I don’t drink but all our friends do

[Givemecoffeeplease]

I gave up drinking a few years ago. Whilst I wasn’t an alcoholic, alcohol made life more complicated and I was fed up of the hangovers. It’s been the best thing I’ve ever done - I’m more present for my kids and I don’t pick white wine fights with DH.

DH still drinks, as do our friends. Every social event is focussed round food and drink. I slept terribly last night because DH was drunk and snoring, and then I was the one to get up with the kids (this was pre arranged and I’m fine with it, but it does mean I’m knackered!)

I’m trying to explain to DH how it feels that all social events are based round booze. He doesn’t see it, but he’s short tempered the day after drinking. I’d like him to cut down as he drinks more than the recommended allowance (as I used to!) - but is that because I’m worried for his health or because I have FOMO?! I just don’t know, but I feel really crap to always be the sober one and I wish DH would lay off the booze on occasions. But when I raise this he goes defensive. Garghhhh how do I put this into words, and also am I just being a grumpy old cow? AIBU to expect some socialising without booze? Help me please.

I agree with @ImAvingOops

I don't understand the concept that "drinking alcohol" equals "getting drunk".
I was at a party last night. I was drinking alcohol until about 1am. I wasn't drunk. I was able to get up this morning. I feel fine today, am pulling my weight and not grumpy.
I'm not 18. I'm an adult.
Once you are a parent, you should be able to regulate your drinking (if it is regular) so that it doesn't impact on everyone around you.

How would he respond to a suggestion of doing something like 'Dry January' (call it whatever he wants, and start whenever he wants) to see if he
a) can do it
b) feels any better for it ?

Hi @Givemecoffeeplease me and my hubby don't drink which is really nice especially when we go out for parties and meals. Maybe suggest to give mocktails a try? 🥂