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Original poster

Baby sleep HELP

11 replies

Allthechocolates · 31/12/2022 08:26

Posting here so more people can see this, desperate mama.

Baby 12 months still not sleeping through. At our wits end. Goes down around 7.30pm and sleeps within no more than 15 mins. Will sleep soundly for a couple of hours then wakes hourly, if not less. Will only settle when gets contact, eg hold hands, stroke hair etc. When I go to leave the nursery screaming starts and as soon as I return to hold hand, sit beside the cot baby closes eyes and sleeps again instantly. This used to happen around 5am,at which point I'd bring baby into my bed for the last couple of hours. Wrong I know, but I was desperate. Then it began to happen earlier and earlier and now it's around 9.30pm and last night had to go to bed myself at that time just to get baby to settle! As soon as I walk out the nursery she springs to life and cried til I go back. Sleeps immediately when I sit beside the cot.

Anyone able to help? I need my bed and sleep! What's the secret to sleeping through in a cot?

OP posts:
Hatscats · 31/12/2022 08:28

Sounds like separation anxiety - common at that age!
nothing wrong with them being in your bed, it meant I got lots of sleep as my daughter slept great with me next to her!

TinySaltLick · 31/12/2022 08:30

Nothing wrong with cosleeping, best option might be to just have her in the bed with you right now

Try her back in cot in a few months when this phase is over

BatshitBanshee · 31/12/2022 08:31

We're just through the 12 month sleep regression and I'm just here for a handhold. My DC was the exact same - except it was my DH they roared for and he had to sit and hold until DC was in a deep sleep then put her back in. Lasted about a month till she was over it but it was hell. Godspeed OP Flowers

Skinnermarink · 31/12/2022 08:37

Have you tried or heard of the moving chair method?

Original poster
Allthechocolates · 01/01/2023 22:22

Thanks everyone, was hoping there was maybe a magic tip that would get her sleeping through on her own that we'd missed but sounds like we'll have to just keep going as we are! She has always been a rough sleeper and needed lots of reassurance so don't think it's solely separation anxiety but that probably isn't helping. Just don't know how we reset her needing contact when she wakes when she now relies on it?
Off to research the moving chair method...

OP posts:
MaryShelley1818 · 01/01/2023 22:26

Your baby is letting you know she needs you at the moment. Co sleep with her - you'll get sleep and she won't be so distressed by being alone.
12mths is still very young to expect to be mature enough to sleep all night completely alone, lots of adults struggle with that!

willingtolearn · 01/01/2023 22:36

This is bringing back memories of Child no3, the original velcro baby.

Some children need more touch than others. This one took a very long time to transition to their own room and bed. We went from co-sleeping, to cot right next to bed, touching hand to settle, then cot in own room, touching hand, then sitting on bed shushing, then moved slowly slowly towards the door and freedom!

My parents and inlaws thought we were absolutely bonkers but I'd tried sleep training with my first and regretted it so much (and it didn't work).

They are now a teenager and you can't get them out of bed. Also the most independent one of all of mine. Still very cuddly and touch orientated.

laalaaland · 01/01/2023 22:47

Sleep deprivation is so hard. Your child is acting very normally though, this idea that all babies sleep through reliably from a young age is a myth. Absolutely nothing wrong with safe bedsharing if it works for you, whatever helps you get more sleep.
It sounds from your post that she's in a separate room, can you squeeze her cot into your room as a compromise? You keep your own bed but she feels reassured as you are close by?

AriettyHomily · 01/01/2023 22:53

You've got a one year old going through a regression, and it is shit. Dts did exactly the same and I had just gone back to work. You just need to ride it out.

Littlewhitecat · 01/01/2023 23:10

My 15 y.o DS was exactly like this. If co sleeping works for you, do it. I did a mixture of co sleeping and sitting by the cot with my arm through the bars. At the time I thought I'd spend the rest of my life either sitting by his bed or with him sleeping in-between me and DH. I'm here to reassure you that after about 4 months he was happy to sleep on his own. Ignore people who tell you if you do any of this stuff your baby will never sleep on its own. Do what you need to do to get the sleep you need and everything will seem so much better.

VeryTiredMumOfTwo · 02/03/2023 14:09

Hi,

Posting this on here as I am desperate for some advice. My second born is 10 weeks old and doesn’t sleep. In a 24° period she will sleep on average 6 hours. That’s 6 very broken up hours of 15 minutes here or there and that includes day and night sleep.
I have slept on the sofa with her in her Moses basket every night since she was born as she is awake so often during the night. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve tried everything. White noise/swaddling/blackout blinds/different formula/bath bottle bed routine etc etc.
My first born slept like a dream, she’d feed and sleep and be down for hours, with my second born, she’ll feed then just not sleep at all. I’m beginning to think there might be something wrong with her on a hormonal level for the fact she sleeps so little. I’m completely exhausted being awake all through the night then having to parent a newborn and a toddler during the day I’m desperate for any help/advice/anyone that’s experienced the same.

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