For resenting my husband for drinking too much?

[Sunnysideuppp]

We have a young baby and a 5 year old and he’s out drinking for the second day in a row. Said he’d be home after the football had finished (around 10pm) but it’s gone 1am and no sign. He also went out yesterday afternoon and had six pints.

When I challenge him on it he says ‘it’s Christmas’ and how he’s going to do Dry January and how he doesn’t go out much during the rest of the year.

I’m so exhausted and emotional at the moment (Christmas does this to me and with the added bonus of a baby that doesn’t sleep).

Arrange a night out with the girls and dump the kids on him one night and stay out late. See how he manages by himself.

How would he feel if you did that and left him with the kids? Unacceptable behaviour from someone with a young family.

Click-bait thread title @Sunnysideuppp

Your DH is out for 2 nights running. That's hardly alcoholism / "drinking too much" is it?

Sort yourself out with a couple of nights out, meaning that you both get a couple of nights out per month. Book a baby sitter if needed.

Are you getting the same amount of time to yourself as he is? If not, that's where you need to start, then ensure it stays that way.

YANBU. I would be resentful too. Once he is home tomorrow I would casually wear my coat and announce I'm heading out for some me time, no big deal.

How the hell is 30th December "Christmas"?

And it's not just the coming home late, it's the wasted following day as well.

Wouldn't he want to take you all out? Family night at pub maybe? Or even take-away and films at-home? Don't people want to spend time withbtheir families when they can? You know, since it's "Christmas "?

Time for a chat. He needs to grow up and be a bit more responsible now that he has a family. You have to think about your boundaries and stick to them. He is being really unfair, it's your Christmas too, and you're not the babysitter.

Sit back and see how dry January goes, then decide on your future.

You don't spend two days in a row at the pub when you have a tiny baby at home. Not if you're a decent husband and father at least.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. Put your foot down.

YANBU. I wouldn't want to be left alone two nights in a row, particularly when he doesn't come home when he says he will.

Is it the heavy drinking that's concerning you OP or being left as the default parent? (Both are totally valid things to be upset about).

@TrickorTreacle it’s not just the past two days - he got very drunk on Christmas Day too and has had alcohol at home every day since. He’s admitted to me before that he knows he has a problem with drinking but nothing ever really changes.

Should have mentioned that in the OP but was blurry eyed and angry (although I still am those things at 8am!)

Don't sleep on this OP. Your kids deserve better.

@RegularNameChangerVersion21 it’s both those things. I don’t drink a lot at all since having kids which has amplified his drinking even more.

And I could just about cope with being the default parent for one child, but doing it for two children is so overwhelming. I know I need a proper talk with my husband but he goes on the defensive every time and it always ends in argument.

He's a parent with responsibilities so I would be pissed odd too, especially 2 days in a row.

Whats his drinking like normally, typical week?

What is your issue? The alcohol, lack of family life or that you don’t get enough time off? You need to figure out what your issue is before you start talking to him.

Uhmmm maybe all of those?

Yeah he’s an alcoholic and it’s not compatible with family life. You would be better off separated and should make plans to leave.

All three, I'd imagine!

Your husband is alcohol dependent, he has admitted he has an issue.
Dry January will not fix this.
He needs to quit drinking full stop.
Otherwise, you will have a repeat of this Xmas over and over and over.

Don't have any more children with him please