To wonder if clever people are less likely to be happy....

[Comedycook]

Maybe clever is the wrong word? Perhaps analytical is a better word. I'm just musing. I think the more you think about life, the more crap it seems. I'm not actively unhappy but I wouldn't say I'm a hugely happy person. I think way too much. So for example, at a party or event, I find it hard to let loose. I can't switch off my analytical musings on what's going on around me and as a consequence, I don't have a huge amount of fun.

Maybe this isn't intelligence as such but over thinking/analysing

Anyone else like this?

I was crap at maths at school, but later found it really interesting, took A-level aged 32 and got an A, have been reading a lot about number theory and Poincaré and P.A.M. Dirac. Love writing computer code. My family still think I'm dim.

My above post is the best example of a long winded, overthinking, annoying ramble, a bit like my mind....🙄

My son is very clever but he’s not a ‘happy’ person (depression). I sometimes wish he was just average intelligence because he analyses and over thinks instead of just ‘being’.

Why is that depressing? I’d give anything for my son to feel real joy because of something mundane.

Happiness isn't having what you want, is wanting what you have.

Not very clever people can be endowed with a lot of Wisdom... wisdom is more worth having than analytical skills.

I have no idea why clever people aren't the wisest people.

Suspect there's some kernel of strange truth in the 'thickos love hen do's comment' because they're so conformist. You sort of have to say what's expected and shout in excitement on demand etc. Highly intelligent, free thinking types probably wouldn't go in for that kind of thing (or at least this is what I'm telling myself when I next duck out of a hen do)

I'm not highly intelligent though so take that with a pinch of salt.

I agree completely and can clearly remember having this thought whilst laying in the bath as a 17 year old, who had achieved brilliant GCSE results but was on the way to rubbish A-Level results due to overthinking and depression.

I scrapped into university but my time there and 20s were spent blocking it with alcohol, getting a rubbish degree result but actually building a good career due to needing to use my “cleverness” to pay my rent and eat. I had a great time partying though, which I don’t regret and still have good friends from that time.

I met DH at 30, he’s probably cleverer than me and achieved top academic results throughout but then kind of crashed after that and has been underachieved in his career. I’m now 50 and we’re okay as we “get” each other but I worry about my DC, who are top of their years at school and their teachers are currently predicting great things for.

I’ve always been told I’m ‘wise’, even as a kid (which used to make me squirm as it sounded so boring). My sister is much more academically intelligent than me but boy does she lack common sense. I could never understand how she could be so clever yet so stupid 😁

Being an over thinker is a curse and I have at many points in my life wished I could be more laid back and not always thinking 100 steps ahead of what’s actually happened. Questioning everything. It definitely led to me feeling down.

Its much better now, I started meditating a few years ago which really helped and running a lot. Also just slowing down our pace of like, we moved to the countryside and just being outside helps, being in the moment, appreciating the small things.

I agree about running - it’s the only thing that seems to stop my overthinking!

I'm not very intelligent, but I ruminate so I think it's about being a thinker. The more you think the more you wonder about the point of life etc.

"Do you suffer from imposter syndrome?
No but in all honesty I think that's because I've never achieved much. I am intelligent and I have a degree but I've never had a "good" job"

I always laugh when people try to make out that EVERYONE has imposter syndrome. Do you think your binman has imposter syndrome? What do you think he thinks he's really meant for??

I was coming onto this thread to completely disagree with you @Comedycook but I can actually see where you are coming from.
I would class myself as a very happy, optimistic person (who btw, believes in God - just not organised religion), and although I don’t feel clever or intelligent and never feel it’s right that I put myself in that category, I do have a very high IQ (top 1%). However, I do also, quite clearly, suffer from terrible imposter syndrome and social anxiety and very much over analyse everything. However I am happy, because I keep myself small, quiet, and out of the way, happily bumbling along in my low paid job with excellent work/life balance. I wouldn’t want to be ignorant, even if it is more bliss

I have some difficulties with anxiety, boredom and loneliness. I have a PhD. In middle age I've found the solution is to seek 'flow', ie activities and people that I find challenging enough to be absorbing.

For me it depends on the type of hen do.

“Being stupid is a bit like being dead…….it’s only difficult for others”

I know several people that are counterexample of your beliefs, which is why I made the post in the first place. Not sure who you know, probably nobody who moves in those circles.

Behave, or Nanny will send you to the naughty corner.

Suspect there's some kernel of strange truth in the 'thickos love hen do's comment' because they're so conformist. You sort of have to say what's expected and shout in excitement on demand etc. Highly intelligent, free thinking types probably wouldn't go in for that kind of thing (or at least this is what I'm telling myself when I next duck out of a hen do).

Ah yes, but if you're part of the intelligent, free-thinking set, surely you're conforming to the group by being anti the mainstream stuff, so loving hen dos etc would be an act of rebellious free thinking! Besides, there are hen dos and hen dos.

There are different kind of hen dos. Just because not everyone is sitting around debating Plato does not mean they are thick.
Plenty of conformist types go to the opera but have no decent analysis of what they are watching and listening to.

I think those that you refer to as “clever” are often those that have had high expectations and aspirations from a young age. This leads right on to always wanting more throughout their entire life, as nothing is ever enough.

Both me and my DH are “clever” and overachievers but actually pretty miserable. We’re definitely encouraging our son to pursue his interests rather than what he’s gifted at academically. I think this comes from both me and DH being from very working class backgrounds and academic attainment being the escape from this, but as we’ve found out the cost of becoming financially very comfortable was not worth it for us in the end and we’d both rather be working lower skill jobs than we are for various reasons, after having worked very hard to get to where we are.