My closest dearest friend of 10years has become very distant since I had a baby.
Bit of background we both worked in the NHS for years together and quickly became the best of friends. We have always messaged loads and sent lots of voice notes which is more convenient than calling with shift patterns.
she lives 2 hours away but I always made the effort to go and stay with her and we would travel and meet in London. I offered for her to come and stay with me a lot but as she is single I think she was always more comfortable me being there so she didn’t feel in my husbands way at all - she never would’ve been and they get on well but I totally get it so I would always go to her.
Since having a baby she visited once and has expected to meet half way (central london) since, braving a southern train with a new baby and as a FTM was quite scary and a bit of a palava because London is still an hour away from me so it’s a lot of effort. In the last 3 months my son is plagued by health problems which means he’s pretty miserable a lot of the time and phone calls to her are getting more and more difficult to do as she’s always got plans and can only speak after 7pm and is always out on the weekend. Right at bedtime and as anyone with a refluxy colicky baby knows, normally involves lots of screaming.
So I WhatsApp to see if we can “book in” phone calls instead. She’ll take days to reply even though I can see she would’ve read the message within an hour of me sending, and this wouldn’t have been Pat for the course before.
I’ve booked in days for us for the next 3 months.
it always seems to be initiating contact, booking in to see her and generally doing the pushing to get to see her.
Ive asked her if anything’s wrong multiple times and said I was worried about her as she was so quiet, and her responses have generally been blunt “Nah, I’m alright.” Something like that.
Am I being unreasonable to be a bit hurt? And where do I go from here? Is she trying to tell me the friendship isn’t sustainable nowI have a baby?