Is this enough family time?

[TrueSophieSue]

DH is about to start working away from next week. He will be away 8 days and home for 6. Of those 6 days, I will be at work for 3 of them. This leaves 3 just 3 days on a fortnightly basis that we get together as a family. When he's away there'll be little communication due to the nature of his work. We have a young DC together (under 2).

Will this make things hard for our family or can this work? Be interesting to hear from those who make this sort of set up work in their families, to put my mind at rest. Thank you.

Anyone?

We had a few years that dp and I barely saw each other due to working opposite hours to share childcare. I won't say it was ideal, but we got through it, it was manageable.

3 days a fortnight where the whole family is off work doesn't sound bad tbh - the "average" family might have 4 if both parents worked Mon to Fri so it isn't much less than that.

I think the tricky bit will be not having much communication when your dh is away, even when do and I weren't seeing each other I found it very helpful to be able to text (if only to moan about the disasters of my day).

The thing is, if something has to happen (for financial/childcare/practicality reasons) there's no point it worrying, you just have to get on with it.

Sounds tough but people do it. Forces, off shore oil rigs etc.

The question is, is it right for you and your family?

Did you not discuss this before he took the job and handed his notice in?

Three full days when you’re all off sounds like more than some people have. It just needs everyone to be on board with seeing that as family time.

Will it allow your DH to look after the little one on days he’s off but you’re working? That might be beneficial for them both, to have their own close relationship.

The difficulty may come of course when he’s at school, if days off don’t coincide with weekends

Thanks everyone.

Yes we discussed it, and it's definitely beneficial for us as a family as the financial gains are significant. But of course the trade off is less time together at home. I also work 4 days a week so I'll be juggling that and home life / childcare, too, by myself. It's not a decision we've taken lightly.

In terms of the 6 days home - yes, DH will do childcare for our toddler on one of those when I am working. The other two days I'm working she will be at nursery, giving DH those days at home by himself so we've agreed he will use that time to do food shopping and housework etc, basically all the stuff I've got behind with while he's been away. Then the remaining 3 days are family time, with no "jobs" to do as such, just days out and quality time.

That's the plan anyway!

In terms of contact while he's away, it won't be completely zero, but it will be very limited to specific windows, and his free times won't necessarily match up with mine! But we will try to make it work so we talk as often as possible. I can certainly send texts to offload my day but it might be 12 hours later when he reads and responds to them!

It wouldn’t be for me, but if it works for you or you think it will, it’s worth a shot!