and dad. I think they've offered, and I've offered too. I suspect he just doesn't want to do it because he'd have to clear out the attic first.

Thank you. I kind of needed to hear comments like these to stop me questioning decisions.

@Cherrybananacake he doesn’t have to agree to a divorce. And even if you took your name off the house to sort yourself out, I think you can still prove who paid what and show you had no option and maybe get what is rightfully yours. Please stand up to his passive aggressive crap
and also definitely don’t back down over damp and mould - it is really bad for health.

@Cherrybananacake doh I mean he doesn’t have to agree - you can still petition for one!

Do you mean that the windows are jammed shut?

if that’s the case then I would not allow my children to be there because that is a fire hazard.

Same here. The kids may not understand now, but guaranteed they will when older and if you keep sending them to that house, they will horrified at you for doing it.

I think there is a jammed window in one bedroom, 8yo bedroom. Although I've not been able to see it myself.

I have done, recently, just hit the time limit for not needing his agreement.