Convinced myself I'm going to have a stroke or heart attack but even that doesn't seem to help me change! Help.

[dinosandprincesses]

I'm early thirties, 5ft and weigh 12 stone. My bmi is classed as obese. I've shot up 3 stone in 2 years since having my youngest. I have asthma which is pretty badly controlled. I take omeprazole everyday for awful acid reflux. I don't sleep well as I'm up two or three times a night to go to the toilet. I constantly get uncomfortable pains in my chest. I get out of breath just from going on a short walk.

And yet despite all this I can't make myself change. I'm obsessed with takeaways/ unhealthy food. I eat 2 takeaways a week normally, sometimes more. I also eat out at least once a week. When eating at home I tend to go for unhealthy ready meals or pizzas. I also completely cover all of my food in salt because everything always tastes so bland without it. I make sure I make healthy food for the kids but just never eat it myself. I constantly crave bad food. If we arrange a day out or just pop in to town etc I plan the whole day around where we can eat and what I will have. It's also massively affecting our finances. I also drink way more than I should. I normally have 2-3 glasses of wine an evening.

I've tried slimming world countless times. I'm supposed to take metformin daily due to pcos but never take it as it makes me sick when I eat sugary food (which is exactly what I need but can't stand going without the food!). I've tried counting calories, joining gyms etc but nothing helps because I can't stop craving bad food.

It sounds pathetic but I can't stop. I've convinced myself that I'm going to have a stroke or heart attack because my diet and lifestyle and heavy salt intake is so unhealthy. It absolutely terrifies me and I want to change for the sake of my children but I just don't know what to do! Has anybody felt similar and managed to change things around?

Op l am similar height and weight to you.
I know what l should do but don't always do it
You sound very overwhelmed so my advice would be take very small steps to make changes. Put less salt on to start with, cut down to 1 takeaway a week and just have 1 glass of wine a night. Be proud of little achievements.
Start walking then gradually build up your distance . Write down all your achievements and see how you improve.
New year is a perfect time for this.

I haven't been in the same position as you, but from a behaviour/psychology point of view, convincing yourself you'll have a stroke won't help you change. Starting with a negative just leads to feeling shame/fear, and all the things you 'should' do will feel like restriction/punishment.

Starting with a positive - I want to look after myself because I deserve to be healthy, because I'll have more energy, because I want to be able to run around with the kids - is much more likely to be successful.

Similarily setting small tasks/changes will be more likely to get somewhere. Eg instead of 'i need to lose three stone in a year' try 'I'm going to eat a healthy/filling breakfast each morning. Then don't try and change anything else until you've nailed that and it's become habit and something you don't really have to think about any more.

Trying to take away your takeaways when it sounds like you depend on them emotionally, is like telling someone in a rainstorm that they have to remove their coat. The reaction is to hold on to it tighter!

Build up enough positives elsewhere, gradually, and you'll find that takeaways no longer feel like a lifeline.

I will caveat this with that it might help if you can get some specific help around pcos as that makes weight loss harder, not impossible but certainly not as straightforward.

Same I’ve been going to bed lately worrying about my heart and I’m on a long journey at the moment just worrying about my arteries. Then I saw this thread and it’s totally a sign! Agh!

But I noticed my arm and ‘heart’ only started hurting once I thought ‘oh! I did make it through the night! I must do some exercise’.

Last night I was Googling can you unclog clogged arteries yourself. The answer is no. So I guess just got to not make things worse!

Great post @Proteinpudding !

Hi OP. I am a similar height to you 5ft 1in, but heavier at 13st 7lbs. I also smoke.
I am terrible with food, secret eater, eat enough for 4 bloody people. If I know I'm going to have an afternoon to myself then I will plan what I can go get to eat. Awful really.
Heart disease runs in my family, my dad had a quadruple heart bypass at 50 and it does scare me.
I have had success before with a very low carb diet, "everything in moderation" doesn't work for me as I am addicted to carbs. I need to cut them down in order for the cravings to go.
I bought myself a blood pressure monitor the other day and the readings are terrible for someone my age. Moderate hypertension. That has really pushed me to do something about it as well as having diabetes in pregnancy and my latest blood test being nearly pre diabetic. I'm starting again low carb eating again. Personally for me having the number there in front of me made me realise I can't keep getting away with abusing my body anymore.
What's different this time is I'm doing it for my health not strictly weight loss or what I look like.

I hope you find a strategy that works for you, here in solidarity

Buy a blood pressure monitor, so you can keep an eye on BP

Aim for small, sustainable changes that become a habit

You didnt get into this situation overnight. You won't fix it overnight

Think of what you want eg healthier lifestyle, rather than what you know is bad for you eg takeaways

Your addicted to UPF. Listen to addicted to food podcast on bbc sounds.

You absolutely CAN quit, you're just telling yourself you can't.

Start treating it like an addiction: https://www.wikihow.com/Overcome-an-Addiction

You say you can’t stop, and everyone knows it’s difficult, but you can.

You really can, if that’s what you want. You just have to want to be healthy or thin more than you want to eat pizza.

Because no one else can do this for you!

Im also 5 foot or 5”1’ depending on who measures me. I went from 12 stone at the end of covid, to my current 8 stone something now. Nobody else did it for me. If you think anyone else can help/make you with weight loss, then you have more than weight issues.

Im sure you know the basics.

1 Fill up on water. We often eat when we want a drink. a glass of water before each meal will make a difference.
2 Eat plenty of veg. filling and low calorie.
3 don't snack and don’t eat between meals. Breakfast, lunch and dinner is your limit.
4 watch your carbs.
5 exercise. Even just an hours walk each day. Running,swimming, weights…or join a gym.
6 don’t buy cakes, crisps, takeaway etc. If it’s not in, you can’t eat it.
7 meal prep. Make some healthy meals to keep in your freezer.
8 Keep some carrot sticks, salads, apples in your fridge to grab as a substitute for chocolates.
9 if you like an occasional drink, dry white wine, vodka and soda or whisky are all low-ish in calories.
10 tell everyone you know that your goal is to be under 10 stone. The more people that know, the more people that you will have to explain your failure to. A great incentive to stick to your goals.

best of luck, you’ve got this. Seriously, if you need, I’m happy to chat, pm me.
it really does get easier every day. Think healthy.

Hi op! I am technically obese but I don't think we can hate or scare ourselves in to losing the weight! You have to get your head right first before you start. Honestly it's all in the mind and I think we have to start with the acceptance that "we are where we are and we can't change what's happened in the past" but happily while we are still alive we can make a few changes such as having a walk every day, drinking more water, eating more vegetables. Think about daily habits rather than goals. And accept that if it took a while to put on, it will take a while to come off. And for a start, think about finding something diverting to replace the feeling that eating gives you!

Can you kickstart with shakes? I've lost 3.5 stone so far, and had got into a rut of bad eating and salads etc just don't taste amazing in comparison to Indian takeaways etc .
I did 3 weeks shake breakfast and lunch, protein and veg for dinner by dinner I was so hungry I was just glad for the solid food. After those 3 weeks it was like my tastebuds had reset , and fresh veg, fruit etc tasted good compared to the shakes. I now eat 3 meals a day and snacks but stick under 1200 calories and loose approx 2 pounds a week, so steady. I didn't lose anything Christmas week but also didn't gain anything which is a win! January is a good time to start because lots of people are doing the same

Oh I've also found a Fitbit makes me more conscious of my activity and more importantly encouraged me to improve sleep hygiene and my sleep stats are now better, I've found when I'm well rested I'm less likely to crave carbs/sugar/junk

OP, I would recommend seeing a therapist regularly, to work out why you are so addicted to self destructive behaviour. Once you have unpicked whatever underlies your cravings, you will have a better idea of how to deal with it.
Some people use food as a substitute for love, others as a reward, or comfort when stressed, others as deliberate self sabotage, and some simply yoyo their blood sugar on a sugar/insulin/sugar rollercoaster.
It is perfectly possible for you to lose the weight and establish long term healthy eating patterns, but you need first to understand what is currently stopping you, and treat those causes. Good luck!

I have asthma which is pretty badly controlled. I take omeprazole everyday for awful acid reflux

These 2 are often linked, if its still not being managed well on medication then please book in for a review, same goes for your asthma. Diet can make a huge difference in acid reflux as well, being breathless can be a sign of course of asthma but also the AR which a lot of people don't realise. I expect getting both of these under control will help a tonne.

As for your weight, it doesn't sound like you're overly at risk of weight related complications although would benefit from losing some. Key is finding what works for you, that could be addressing the underlying emotional/MH reasons, finding exercise and diet change in lifestyle that works for you.

Thank you for the comments, some really good suggestions here. I will definitely be buying a blood pressure monitor as a start. I will also speak to my dr to see if they can give me any advice re losing the weight with pcos.

I feel so rubbish and unhealthy all the time that I really do want to change because I hate feeling so tired/ lethargic all the time. I'm going to take the advice of starting with small manageable goals and see if that will help.

Following this thread with interest.

Intrigued by the 'addicted to UPF" theory!

I have binge eating disorder and going to try some hypnosis apps, might that help you?

Oh yeah I would be really interested to know if these help!