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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

In laws and family

8 replies

Isjbot · 30/12/2022 19:55

So my husband and I moved to a very remote part of the country where I am originally from and my family still live. Since moving here, my mother in law has moved to the same area and whenever my husbands family visit they all talk about wanting to move here. Part of the reason we moved was just to be a bit more independent as his family are quite co-dependent and we wanted a bit of distance, I do love them all but they don't have much independence from one another and are quite intense whereas my husband and I prefer to do our own thing and are pretty chill. AIBU to be finding this quite difficult? It's just so odd to me to be followed this way and feels like alot of pressure on us.

OP posts:
35965a · 30/12/2022 19:56

Your MIL followed you?! God that must be suffocating. I feel for you.

Woopzies · 30/12/2022 19:56

YANBU.

But at the same time you can't exactly tell them that you moved to escape them (well, you didn't - not exactly; you know what I mean...).

Tricky one, OP. Could you possibly tell them how much you hate it there to put them off? 😂

Cherrysoup · 30/12/2022 20:01

Can your Dh not have a word and say you moved for a reason?? I’d be appalled if my mil followed us!

MassiveSalad22 · 30/12/2022 20:03

PIL followed us because they hate me and are incredibly passive aggressive 😂

Get DH to shut it down!

AlwaysFoldingWashing · 30/12/2022 20:17

OMG I'm so sorry, this sounds like my idea of hell

Isjbot · 30/12/2022 22:59

Woopzies · 30/12/2022 19:56

YANBU.

But at the same time you can't exactly tell them that you moved to escape them (well, you didn't - not exactly; you know what I mean...).

Tricky one, OP. Could you possibly tell them how much you hate it there to put them off? 😂

I wish, stupid me has been banging on for the last 15 years (while we lived in his hometown) how amazing it is 🤦‍♀️ Maybe I could just say its changed since I were a lass and is totally shit now. Would that be too obvious 👀

OP posts:
Isjbot · 30/12/2022 23:03

MassiveSalad22 · 30/12/2022 20:03

PIL followed us because they hate me and are incredibly passive aggressive 😂

Get DH to shut it down!

Oh no!! It's rubbish eh? I mean, tbh, MIL isn't too bad and dh is far too nice to shut it down with the others but we definitely try to gently discourage the them from making the same move. It's just always niggling away at the back of my mind though. It's just so annoying 🙄

OP posts:
Whowhatwherewhenwhynow · 30/12/2022 23:07

To be honest I’d just let them know that just because they live closely doesn’t mean you’ll be seeing them frequently.

if they are overbearing even if they live close you don’t have to see them a lot.

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