Would you do anything with this information?

[thisisadilemma]

NC for this.

If you were aware of a household where there were frequent alcohol fuelled arguments between a mother and her teenage daughter, including physical aggression (think punching walls/doors), and there was also a 4 year old child in the home witnessing a lot of this, who you're told has developed a tendency to become aggressive themselves... What would you do? Would you make an anonymous report? Or stay out of it?

This is not family or even a friend. More an acquaintance. I haven't personally witnessed this first hand myself, it's been reported to me by a third party who has witnessed it, and is definitely a reliable source.

Any advice?

100% report, you have a legal duty to report concern for a child. Either go via NSPCC, SSD or better yet if you hear it happening call the police to attend as getting information after an event is harder to evidence.

I’d Probably encourage my
friend, who has witnessed it, to report it to social care or call the police if she knows it’s happening at the time.

I am not sure a call with second hand information would be particularly acted upon by anyone.

Report to SS or similar.

I grew up in an alcohol fueled houses that had constant arguments which sometimes got physical. At 32 years old I am still paying the price for that trauma. Please help that young child escape this toxic environment & hopefully get the family the help & support they sound like they so desperately need.

So sad that you genuinely feel the need to ask.

Do you know this information first hand, if so, then yes you should report this every time it happens. Poor little 4 year old needs someone in their corner.

Sorry my part about the police relates to your friend who is witnessing the incidents.

It's not an adult who has witnessed it, it's a child - would the report need to come from them?

Report it. I was raised by a violent, nasty alcoholic mother. Multiple adults knew because they witnessed it first hand. They did nothing.

You report it.

I’m of the mind that safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility. Can you maybe encourage the 3rd party to make an anonymous disclosure? If not, then personally I’d have to do something (and actually have in the past on 2 occasions with 2 different scenarios). Also, if this is what’s happening then there are 2 children in need of being heard. You can either contact the non-emergency police or (and I think this is still what the term is) the LADO (Local Authority Designated Officer I think?!) or either of the children’s schools/pre-school.

You need to report this ASAP. Don't second guess yourself.

It’s a child: that’s a disclosure and yes you MUST report. Don’t think, what if I’m wrong? Think, what if I’m right?

It is my teenage child who has witnessed this (due to them staying in the house themselves frequently). I know for an absolute fact they will not report it themselves - I'd have to do it.

Lado is for reports about concerns about professionals eg teachers.

Report it.

If you’re wrong or overreacting then no harm done. You report what you know and if it seems trivial then no investigation.

I would and I have.

SS will definitely not ask for my details if I do this anonymously?

Then yes you make the report. Every local authority has a line for social care to call.

obviously call 999 if you become aware of a situation happening right at that moment.

Yes, report. It's not your job to decide what needs to happen subsequently - this will be dealt with by professionals. Your job is simply to pass it on to those professionals to make the decisions.

No they wont,
but it is always preferable to say who you are If you can.

I'd also stop my teenage child "frequently" staying in such a toxic, volatile environment.

Ah. Thank you!!

Yeah thanks for that dig. I've only just become aware of the extent of this this evening!! Clearly I'll be doing everything in my power to ensure my child doesn't stay there.

Thanks all. Will make an anon report tomorrow.

Please god report and take your teenage child out of this environment. The damage this does last decades.

I've expressed very strong concerns to my child this evening about them staying over there after finding this out. Previously all I'd been told was they "fall out a lot and argue at times" - but this evening the full extent came out. I expressed strong concerns and my child replied "it doesn't bother me - I like to be there so I can support (the teen DD) when she falls out with her mum".

I've impressed upon my child that this is not their job and they need to look after themselves. I got nowhere. They got defensive and said they don't want to stop staying over. I'm going to have a battle on my hands here.