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Original poster

I know I’m being unreasonable about tidying my clutter

45 replies

WorriedWarrier · 30/12/2022 22:43

I’ve got one day to tidy my clutter in my bedroom.

its been like this all my life - I just can’t seem to get a grip on tidying my bedroom.

i can declutter and than I have an issue of disposing of items correctly - either try and give away on Olio etc. that produces extra stress as well as I lose track or no one collects.

ive put on weight and always had issue with clothes. It’s like I don’t want to get rid of things I don’t like but at the same time I have nothing to replace it with.

im currently crying as I thought I was getting help from my mum but she’s refused.

anyone else in the same boat?

i know it’s not a case of a little at a time….. I get so overwhelmed and have some bodily reaction… please be kind. The rest of my house is tidy.

OP posts:
Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 30/12/2022 22:44

Also tonight I threw Away a paint brush and tray because I knew I didn’t have enough time to clean it. I need to be a bit more ruthless.

OP posts:
UseAMuckySock · 30/12/2022 22:48

dunno, I just Chuck everything in the spare room and pretend it doesn’t exist

(you’re not the only one)

TightFistedWozerk · 30/12/2022 22:48

Don't bother about olio or whatever, you need it out of the house asap. Black bag up the clothes, get them into your car boot and off to the charity shop, or Sally Army clothes bin asap. It is like emotional constipation, hanging onto stuff. Heave it out. Sigh of relief.

(have a gentle hand pat, this stuff can be tied up with all sorts of issues)

TightFistedWozerk · 30/12/2022 22:50

Mucky, you too - get and sort out the clutter, bag it up, bin what can't be taken to recycle, get it out of your home. You can do it.

Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 30/12/2022 22:51

I feel like everything has to have a place… instead of in a draw for when I need it. It’s a weird emotional thing…

OP posts:
ShakespearesBlister · 30/12/2022 22:57

I struggle to throw clothes away which don't fit but this year I bit the bullet and shopped around at charity shops. I found an entire new wardrobe of lovely new clothes (some amazing bargains) and took all my old ones to the shop or binned what was no use. I think it's targeting one area and sorting what to keep and what not to keep then just being ruthless and honest with yourself. Once you e sorted what not to keep, go through all the stuff to keep and be ruthless again in case there is more you could lose. If you know you are never going to use or wear it then be forceful and honest. Procrastination is the biggest problem for me. I tend to spend more time thinking about doing the task that actually doing it. Gear yourself up and make an action plan to make a start. Write down what you need to go through first and make a list of what you need to keep and what you don't need to keep.

Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 31/12/2022 09:55

ShakespearesBlister · 30/12/2022 22:57

I struggle to throw clothes away which don't fit but this year I bit the bullet and shopped around at charity shops. I found an entire new wardrobe of lovely new clothes (some amazing bargains) and took all my old ones to the shop or binned what was no use. I think it's targeting one area and sorting what to keep and what not to keep then just being ruthless and honest with yourself. Once you e sorted what not to keep, go through all the stuff to keep and be ruthless again in case there is more you could lose. If you know you are never going to use or wear it then be forceful and honest. Procrastination is the biggest problem for me. I tend to spend more time thinking about doing the task that actually doing it. Gear yourself up and make an action plan to make a start. Write down what you need to go through first and make a list of what you need to keep and what you don't need to keep.

