What am I missing here or is he being an a-hole?

[Confusedmamadotcom]

NC for this.
2 DC, DD3 and baby DS. H has taken time off for Christmas so we're all at home atm. H was very tired when he finished work so he's had daytime naps and lie ins whilst I've looked after the DC on my own, which I'm fine with.

Yesterday morning I took DD out for the whole morning whilst DS napped so H had a very quiet and chilled morning. He messaged me to get a few bits from Aldi on our way home, which I did. He was still in his PJs when we got back at 12pm, he then complained that i hadn't bought cereal, he hadn't asked me to buy cereal.

He was moody with me all day, then offered to take DD out shopping with him, she didn't want to go with him and got stroppy. I said that H needed to take her anyway so they could spend time together. H shows clear favouritism towards DS because he's a happy and 'easy' baby, a 3-year-old is obviously more challenging.

He's still moody with me, saying I forced him to take DD shopping with him and moody that I'd asked him to buy a small present for DD's friend whilst he was out shopping.

I'm up with the DC at 6-7am and sort them out until H gets up at 8.30 ish. I took DD out again this morning whilst DS was napping, H was again still in PJs and ate breakfast when we came back at 12 ish.

He's being hostile and snarky with me still, what am I missing?

You’re not missing anything, you’ve identified that he’s an arsehole. If you’re both off, you should be alternating lie ins/free time.

Should add, the other night H got DS ready for bed but didn't put his nappy on properly so he actually got soaked in the middle of the night and I had to strip his cot at 2am. I gave him a bath in the morning and woke H up to help me with DD whilst I bathed DS at 7am. H had stayed up until at least midnight so he wasn't happy being woken up.

He also seemed stroppy when I told him he hadn't put the nappy on properly, DS's little weiner was actually dangling outside the nappy when I picked him up, that's how bad it was!

Yes he is an arsehole. I think you're enabling him as well though, he is off work! Even if you do long night shifts you're not exempt from getting up with your own kids every other day, after a few days catching up on sleep.

His whole attitude seems to be that you are around to make his life easier and he shouldn't have to muck in

You need to alternate lie ins and opportunities to nap/ rest whilst you’re both not at work.

Does he not think you might be tired and need a bit of a rest too?

He is an arsehole!

Hes being like it because he wants to laze around like a childless person.

I honestly dont get why youre ok with doing everything and having him sleep in all week. Do you feel indebted because you're a SAHM or something?

Where are your lie ins?

He’s a lazy arse and a terrible father.

Stop enabling him and tell him to buck his ideas up, look after BOTH of his children properly and tomorrow you’re having a lie in.

If he doesn’t like it he can leave.

YABU to not have asked him why he's being snarky with you, but no, YAabsolutelyNBU to think he's an arse.