Feel so sad after silly dream.

[PanattonneTony]

My OH died of a terminal cancer 18 months ago. It still feels like early days. Last night I dreamt about him for the first time since his death.I had been wondering when it would happen.
But it was such an awful dream! We were younger in our first house. He said 'i want a divorce' and that was that. He was off with his friends in the kitchen, laughing and ignoring me. It was a done deal. I felt so sad and I had a few close people comforting me.

I woke up and whilst I know its silly I feel so sad about it.

I’m so sorry for your loss. The dream sounds really upsetting. Maybe a small part of you feels like he abandoned you when he died? I hope you get to dream about him again in a more comforting way.

Aw bless you, have a hug. It's just your sleep scrambled brain interpreting and symbolising the finality of your separation. My condolences.

I think that's very normal.

You had a massively traumatic event, focused around one person. It completely changed your life. It takes a long time for your brain to process that.

His death (and as far as your animal brain is concerned, HE) caused you massive amounts of pain and trauma. This dream is just your subconscious trying to work through the feelings of betrayal and hurt.
YOU know he didn't chose to hurt you by dying.
But subconscious animal brain just knows that something involving him DID hurt you.

It is normal, and it will pass.

When I went through a traumatic loss, my first dreams were awful and she too was laughing at me or ignoring me. Or I would dream she'd come back to life and then I'd wake up and it wasn't true.

I think as other PPs have said this might be your brain's way of processing the idea that you've been 'abandoned'. Of course that's not true but brains are funny old things. If it helps, for me, the dreams have progressively gotten nicer and nicer. Now in my dreams my mum always looks happy and beautiful, she gives me long hugs and when I wake up, it's much more of a bittersweet feeling than a really sad feeling.

It is very early days for you but if you can, maybe try and see this dream as your brain's way of processing the hugest of losses. Hope that for you too, in time the dreams will become much happier and more peaceful.

I had a dream about six months after my mum dropped dead, where I was telling her how awful things had been since her death. She was very unsympathetic and told me to "just get on with it" (quite unlike her usual self).

Not as bad as your dream of course. But since it was the first dream I'd had featuring her since her death, I would have appreciated a bit more compassion. I remember being quite annoyed at her dream self.

Hopefully in the future you will have other, more pleasant dreams to counter that one.