Ok thanks

OP posts:
Martialisthebestpup · 31/12/2022 10:11

Weight loss takes time. And fashion/your style change over time.
So here are my wardrobe clearing criteria: ~dump/charity shop anything more than 2 sizes too small - If you’re currently a size 16 but have size 8 and 10 clothes in your wardrobe then if you ever do get down to those sizes again you will have plenty of warning and opportunity to build up a wardrobe in that size in your current preferred style/cuts. Don’t torture yourself with loads of stuff you may never fit into again or that will require 3 years sustained weightloss to wear again.
~Dump anything with holes or unwearably worn out. Keep just 1 old Tshirt, jumper and pair of jeans in your current size for summer messy jobs (painting, gardening etc)
~In sizes close to your current size (eg 12 and 14 if you’re currently size 16), keep 3 or so everyday/work outfits that are still in good condition and that you really like. Throw out all underwear that’s too small (unless it’s practically brand new) and only keep a couple of small bras in good considering. Anything elastic that’s a few years old and a bit worn will just fall apart when you start wearing it again anyway - the bra you wore for six months three years ago then stopped because it got a bit tight isn’t worth keeping because the elastic will perish super quick when you start wearing it again.
~Throw out all shoes with holes in.
~Keep items with huge sentimental value even if you know you’ll never wear them again. Your first prom dress, the leather jacket your aunt passed on to you years ago, the souvenir T shirt from a great holiday, the hoodie you nicked from your ex. This stuff is not for wearing really, it’s your little memory box. If you feel sentimental about all your old clothes, imagine your future grown up daughter/niece/goddaughter looking through your old clothes - which bits would you like to tell her about?

Covidwoes · 31/12/2022 10:15

@WorriedWarrier A friend of mine runs a de-cluttering business. Is there anyone like this near you? May be worth looking into.

Stunningscreamer · 31/12/2022 10:17

Imagine how good you'll feel when it's done. What a weight off your shoulders!

It really is freeing to get rid of things you no longer love/that don't fit.

I find setting a timer works for me when doing clearing/tidying/decluttering jobs. Fifteen minutes at a time and then reward yourself with a break. Then another fifteen minutes and so on. By the end of the day, you'll have achieved so much and you'll feel good.

Shinyandnew1 · 31/12/2022 10:18

im currently crying as I thought I was getting help from my mum but she’s refused.

Does she usually help you?

I would get a big bag for the charity shop and be ruthless.

Merryoldgoat · 31/12/2022 10:20

What are you finances like?

NoSquirrels · 31/12/2022 10:22

You need to do it today, yes?

Go get a bin bag.

Look for actual rubbish, and put it in the bin bag. (This can include things you know you won’t use/clean/rehome like the paint tray).

Then put all your clothes away. Put your favourite things in first. If you run out of room, you can only keep something if you get rid of something already in the wardrobe/drawers.

The ‘everything in its place’ mantra is great. - but the place for miscellaneous stuff might be in a junk drawer for now.

Listen to these podcasts while you work for company: www.aslobcomesclean.com/podcasts/

MichelleScarn · 31/12/2022 10:23

im currently crying as I thought I was getting help from my mum but she’s refused.

is it your own home or are you still at your mums? Has she helped you before and its not worked out?

Swissnotswiss · 31/12/2022 10:30

Get rid of anything that's stained or broken for a start. If you are worried that you might need some clothes again, put them away in a box or suitcase for now.

LindorDoubleChoc · 31/12/2022 10:31

How old are you and why does it have to be done in one day?

Can't you do 30 minutes a day for a week? Listen to your favourite music (or maybe a running compilation), have a lovely coffee or drink on the go.

It's a lot to achieve in one day ... sounds like a very difficult goal.

DelphiniumBlue · 31/12/2022 10:32

Martialisthebestpup Has given some great practical tips- the one about items with elastic in I’d never thought of, but so clearly true!
If your task is to declutter, don’t worry too much about the disposal, just focus first on emptying the room. It is great to have a place for everything, but do you mean out on display? Not quite sure why you don’t consider the appropriate place being in a drawer, OP. Is it about storage or needing a visual reminder?
I read that it’s best not to even think about storage until you have finished decluttering, to enable you to assess your needs properly.
It’s also hard to dispose of perfectly good things when you are on a limited budget so Ifound selling things was helpful, much easier to decide to get rid of something if you can turn it into cash. But that does require time and effort, and maybe for you right now it’s easier to donate.
Im decluttering today too, am going to do a quick session first to get me in the zone!

toocold54 · 31/12/2022 11:51

I used to keep clothes that didn’t fit to encourage me to lose weight.

