Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling my Dad off for chatting with women on IG

17 replies

TheQueenOfHearts · 29/12/2022 20:52

My Dad visited for Christmas. He lives abroad so we only see him a few times a year. He's been divorced for several years but never really mentioned wanting to meet someone else.

However during his visit I found out he was chatting to women on Instagram, total strangers. He would like their pictures and they would start chatting then going on to messages. He's in his sixties, not super tech savvy. His IG profile was public (he didn't realise). But he must have realised he was chatting with women in their thirties, some of them with an OF link in their bio.
I found out and got mad and really upset because this is so embarrassing and also he can't be so naive as to believe it would lead anywhere? He mentioned he was going to meet one of them in January but to me it sounds like the beginning of a scam?

I forced him to delete his IG and told him off for talking to strangers without understanding the risks.
AIBU for that?
I feel torn...

OP posts:
Onnabugeisha · 29/12/2022 20:54

God that’s controlling. He’s not a child. You shouldn’t be forcing him to delete SM because you’re embarrassed.

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 29/12/2022 20:55

Don't be ridiculous he can do what he likes!

You've just plastered all this over the internet...to total strangers. There's also a good chance the Daily Mail could pick it up...

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 29/12/2022 20:56

Oh the irony!!

Berlinlover · 29/12/2022 20:58

Forcing your Dad to delete his Instagram was a step too far.

Original poster
TheQueenOfHearts · 29/12/2022 20:59

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 29/12/2022 20:55

Don't be ridiculous he can do what he likes!

You've just plastered all this over the internet...to total strangers. There's also a good chance the Daily Mail could pick it up...

I'm bot sharing my personal details here though, am I?
Don't think it's quite the same as sharing personal pictures and full deets.

I mostly wanted to
protect him from being scammed. He mentioned one of them asking him for £1500 already. He is not very aware of these things going on.

OP posts:
Sqqueeeeeeee · 29/12/2022 21:01

So you think your dad might be being scammed and taken advantage of because he’s not tech-savvy and doesn’t understand the implications of the technology he’s using so instead of protecting him, advising him, helping him or looking into any of it, you decided to shame him and attack him?!

He’s not “embarrassing” at all. Either he’s a victim or it’s mutually consenting. So, either way, you’re wrong to be mad at him.

You should apologise and hope he doesn’t feel so ashamed that he doesn’t seek help if he ever needs it. Are you worried he’ll remarry? Is it an inheritance issue?

Poor guy being treated like a naughty six year old.

butterfliedtwo · 29/12/2022 21:01

Telling off your dad is... off.

The irony of putting this on the Internet and into the tabloid press pipeline if what you worry about is him being embarrassed.

Sqqueeeeeeee · 29/12/2022 21:02

TheQueenOfHearts · 29/12/2022 20:59

I'm bot sharing my personal details here though, am I?
Don't think it's quite the same as sharing personal pictures and full deets.

I mostly wanted to
protect him from being scammed. He mentioned one of them asking him for £1500 already. He is not very aware of these things going on.

Show quote history

How did your actions protect him from anything at all though? Genuinely? You’ve made it worse!

RambamThankyouMam · 29/12/2022 21:02

Leave the auld goat alone, for Christ's sake.

rwalker · 29/12/2022 21:03

I think education him on scams and what to look for and internet security
rather than policing him like a naughty child
might be the way to go

Stressedmum2017 · 29/12/2022 21:05

Omg who do u think you are
You know he was an adult before you were even born right? Fair enough if hes not tech/scam savvy, give him a few pointers, tell him not to send any money etc. But making him delete his social and shaming him because you're embarrassed?? Get a grip and mind your own business

Onnabugeisha · 29/12/2022 21:07

I mostly wanted to protect him from being scammed.
So have a chat about scammers and their latest techniques. I just had a chat with my DD about a random text she got that was possibly a scam. She spotted it and had taken the steps to have it verified and warned her flatmate…she was just calling to double check her assessment was good. And it was.

Forbidding your fully mentally competent father from using Instagram isn’t helping him or protecting him.

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 29/12/2022 21:10

Did you get a dog op? One suitable for your kids as they are still young and at primary school. Oh, and which diet are you doing in jan?

TheLittlestLightOnTheXmasTree · 29/12/2022 21:11

Telling us you are anonymous, yes maybe

But a v quick name search brought up details about YOU....a more in depth dive may reveal more... who knows

BatshitBanshee · 29/12/2022 21:16

Well you've definitely made sure that you've attacked him and shamed him enough that if he does run into trouble, he won't be coming to you. You'll want to soften that skill before your kids reach teenagehood OP.

Anonymous indeed. Should have name changed - if the DM pick this up you wouldn't want your DH/DF/friendgroup to read your other postings, would you.

Hope that shame sinks in as quick as the thread deletion.

Port1aCastis · 29/12/2022 21:22

You forced your Dad to delete his Insta but how do you know he only had one profile and how do you know he's not on tinder etc etc? I think if I told my Mum to delete her Insta etc she'd tell me exactly where to go!

chillibop · 29/12/2022 22:05

There was an identical thread like this that got deleted a few months back as it was a troll..

New posts on this thread. Refresh page