Worries about dad and money

[Twinkler78]

I could really do with some advice.
my dad is in the early stages of dementia. He has carers who meet his daily needs. He lives a few doors down from my sister who does not work and I live about 45 minutes away and work full time therefore I see less of him (although we are close). My sister takes him shopping once a week ish when she goes, but I am suspicious of the amount of money he’s spending in the supermarket. He seems to spend upwards of £80 weekly yet has nothing in the cupboards and a couple of ready meals in the fridge. I do interim bits of shopping when visiting so I know that stuff isn’t being bought.
I don’t know how to tackle this and dad can be a bit stroppy when the subject of money is raised - what do I do / say without making a huge argument? I have also had my suspicions for a while about monies owing that never get paid back etc too.

What exactly are your suspicions?

Presumably he is buying food for the carers?

i don’t know what’s happening I think he’s buying my sisters shopping

I guess you suspect that your not so DS is beneftting.

Absolutely

Just to add also, he only gets a state pension and struggles Financially

Are you sure he is not needing to purchase incontinence products, or is paying for pharmacy items? Taking cash-back to pay a cleaner?
If you're sure, I think you need to be a little crafty here if you want to avoid explosions.
Perhaps say to your sister that as Dad has dementia, you feel you both need to be spot-on with looking after his finances, just in case of any fraudulent behaviour from carers, or information needed in future perhaps for care assessments. It's quite possible that if social services get involved further along the line, you will need to demonstrate financial propriety. Therefore all receipts should be kept in a folder in his kitchen, and you should both download his banking app (one to her phone, the other to her iPad, it works so long as you both use the same log-in details) so you can both view any activity.

Thank you - this is good advice. There’s no other things being laid as you mention - I am 100% sure of that.
I think I will let things settle for a week or so and then try to find a good opportunity to suggest this.