It never worked so I got rid of most of my clothes that didn’t fit, either by selling them as bundles on eBay or putting them in a clothes recycling bin.

I could have got more money for them but I was holding on to them for emotional reasons and so I needed to be brutal and get them gone quickly.

I then brought some clothes that fit my bigger body and I looked good and felt comfortable in.

I felt better about myself and so the weight was easier to lose.

Once I lost weight I brought some more clothes (only a couple pieces here and there) but it’s nice buying new clothes instead of hoarding my old ones.
I’ll still wear some of my bigger old clothes as cardis, jumpers and t-shirts etc still look good even though they are too big for me.

You should buy clothes that fit your body, not fit your body into the clothes.

I’d go through them and get rid of things that you’ve worn lots or that don’t fit you at all.

toocold54 · 31/12/2022 11:54

I find setting a timer works for me when doing clearing/tidying/decluttering jobs. Fifteen minutes at a time and then reward yourself with a break. Then another fifteen minutes and so on. By the end of the day, you'll have achieved so much and you'll feel good.

I do this too but I set it for an hour as I struggle to get back to it after I’ve had a break.

I’ll listen to music or an audiobook and I’m not allowed to stop during that hour.

YouWouldNotBelieveIt · 31/12/2022 11:59

Have 3 bags to put stuff in - Charity shop, keep, or bin.

Get rid of anything you haven't used for 2 years - charity shop or bin
Anything damaged, broken or with parts missing - bin.
Clothes you haven't worn (whether new or not) for 2 years - charity shop
Books, CDs, pictures - keep or charity shop
Cosmetics - any unopened/unused, keep or charity shop, but any opened and not used - bin.

I had to be really ruthless with the stuff we'd accumulated over the years. It felt great afterwards.

TangledWebofMincemeatDeception · 31/12/2022 12:08

Honestly...your main responsibility is to yourself, so be ruthless and do what best for you. Don’t try to give things away on fb marketplace/olio/freecycle - it takes far too long and adds huge stress in the meantime. Bag it all up and take it to a charity shop, or if you can’t do that maybe your mum can take it for you?

Don’t keep ANY clothing that you don’t like/don’t fit/can’t or don’t want to wear. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have anything to replace it with - you can’t or won’t wear it anyway so it’s just dead weight around your neck.

Take a black bag and just gather up everything that you don’t use. Don’t think, just do.

Once that’s done you’ll feel better because you’ll be able to see what you’re working with.

Come back and we’ll help you with your next task.

TangledWebofMincemeatDeception · 31/12/2022 12:15

Also, don’t give away any tat. Just take it out of circulation once and for all. Lots of people hang on to things because they feel guilty about throwing stuff away. Don’t. Anything that isn’t actually useful, just get rid. Anything that you wouldn’t actually give to a friend, just get rid. Anything that’s seen better days, just get rid.

Helps a lot with the ‘shall I keep it or give it away’ questions. They take such a long time and often zap your energy.

Augend23 · 31/12/2022 12:23

I have similar issues. I thought through all my friends and rang the one I thought would be best (and who would probably enjoy it).

We got rid of 6 bags to the charity shop, 2 bin bags and a box of stuff for the loft in a morning. I took her for lunch to say thanks.

Don't give things away one at a time - charity shop/bin and Done.

I'm not great at it either but you do feel better when it's done.

Augend23 · 31/12/2022 12:25

If you can't call someone to help you today then get a playlist on, get 3 bin bags - 1 charity shop, 1 bin and 1 recycling.

Then Just Start. Starting is the worst part.

Original poster
WorriedWarrier · 31/12/2022 14:40

Augend23 · 31/12/2022 12:25

If you can't call someone to help you today then get a playlist on, get 3 bin bags - 1 charity shop, 1 bin and 1 recycling.

Then Just Start. Starting is the worst part.

I don’t have any friends to be honest.

OP posts: