Help with 6yr DS

[iwillsowhatittskes]

I really need help.

I have two DSs and have raised them the same. They both have completely different personalities. The oldest (5) is like me and the youngest (3) is like his dad. The youngest is very sociable and very easy going and has hi dads personality. He looooooooves me.

My eldest has my personality. He is so intelligent and has amazing school reports. He is shy with people he doesn't know.

He is so horrible to me and only is nice to his dad. I have shown him nothing but love - attention - fun- alongside structure and and routine.

It makes me so so sad. He tells me he doesn't like me and he only likes his dad. People are much closer to my youngest as he is much more sociable and easy to get on with. I make much more money effort with my eldest but only get rejected. Please help me

When you say he is horrible to you, what does he do and is this constant?

That sounds really tough.

As hard as it is, you need to try and not take it personally, or at least don't show that it upsets you so much.

When he tells you he doesn't like you, how do you respond?
Maybe you do this already, but I would consistently respond that you love him and nothing he says will change that. I would tell him he is entitled to his opinion, but words are hurtful and we should be kind to each other.

What is the situation with his dad? Is their relationship healthy? Is he having to fight for his dad's attention?

He says it every now and then in a matter of fact way.

He used to say it out of the blue randomly but now it is usually when I mention how much I love/like him.

I ask my DH to talk me up as he does think what his dad says is gospel. My DH doesn't really do this unless I ask him to, and I do think it would really help if he did it much more.

He gets lots of attention from both of us, always.

I used to get really upset and tell him that his words really hate my feelings.This seemed to make him worse so now I really try to hide my hurt.

At school he is always complimented about how kind and caring he is to all his classmates and friends however shoes no empathy at home.

I just wanted to share my experience in case it gives you some hope!

My second child, girl, is very much like me, and spent the first 7 years of her life massively preferring her dad and not being shy about telling others about said preference. I used to worry and feel sad about it. My partner used to say she is so much like you, it's no wonder she gets on so well with me!

Somehow I persisted in not showing it affected me, treating her with love and affection the same as my other two. At just turned 7, she loves me wants to spend time with me, sometimes even over her dad.

My belief is that children always need their mums, and sometimes taken us for granted. But they always need us, and we just need to believe that.

I hope things work out similarly for you.

I wonder if it's a phase. Is he jealous of the attention received by your youngest and did those dynamics change when he was born?