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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What to do with DS 17

4 replies

KittiKati · 01/01/2023 19:24

DS 17 has always been stubborn, defiant and difficult. He has been brought up in a nurturing and supportive environment with consequences for bad behaviour and yet here we are at the age of 17 and he’s still the same.

He has always had a problem with authority and became a school refuser at 13. He has suspected ADHD but refuses to engage with anyone who tries to help him.

He has no fear of consequences or life in general and struts around as if he’s the king.

He’s recently started work at a fast food restaurant and saunters in at least 5 - 15 minutes late for every shift. He often will ask to leave early if he’s doing a long shift because he’s bored, if his manager says no, he simply says well I’m going anyway as we’re quiet. He’s still on probation! I said if you want to keep your job you need to be on time and a bit more conscientious. He just said no worries my manager really likes me and I keep her happy by giving her vapes (He sells vapes on the side for his Dad).

My other children are sweet, polite and try hard in school. He’s the eldest and has exactly the same upbringing, I just don’t understand is this just an unfortunate his personality or is it a behavioural problem?

OP posts:
mogsrus · 01/01/2023 19:31

His manager according to him likes him sadly the rest of the staff will begin to revolt slowly but surely, & he will end up out the door.

NuffSaidSam · 01/01/2023 19:34

Its probably a mix of personality and age.

Just let him suffer the consequences of his actions, fight the urge to intervene or make things easier for him.

MintJulia · 01/01/2023 19:35

When he's fired, don't give him a penny. He needs to learn that rudeness/laziness means no job, and no job means no money.

Let him fail. It doesn't sound like anything else will get through.

SnarkyBag · 01/01/2023 19:36

Well he’s allowed to illegally sell vapes for his dad so I’m not surprised his moral compass is off

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