3 years trying & family

[Shyquiet]

Just got enough. Total of three friends have announced their pregnancies via social media tonight.

Very happy for all our friends who got pregnant past year, but.. it’s hard. One of our friends was moaning about ‘infertility’ after three months of trying (second baby - she got pregnant first try on their first), and just announced their 2nd pregnancy today… including message how she understands how hard it’s for ‘trying’. Dont know can I face her.

We decided not to tell our friend group we are trying, our plan was just announce our pregnancy once we are expecting…

Been trying three years, no luck (posted to infertility section today). Still waiting ICB application to be put together by our local fertility department.

Family member told us during Xmas dinner last week we have been stupid to wait for NHS.

AIBU just to go outside at midnight and scream?

Hello Shyquiet. I just found your post searching for support for our situation. Your message is quite old and I wondered how things are for you now.
I am so sorry for the miscarriage that you experienced last year. I had one in August 2023, after trying to conceive for 16 cycles. It was a loss at 6+5, so early but still devastating. It made me hopeful that we could conceive but after another 14 further cycles, we are still trying. Haven't had a BFP since then.
I am 41 in August.
NHS has said it's unexplained infertility and the fertility unit at hospital discharged us (in November 2023) and told to just keep trying. I feel let down by the NHS. Where we live, the NHS says you have to be trying for a year for any fertility assistance, and the clock restarted when we had our miscarriage. So we could go back this August for help.
Truthfully, I hoped to have conceived naturally by then.
I track my ovulation and BBT and clearly ovulate each cycle. This cycle I even "felt pregnant" and could feel tugging and pulling, and was even a couple of days late, but AF arrived heavy and painful.
I'm considering going private but the cost is not realistic for us. Feeling totally lost.
I read your messages and was thinking you sound like me. I can't bear being around people. My friend just announced her second pregnancy. She's got pregnant, had a baby (now 1 years old), and got pregnant again in less time than we've been trying. I'm becoming bitter and jealous. I don't like myself.
Hope everything turned out ok for you xxx

Just wanted to say hey, same. 3+years trying, never had a positive. Currently 38. No big issues when tested apart from suboptimal morphology and my age (plus low amh which is problematic for ivf but not a cause for problems with natural conception). Partner had surgery to help (they travelled a pipe from an artery in his neck all the way down to a vein in his groin to close it off). I've since had lletz for precancerous cells, subsequent massive haemorrhage of my cervix (a preterminal event they called it) and just had surgery for stenosis (closing of the cervix due to scar tissue from lletz). I'm like... couldn't I just be like other ppl and have some sex for a few months and get pregnant?? I'm like shocked reading my own synopsis.

As a couple we just would really love to raise a child and show them the world. I think we both have a lot to give as parents.

My sister told me she understood becuase at 39 when she was trying for her 4th child it took a little longer than she'd hoped. I'm finding myself withdrawing from ppl. I was excited to reconnect with a very old friend at a party who I found out just as we arrived was very heavily pregnant. I made her aware of our situation and she started doing these movements with her arms and legs while really loudly telling us she was giving us some of her fertility energy. Her partner is a therapist??! Needless to say the reconnection didn't go anywhere.

I hadn't realised that we actually are comparatively lucky that we have finally reached the top of the list for nhs ivf. They told you your wait was reset since you had a mc?? And it's supposed to be 6 months for referral post 35yo I thought. I'm really sorry you're not getting treatment. On our forms, it is my age and my partners morphology that's our reason for treatment, but predominantly my age.