Where to start with this! I brought my son up myself - his father was abusive and ended up in prison for abuse towards me and several other women. I worked hard, got a degree, bought a house and gave my son everything I could. His father was never in his life. When my son was in his teens it was clear that he had issues with temper etc but he also started taking drugs at this point. Not long after, both my parents died within 5 weeks of each other and my relationship with my then partner fell apart. I will admit that I took my eye off the ball with my son. My son is now 21 and the last few years have been horrendous- he ran up thousands of pounds worth of drug debt ( which I stupidly paid) , he’s smashed my house up several times, ran amok with a knife last Xmas ( I had to call the police). His father got out of prison a few years ago and befriended him - they did lots of drugs together and had a bit of a bromance before falling out… his father fed him lies for a while and I was called the most horrendous names. The icing on the cake was this year , when my son stole and crashed my car whilst high. He is being prosecuted but this has also cost me thousands of pounds in hire cars and repairs. The last few months have been a lot better - he’s stopped drinking/ taking drugs, he’s been working and he’s been living with a friend. We are waiting on a massive list to see a psychiatrist as I believe he has underlying ADHD which I didn’t see as he was on drugs. We had a huge row tonight - he stayed over last night. He demanded that I take him out for cigarettes or he would throw my dinner in the bin. He then threw the bottle of water I was drinking out the back door and grabbed my Xmas garland off the wall… I’ve thrown him out. I just can’t take any more stress - every time we row it’s awful. I lost it and grabbed the Xmas garland and threatened him tonight as I feel so helpless when he bullies me. AIBU?