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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if dh’s family expect thank you cards then DH should sort it?

12 replies

GCSquirrel · 31/12/2022 20:13

DH’s family and friends of DH’s family are all obsessed with sending each other cards. At Christmas and birthdays if presents are received and we are not seeing the gifter in person I will help DC write a thank you card. This year I have put my foot down as DH once again expects dc to write thank you cards to about 8 different members of DH’s family, despite the fact the presents were handed over and opened in the presence of the giver and DC thanked them at the time. DH also expects 3 thank you cards to be sent to his parent’s neighbours, one of whom DC and myself have never even met because they gave DH’s parents various chocolate bars/ chocolate coins to be handed over to the DC.

I can’t be arsed. DC are tired and it’s just a battle I can’t be bothered with. If DH wants to keep up this endless fucking charade of sending thank you cards then thanking people for sending a thank you card (he has genuinely done this) then he can bloody well do it.

I’m a SAHM and DH does work very hard to give us a nice lifestyle and I know in exchange I should do all these stupid little tasks but I can’t be fucked. I’m going to sit here and drink Baileys and DH can piss off and thank everyone stupid.

OP posts:
upfucked · 31/12/2022 20:17

Why do you think you should do all these tasks? How many hours does DH work? Unless it’s 24/7 he doesn’t get to opt out of parenting. If he wants something specific done then it’s his job.

Onthegrid · 31/12/2022 20:18

I agree, in fact my DC didn’t send a card once DH was responsible. My family have not done cards since about 1960!

MeJane · 31/12/2022 20:19

I don't do any cards at all for dh's side of the family and I never have.

longdistanceclaraaa · 31/12/2022 20:19

You're entirely right of course.

I've never been a sahm but I found both mat leaves very challenging, and they're not that long ago, so I can empathise. You don't need these extra non-jobs. Husband wants them, husband can do them

Enjoy your baileys

StickyCricket · 31/12/2022 20:20

A thank you card for people that have already been thanked in person?

No thanks. He can take charge of that.

RhodaDendron · 31/12/2022 20:20

Hehe, I am into thank you cards for a few choice relatives not present for the gift exchange but your DH sounds like he’s lost the plot. I love your attitude. Hit the Baileys.

saraclara · 31/12/2022 20:25

No-one needs to be in charge of thank you cards for people who've already been thanked in person.

AnneLovesGilbert · 31/12/2022 20:26

Tell him to crack on. What’s he said about it?

ofwarren · 31/12/2022 20:28

I wouldn't be doing that either. They have already been thanked! Why do they need a card too?
If he really wants to send them, then he needs to organise.

Original poster
GCSquirrel · 31/12/2022 21:17

upfucked · 31/12/2022 20:17

Why do you think you should do all these tasks? How many hours does DH work? Unless it’s 24/7 he doesn’t get to opt out of parenting. If he wants something specific done then it’s his job.

He works away from Sunday evening and is back around midnight on Fridays so I do pretty much everything on the home front. I’m generally happy to, it’s an agreement we made when he took the job. But I am refusing to do this additional task. It’s utterly pointless as we said thank you at the time.

His family are still trying to get over the shock of me saying that I’m not doing Christmas cards a few years ago. They will send us all individual Christmas cards, as in 1 for me, 1 for dh, 1 for each child as well as another card to Mr and Mrs GCSquirrel and family. They’re all mad and I can’t be doing with it.

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 31/12/2022 21:37

GCSquirrel · 31/12/2022 21:17

He works away from Sunday evening and is back around midnight on Fridays so I do pretty much everything on the home front. I’m generally happy to, it’s an agreement we made when he took the job. But I am refusing to do this additional task. It’s utterly pointless as we said thank you at the time.

His family are still trying to get over the shock of me saying that I’m not doing Christmas cards a few years ago. They will send us all individual Christmas cards, as in 1 for me, 1 for dh, 1 for each child as well as another card to Mr and Mrs GCSquirrel and family. They’re all mad and I can’t be doing with it.

Show quote history

I'm really strict about thank you cards but even I think that is mental.

Theluggagerules · 31/12/2022 21:54

I insist on a personal thank you or now they are a teen a thank you text, but not a card after thanking in person... madness! Enjoy the Baileys

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