How to cut away from Narc Mum and rest of family?

[Ahugwilldonicely]

Seriously contemplating walking away from my family after another string of events. I keep going round in circles of maybe it's me, maybe I'm being dramatic and then thinking about the logistics and thinking I can never be free of it all.

Any tips, experiences, advice would be much appreciated as it's messing with my head big style and I feel I've exhausted everything Google can offer me.

Have NC for obvious reasons.

I don't know if it's possible for you but a couple of sessions of counselling may help(I ended up paying for a lovely person near me with good reputation - not cheap but worth it). I had no idea of how my teenage years had effected me. I have a loving family but teenage years caused me to be a "yes" person, " don't make a fuss or rock the boat" person. I haven't changed - very hard to reprogramme - but God to understand why I have those feelings is like a weight been lifted.

It works great if you move towns and give it lots of time. I’m a free person and have my own family. The past is a bit like a bad dream I once had.

Living in the same town there was always that feeling in the back of your mind that they could be round the next corner.

It’s incredibly lonely at first, but you keep reminding yourself that lonely is better than being surrounded by people you can’t trust.

@Lou834 thank you. I've been seeing someone a while now who's been great that actually started to learn how to set boundaries with my Mum and going over all my teenage years etc. I think that's helped a lot and I'm far better but seem to have woken up to all the abuse now, and the realisation it'll never change. I'm glad you've managed to find some peace from your sessions.

@OriginalUsername2 oh wow, that's brilliant that you've managed that but how hard to have to move etc!

Unfortunately we have DCs who are settled and happy and jobs we couldn't find elsewhere. It does seem like the easiest idea. A friend has suggested moving locally and not telling them where, but that seems like it'd invite the crazy even more.

That's last sentence of your post really resonated. Feeling very insecure at the moment RE friends, DH, DCs in the sense they could all leave at some point in time. Nor sure if that's being anxious or having been fed the 'family is everything' line for so long.