I based my opinion on the likelihood that there were young children, and I've also made the assumption that you didn't own the property you live in, which is why I don't think you were stupid to get married.
I'm guessing from the time frames you give that probably you had a child together young, and have then had the little ones. All ways round you sound like you have both spent most of your adult lives as parents. I suspect relationship counseling is probably very hard to get now, but might be worth looking into.
Yes this is the harder bit from many men's pov as everything does revolve around the children, though there are things you can both do to alleviate that a bit, but it takes working as a team, which sounds like isn't currently happening.
There is a big difference between finding life is boring, and finding your partner is boring. Most mothers who find themselves without any time for themselves become 'boring' because they're permanently behind, or trying not to be, while the the partner who has down time spends it picking fault.
Sometimes the only answer to questionable 'bantering' is a light touch give it straight back - but the fact he's shouting and you feel he's putting you down, says exercise caution there.
I'd be looking at what do you want out of life? What are your longer term hopes/plans etc?
Then asking him straight what he wants out of life, laying out what you want, and having a serious discussion about how achievable those goals are and how they could be achieved, and if not how he'd like to proceed. Leave that ball in his court for a bit.