Mother in law

[haventgotaclue4]

So my mother in law is great when things are going her way, if it doesn't she blocks me and my husband.

Me and my husband has been together 14 years and have 3 children together and we've recently added a puppy to the family so me and my husband and three children have our own house she lives in her own house but yet she's messaged us to tell us we knew how she would react
If we got a dog 😳 now I've told my husband to cut all contact now because it seem she wants to control what we do in our lives! But my husband thinks I'm being unreasonable by saying I couldn't care if she's in our life's or not!

Tell her to get a life, get a hobby and to mind her own business! how dare she think she can tell you what you can and can't do with your own adult lives 😂

Ignore her.
All contact from now on via DH, his mum, his problem.
Enjoy the puppy.

If we got a dog 😳 now I've told my husband to cut all contact now because it seem she wants to control what we do in our lives!

I get what you're saying but it's not up to you to tell your husband he can't contact his mum, that's also controlling.

You can ignore her though :)

You can't ask your husband to cut all contact with her, that's his choice. But you can say that she is not your problem and that if he maintains the relationship with his mother, he does it himself and it doesn't include you and your participation in their conversations/ her opinion/ visits etc. At the end of the day you married him, not her. You do not have to include her in your life. But he can in his.

My advice is that if she contacts you again, you forward the message to your DH saying that HE is to contact her about it. Make it HIS issue to resolve. You are having nothing further to do with her or her antics.

She is not part of your circus!

Keep deflecting back to your DH. If he doesn't see an issue with her antics currently, perhaps when he is the one getting these messages, he might change his tune.

Enjoy your new addition!

@midnightfirework she horrible the message she sent my husband calling me a c*nt and every name under the sun my own mother wouldn't call me all because we got a puppy I don't get her at all I'm furious!

Actually, she sounds horrible, has no business calling you a cunt, and if it were me, I would be messaging her back
’yes, I knew how you would react, but I DON’T CARE’ In my head it would I don’t fucking care, but I wouldn’t lower myself to text that to her.

Enjoy the puppy, they are better than most adult humans ime.

You've got a huge DH problem if his mother is calling you a cunt and he's not sticking up for you.

your mother in law does sounds dreadful - but you can’t tell your husband how to manage his relationship with his mother.

you can only establish your own boundaries.

you can say you no longer want to have a relationship with your mother in law because her personal attacks and unpleasant behaviour has now gone to far. You set that out clearly and calmly. You then allow your husband to make his own decision.

your husband is a person in his own right.

You carry on and make your decisions and live your life. Let your DH deal with her, while you ignore her and take the view that if she blocks you that's a good thing rather than an insult.

Not ideal that this is who you've landed as a MIL, you're not the only one, and you dont have to sink to her level.

Well that's disgusting of her. But you still can't tell your husband to do anything it has to be his choice.

P.S. ask your DH not to tell you what she says. As far as you're concerned she doesn't exist. She's no one.

Enjoy your puppy. I hope they are bouncy and bring you joy.

Are you borrowing money of her or saying you can't afford things foe kids and now have a dog so she thinks its her buisness as such , my sil did this and her mum was a bit pissed as she was buying food etc for them as they were saying they were skint and then when and bought a dog etc
If not then none of her business , but you can't make your dh have no contact unless thats what he wants as thats his choice
He also should be pulling her up ok calling you names though as thats not on
Tell him you want no contact with her or to hear about her going forward

@healthadvice123 nope we borrow no money what so ever off her we are really good financially, she did this when I told her I was pregnant with my youngest she slagged me off to high heaven I don't even ask her to baby sit she has my oldest every few weekends but not the two younger ones, if we go out for food or take the kids out we always invite we can't go for food on our own she will find out and have a go at us for not inviting her! She wanted me to have two children because she had two children! I'm really past the point in trying to please her when on reality she's doing nothing but judge me in her head and then soon as she doesn't like something it all comes spilling out!

This.

He shouldn't be allowing his mother call you anything, let alone that! That's disgraceful. He should 100000% be standing up for you, and not allowing his mother to say that about you.

I'd be tempted to reply "Well, you know what they say - it takes one to know one!" and then block her.

I'd also be telling your DH that unless his mother is saying that the sun shines out of your arse, you are no longer interested in the slightest about what she might have to say, so he is not to share it with you.

This. Cutting her off completely because she doesn't want you to get a dog is a bit extreme. Just tell her you're getting one and get on with life.

@haventgotaclue4 she certainly doesn't sound very nice to you

Why does this sound like my mother in law. Can’t believe she did this for 14 years. I don’t think I can take it that long.

Agree this is a DH problem.
My DH is a real mummy's boy but shit would hit the fan if she dared to speak to me that way, he would be furious.
It sounds like she wants some control over your life and decisions and he isn't putting her in her place.