Due first baby in a couple of months and starting to get massive anxiety about PIL and their visit.
They live abroad and have told us (didn’t ask) they are coming for a week, 2 weeks after the babies due date. I’m nervous if the baby is late they’ll be arriving within a few days of the birth. They’re also hinting that they are staying with us which I absolutely don’t want, DH agrees with me but finding it awkward to tell them.
They don’t seem to want to tell us if they’ve booked their flights or what dates they’re planning to be here, it’s shrouded in secrecy and I’ve asked a couple of times now which I’m just finding quite stressful.
There is a bit of a backstory in that I don’t really get on with them, they’re very self obsessed and albeit I tolerate them for DH’s sake and the limited amount of time we see them but that’s really as far as the relationship goes. I do completely understand they want to visit their grandchild but it’s not the same as them living up then road and popping in for an hour, spending days on end with them and our new baby just seems too much.
Also not that it really matters but she hasn’t once asked how the pregnancy is going or how I am, she’s become obsessed with how much weight I’m gaining (or not in my case) and I find it really uncomfortable, I haven’t put much weight on and this seems to really annoy her. She makes comments such as ‘ it will catch up with you’ and ‘just wait’ she asked me on Christmas Day on a video call with other family members and I was so embarrassed that she was talking about my body.
Basically how do I handle this? AIBU to feel like this? Do I suck it up and let them come, I’m worried about causing a family fall out if I make DH put his foot down. (In hindsight probably our fault as we usually go along with things for an easy life).